Every week when I write these I’m heavily influenced by things that are going on in my own life, I also hope that what I share is relatable. Even if it doesn’t solve the problem, maybe my blogs give that sense of relief to whoever is reading this- they’re not alone.
I also am an avid follower of this page. While I was getting ready to write this I saw the quote on our Instagram page:
“If you don’t heal what hurt you, you’ll bleed on people who didn’t cut you.”
That quote hit me like a ton of bricks. Every Sunday I write and try to encourage. I share things that are deeply personal, that are hard to speak out loud. Still are.
I’m learning the more I speak them out the easier it is to do so. The more I speak them out the easier it is to prevent them from happening again. The more I speak them out the more I heal.
I am ashamed to say that I am the type of person that when I’m hurting or struggling I can assign that negativity to other parts of my life. Even if it’s unfounded. I also am superb at pushing people away. Fortunately, I have some very stubborn people in my life who don’t let me get away with that behavior. I also have a circle of women who have shared experiences, who when I’m feeling this way I can reach out to and they can set me straight.
This still can be a lonely journey. The people I rely on aren’t nearby. I don’t need to tell you how hard it can be when those moments hit and you’re alone. Lately I wear a lot of waterproof mascara. Not because I’m drowning but because I’m healing. With the healing comes those moments when you’re by yourself and it hits.
I said to someone there are times I feel like a bug in a jar.
There are other times I feel like the world is my oyster.
Not this week. If I’m being honest. I have a huge, life changing decision to make. It will have major impacts on me for awhile. It will all work out I think, I hope, but it’s scary. It’s moments like these that I wish my people were more than a text or phone call away.
But the point is… I shared it. With my people. In hacking sobs. Scared phone calls. Nervous texts. Before I cut the people who didn’t hurt me.
My hope for you Mommas is you have people in your life, at least one, who when you have those moments who can help you take the lid off that jar.
In the meantime- sending you lots of these <3