Your time is valuable… Its one of my favorite sayings… And I have to remind myself of this because it is valuable. You will never get that time back…
As I was talking to my friend the other day, she was mentioning how she had just met her friend Ryan. It took me a few minutes to remember who Ryan was and then it hit me… I said, “ Isn’t he the guy that you went on a few dates with and then never returned your texts or phone calls, why are you meeting him for drinks”. I still shake my head, but I have been guilty of it too…
Do not fill your time with emptiness. It took me a long time to figure out that I could choose my time. I could choose who I spent it with. I could choose what I did.
By emptiness, I mean do not fill your time with activities and people just to fill your time. Be choosy about the dates and friends that you keep in your life. Your time is valuable and it does not need to be given to those that do not appreciate you. It does not need to be given to events that you really do not want to attend. Or people that do not encourage you in your life.
I used to say yes to people and gatherings, just because I did not know how to say no. I was many times let down due to the group of people that I was with. Or I did not really have any interest in attending the event. I had to really start thinking about what I got out of it for me. It might sound selfish but its true.
Do I want to attend a party with 20 people that I do not know well and would end up making small talk? Or would I rather go for a long walk and watch a good movie… I had to start thinking about what I wanted in those times. Was I talking myself into going or was I excited about it…
About 6 years ago, I was completely committed to a weight loss program. I was 100% focused and was working my butt off to reach a goal. When I first started, I had to decline going to a lot of events or going out to dinner with friends. I wanted to succeed. I knew I was not strong enough to say no to all the temptations. Unfortunately, I had friends that did not understand and would try and talk me into still going out to get my favorite nachos or drinks. The “ohh come on its only one night”… It was incredibly hard to resist. I had to say no and some friends did not understand. The ones that did, offered other suggestions, like going for a hike or a walk. Those are the friends that I want. The friends that stuck with me and supported me to the end.
You should want to spend time with people that give you the encouragement and confidence that you crave. The ones that back you up when you need it and support you throughout life.
Its hard to get to that point in your life, where you are ok choosing what you want. Think about what you really want to do in your time. Think about who you want to spend your valuable time with. I am totally good saying “no” to something and in return doing something by myself that I really love.
Are you saying “Yes” just to fill the emptiness?
Do you really enjoy being with that person or are you just saying “yes” to be polite?
Does that person make you feel good about yourself?
Are you talking yourself into attending that event?
Do you want to go to a movie with Tony from accounting that has a huge crush on you? Or are you just doing it because you have no other plans on a Friday night?
I have to continuously ask myself these questions from time to time…because I know my time is valuable.