Tag Archives: Valentines Day

Another Day

Another day….

It is Valentine’s Day. Today’s song is a cover of Coldplay’s Yellow by Flor featuring Misterwives. No beverage. I might break into a Diet Dr. Pepper and treat myself.

This day is hit or miss.

I am sorry I am not going to sugar coat this. As someone who was in a bad marriage and an abusive relationship it’s tricky.

And probably not for the reasons you think.

I focus on my daughter.I have tradition… I always get her a card,a Russel Stover’s chocolate assortment and fun socks. I put her gifts out before she gets up.

Then honestly we can go on with our day. This year we test ran a teenage rom com for our weekend movie to get into the spirit and she liked it. 

Hallelujah! My kiddo loves anime which is TOTALLY fine but sometimes Mom needs a change of scenery.

I have never been a member of the Valentine’s Day sucks club and after I had my daughter and started teaching the under four set it definitely was a lot more fun.

But … thanks to social media it can be easy to join the club.

Oh my goodness so easy.

Like how do I get a card?

My ex husband was not romantic. Not even a bit. Which was hard for me.

I didn’t want bells and whistles but it’s hard being a heart on your sleeve lady married to a guy who sees things as numbers.

I don’t want a lot but a little goes a long way. 

Now there are a couple of camps around one’s attitude about all of this. This being Valentine’s Day…

“Celebrate all you have”. You are a strong independent woman. You have a great job. A great kid. Having someone is just a happy add on to an already pretty great life.

Yes 

100%

Then there is “hey you are going to be alone”. You and a bunch of puppies. With an extensive band T-shirt collection and no one to talk about the Foo Fighters album with.

Well… I do have friends. And my daughter…and I REALLY like puppies like that’s kinda goals. 

So…

Or

“Let’s all get houses next to each other and be modern Golden Girls”.

I mean… wait you’re married how is that going to work?

Or… how about this. We are all trying to figure out what we want and there are days I am that strong independent Mama and I got this and then  there are days I really want someone to hug me and say it’s gonna be ok.

And you know what… that’s ok.

We all have lived different journeys that continue to shape who we are.

Those journeys may mean if I don’t ever see a red teddy bear again I’m solid, but if a Foo Fighters T-shirt and some good coffee appeared on my doorstep I might be engaged the next time you read my blog.

For now I am going to try not to eat my kid’s chocolate, make sure I hit the after Valentine’s candy sale this week and focus on what I have. Besides, my eye makeup is really cute today. 

No tears. 

My wings are sisters not twins. It’s a Valentine’s Day miracle.

 

Much love Mamas

<3 Caprise

The Dreaded Day Of Valentine

The dreaded day of Valentine….This has always been a tough holiday for me. Since I can remember, I have struggled with being a single person on this day. When I was in college, I decided that I would start taking myself out on dates. I called them “Jesus dates.” It was just me and Him and we’d go and I would actually communicate with Him and treat myself to dinner and a movie. I continued these little dates about once a month or so regardless of the Valentine’s Day stuff and tried to value myself during these moments. It got me through young adulthood.

Then, as a full-on adult, still single with no prospects, I ran into an old friend who introduced me to a guy from another country. He was cute. He had a nice butt. I told him so. It was love at first sight.  I was in my 30s by this time. Our short whirlwind ended in marriage and our first Valentine’s Day was spent watching The Walking Dead. My husband bought me chocolates and he drew a picture for me. He drew the praying hands from scratch. He knew I was (and still am) a woman of Faith and drew the praying hands. I wish I still had that drawing. It was the first and last best Valentine’s Day ever.

Now, with about 10 additional years and two children in tow, it’s just me again. A party of one. With onesies… I have returned to being alone on this dreaded day, but I have kids now. They see everything.

EVERY. THING.

How do I navigate these waters without teaching them that I absolutely have no love for this holiday, for what this holiday currently means? I must decide every year to approach it head on for them. At some point, I’ll teach them the history, but in the meantime, I will have to show them how to love their peers and teachers. Last year, I bought my kids silk roses and mini hearts with chocolates inside. They turned around and gave the silk roses back to me when they saw I did not have any in my own hand. They shared their candy with me, too. The silk roses are still in my kitchen where they gave them back to me. This year, we went to the Dollar Tree and bought each of their teachers a customized gift. That was fun for the kids. It helped me not be depressed or angry this year as I pursue a divorce or reel from the loss of several friends or other significant relationships or jobs or what-have-you.

The Dreaded Day of Valentine is just another day this year. This is better than it being a day to look forward to hating.

~ALG~