Don’t waste time. It took 3 years after my divorce to be ok and enjoy doing things by myself. I have always been a planner in my life, even when I was married I would always be busy with either my kids or friends. After my divorce, I would never be alone. I would either have my kids or make plans with my friends. For the first couple years, I was ok with not being alone and I had enough friends to make plans with all the time.
It was such a hard thing for me to overcome because my life would go from having 3 crazy loud busy kids to nothing…deathly quiet. No yelling, no fighting, no constant questions, and no one that needed anything from me. I was alone and it sucked. Your married friends will think it sounds heavenly, but the feeling really sucks. The feeling is so hard to explain when your life goes from complete chaos to a complete halt in a matter of hours. You wonder now what do I do… do I walk around Target for hours to avoid being at home alone?
I finally realized I could not wait for my friends to do things.. If I wanted to do something I should just do it. Then last summer I decided to buy a paddle board… It is a scary feeling to have enough confidence to do something on your own. I had many thoughts going through my head… will people wonder why I am alone, will I not know what I am doing, will I fall off and drown. No one will even know where I am… since I am alone. All of those thoughts went through my head. The truth is that people could care less what I was doing and why I was there alone. However, if you are someone like me—always with people—it is a hard step to take. I pushed myself to do it and I loved it. That’s the truth.
Now, I will actually say no to plans with friends, so I can have some time for just doing things by myself. Either trying out a new place to hike or going paddle boarding. I will actual plan for that time in my week and make sure that I do it. Life gets crazy and if I actually schedule the time, then I will do it. A year or two ago I would not have been able to do that.
If there is a hobby or activity that you are really wanting to try, you just need to do it. Do not wait for others to join, but try it on your own. Honestly, now I love the times that I have to myself.
Thank you for reading,