I get asked all the time how I do it. “It” referring to working full time, taking care of a household, and raising four boys each with a different personality. I used to struggle and question my parenting style; for example do I parent like I was raised or do I parent like society says I should parent.
Then not so long ago I had an ephiany. I realized I need to keep doing what I’m doing. When my two younger boys, ages 12 and 14, are at each other’s throats, I try and remain calm and ask them what happened. Most of the time they talk and yell over each other and in the end I’m the one yelling. That is okay because after some self reflection I tell myself I will try and do better the next time.
The truth is there is a combination of things that go into how I parent, work full time and take care of my household. First of all, I pray for patience, patience, and more patience. Second, I do my self care routine. My routine consists of putting my kids to bed and watching TV or getting on social media. I also like to go to the tanner or go for walks with friends. I realized long ago self care is not selfish. I know I cannot be there for my job or my kids if I’m a hot mess. Humor is also a very important piece of my daily routine. I laugh at myself several times a day. Like when I’m looking for my phone while it is in my hand or when I am shopping and jump when I see my reflection in a mirror and say excuse me thinking it was another person.
I have to remember I am human and I am not perfect. Mistakes are made daily and that is okay, because I am blessed beyond measure and I get to wake up every day and try again. If I can tell myself at the end of the day that I put everything I had into being the best that I can be I know my kids will turn out okay.
Anne Smith- A Working & Single Mother