What are your hobbies? I have hated that question since I was in school. I have no hobbies…How do you start doing things you for you?
Last Spring, I decided that I needed to do something for myself. I needed to start getting back into things.. And by things I mean, hobbies, activities, or something that I loved. I was married for over 13 years, you have kids, and then you stop doing things that you love. I think we all experience that part of life even with being divorced or not. Having kids is great, but you have to give up many things in the process. I stayed home with my children for many years, so over time I forgot the things that I loved. Or I would feel guilty for wanting to do them.. Yes, the mom guilt.
I love music.. I love concerts…I love working out.. I love golf. I started to think about all the things that I had really enjoyed in life and had not enjoyed in so long. It had been years since I had done a lot for myself. Or even put myself first.
I had golfed after college and even did my internship at a golf resort, but after having kids I had not done it in years. I had missed it. Being outside with friends and a few drinks in the summer felt so heavenly. I knew a friend that was in a women’s golf league and so I decided to join. I did not have a partner and I only knew a few people in the league, this was way out of my comfort league. I usually gravitate towards smaller groups and people that I know. I was scared to death… what if my partner was a golf pro, what if she wasn’t fun, what if she didn’t sneak drinks on the course… All these things were going through my head. I like to know what to expect and this was all new…I am a woman in her 40’s that is freaking out about meeting new people. Yep, just like high school it never changes.
Well I did it, I joined the league and somehow I got placed with a partner that was just recently divorced with kids. All of my fears were put aside the moment I meant her.. I mean she suck “truly’s into her golf bag. A girl after my own heart! We really suck at playing golf, but we have so much fun. I honestly believe that everything happens for a reason and this was it. I mean sometimes its pretty much dark before we get off the course..haha. We golfed each week and could talk about our divorce, frustrations, dating, etc.. we became great friends. I can not tell you how great it felt to do something again that I am doing for myself and that I love.
Every Tuesday from May through September I golf in a women’s league. This is what I do for myself. Yes, I do golf league even when I have my kids. I am not a bad mom for not spending every moment with my kids and I have learned that you do need to put yourself first at times.
It just think its important to start doing things, activities, hobbies, etc. for yourself. Find the one that you love or might learn to love.. And do it. You might have to start from scratch and find something you enjoy..might be something completely different than the old you. Lets face it, you are different.