Words Of Wisdom From Papa Federico

Words Of Wisdom From Papa Federico…

Let’s start this off with some sage advice from my Grandfather, a classic, old school Italian man…the hardest-working person I have ever met in my lifetime, he died 4 weeks before Antonio was born from two different kinds of cancer.  He was Antonio T. Federico and my son was named for him as Antonio M. Federico.

I was raised in part by my grandparents and so when he became ill, frequently I was the one to drive him back and forth to the hospital and doctors appointments.  After one such appointment we were called into the doctor’s office, it was myself, Papa and my Uncle Mike the doctor told us that Papa had colon and stomach cancer and started talking about treatments.  At the time Papa was 82, he looked at the doctor and said, “Doc no offense but there will be no chemo, no radiation, and no treatment.  It is what it is and I am going home.”

The doctor said he had 6 months to live with no treatment, he lived a year…

After we left the hospital he wanted me to take him to his favorite bakery in Readville, MA on the way home.  I was standing in the bakery, shell-shocked at the news I had just witnessed and he said, “Little girl (I was 31) don’t be sad, I have had ONE HELL of a ride and when it’s done, it’s done.”  Papa taught us all how to live and he also taught us how to die, he left on his own terms, from his own house, his way and when he was damn good and ready.  He only finished the 6th grade, he served this Country in the Navy and he was in the Local 4 Construction Union in Boston, MA for as long as I can recall.

He bought his house and then he worked 7 days a week straight until it was paid off, he went for a haircut every week and made his bed every, single damn day.  He was a man of few words, however he was BIG on actions.  He never really got to see what I have built, what I am still building, however he was my greatest teacher…he taught me how to KEEP GOING no matter what and I know he would be pleased that I am sharing some of his best advice with you …

*adapted from ‘advice my father gave us’…written by my mom, Toni Stone

“Thanks to Papa we know how to get up every day even when we would rather not.

We know that no one else is going to do our work for us.

We know what’s past is OVER and GONE.

We know that when we leave something it is for a reason and once we are done we don’t go back…because the reason we left is still there…

We don’t try to live in yesterday or get it back.

We keep GOING, NO MATTER WHAT.

We remember that disappointment is not the end of the world.

We know people will screw us over unwittingly, unconsciously or on purpose.  We won’t be stopped by it. We won’t take it personal and we WILL keep a good eye on them after that…

We will also stay tuned to all the players…some people aren’t wrapped too tight, some are living in another reality, some don’t know their ass from a hole in the ground and others are just cruising through to see what they can get every day.

We remember that 75% of people have to be dealt with very carefully and some of them are dangerous characters…we remember to WATCH WHAT PEOPLE DO, not listen to what they say…actions speak volumes…promises are lip service unless followed up on with actions and results.

We do not count chickens before they are hatched.

We always have cash, just in case…”

XXOO,

Noelle

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2 thoughts on “Words Of Wisdom From Papa Federico

  1. Tiffany Benninger

    Your posts keep me going forward (Especially when I don’t even understand who I am anymore as a single mom). Some days, I don’t want to get out of bed. Some days, I’ve been user and abused so badly, I’d rather hide in my closet and quit work and become a loser bum. But…and I mean BUT I am a mother, and my kids success is dependent on my success. I could throw a pity party, or I can enjoy the ride until it’s not so damn hard anymore. That last sentence was a result of my attitude after saturating myself in your posts. Us single moms, we are beast AF. We don’t give up or give in when the going gets tough. We dig in and press on NO MATTER WHAT LIFE THROWS OUR WAY. I will fight and fight again every single day for my babies. You infuse me with that fight. Thank you.

    Reply

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