How did I get here?….
Ugh why is he taking so long.
I stared at the cement blocks that made up his wall. The bottom of his loft. The posters on his dorm room wall.
Wishing he had put me in charge of the music. At 20 I felt his obsession with Frank Sinatra aged him more. He already looked like he would into middle age. Thin, straight combover hair. Oversized square wire rimmed glasses. His standard attire was a polo, khaki shorts and a boring shoe. To really mix it up he wore a baseball hat. And aftershave. Too much aftershave.
Bored, bored, bored.
I just wanted to go home and shower. Who taught him to kiss? So sloppy. For such a neat freak he was an incredibly sloppy kisser. My first boyfriend really?!
His door opened. “Sorry rounds took a bit. Tina invited me to a party next weekend”
“That’s my birthday”
“You’re going home- we’ll celebrate when you get home”
We never celebrated. He had sex with Tina and dumped me via birthday card. I was too shy. I was too much of a free spirit. Tina he’d known since high school.
Tina didn’t make him work for it.
I didn’t cry until later. Surrounded by the girls on my floor. “She is definitely not nearly as pretty as you. It won’t last”.
They got married after college. He is a lawyer, she stays home and is raising their two daughters who they adopted from China.
Social Media – ugh.
I have always been a late bloomer. I didn’t kiss a boy until I was 14. First date 16. Did I mention my Mom hooked that up? Yes, yes she did. Because I wasn’t awkward enough. My Mom managed a restaurant when I got my acceptance letter to college and it looked like I wasn’t going to land a date on my own – she asked one of her many college aged hosts if they would take me out on a date.
I really do not want to know if she paid them. But one kind soul agreed and we went to the zoo. That will come later, I promise but it did not really equip me with the tools to deal with college boys. Seriously. I don’t mean that to be cryptic – it’s really not but when you have never dated, never drank, and go away to college without a car. Mistakes or not mistakes will be made.
We will get to that too.
Let’s get back to the scene of my first heartbreak. Did I mention at 20 this guy already looked like a middle aged dude. He did and on my gosh SO MUCH cologne. JESUS GOD. My face was also ravaged after a make out session. As an excezema sufferer his not shaved oily mug did some serious damage to my cheeks. Thank goodness we normally didn’t meet up until the weekends – gave my face a day to recover.
Ladies as a note when you make out with a man he should not kiss so wetly your lips are chapped. This is not how this works. Unless you are into that in which case – you do you.
As you already know we didn’t make it.
Let it begin…