Tag Archives: vacation

‘Getting Away’ Could Be Just What You Need

‘Getting Away’ Could Be Just What You Need….

As soon as the school year finished, we decided to spend some time at our cabin.  Just me and the kids for a few days.  I can not tell you what a difference just getting away for a couple days made in all of us.  The kids had been distance learning for months and I had been working remotely also.  This was the first place we had been away from home in months. 

I wasn’t sure that I even remembered how to drive a car… but it came back to me.   About ½ way to the cabin, I noticed how all my kids were getting along.  There was no fighting and 2 kids were playing a game together. I almost had to pull over to see this for  myself.   We actually talked and laughed at each other.  There were even parts of the drive that they didn’t have their AirPods in… shocking for teenagers. 

It’s amazing how driving a couple hours away from everything, can make me feel so relaxed.  I did not feel any stress and I had no worries on what might happen next week or next month…I also noticed the change in the kids from the moment we got to the cabin,  they were excited and so happy to be someplace besides home.  They were not constantly nitpicking everything with each other.  I forgot how it felt… how being up there felt like our normal routine… 

Nothing has felt like a normal routine for us in months.  Everything seemed new and uncomfortable, from my career to helping with schoolwork to no sports or activities.  It was all a strange unsettling feeling… Over the last few months I have been more anxious and worry some.  Everyday has seemed to follow the same routine but so many unplanned things happened.  Now just getting out of the car and seeing the lake and fresh air made all the difference.  

We had waited for months to get to go to the cabin and it finally happened.  As excited as my kids were to be there, I realized that they just liked the slow pace of everything.  There was no more learning assignments and google meets for them now during summer.  They also needed this time to just decompress from the last few months.  

I pictured them up by 8 am and out on the dock fishing. but instead the girls were nestled in their beds until noon. I pictured them swimming by 10 and soaking of every moment they could and doing a million different activities.  In my head, it was a scramble of getting as many activities in as possible during the day.  Why?? I have no idea, but I thought we needed to do everything.  Maybe it was because we had been stuck at home for months.    Instead my kids wanted to do everything at a turtles pace.  It was definitely at a lot slower timeframe than I had in mind.   

It would make me annoyed because I thought they should be fishing, swimming, playing yard games, or going for a pontoon rides in a certain time frame.  Crazy mom…. Instead they wanted to sleep until noon then they will go fish for a little bit and then come back in and watch TV show.  

I did not think they were having fun or enjoying themselves. I kept asking them if they wanted to go home. 

All of my kids said, why do you keep asking us that? 

I said “ because I feel like you are not having fun or just laying around”

They all said “we are having a great time this is what we want to do we want to relax and hang out”.  

Silly mom I was.. I thought they were bored.  Instead they were taking time to just relax and do what they wanted.  They were taking naps, watching movies, making bonfires, having snacks together… they were still having a great time just doing it at a slower pace.   We all ended up sleeping in later and then staying up past midnight watching movies many nights. 

Adjusting to how my kids do things has been a hard reality for me.   Many times I have to just let them do things how they want to do them and not push.  And  It’s very hard for me to not step in.  But I have learned they can be much happier and enjoyable, if I let them do it at their pace.  

And after it all…I realized we were having just as much fun at the cabin taking it at a slower pace than if we were rushing to do all these activities… and I felt so much more relaxed.  Plus, I got some much needed sleep. 

-snarky 

https://www.snarkydivorcedgirl.com/

Just a No-Bake Cookies Failure

I just inhaled three no-bake cookies that I had to scrape off the waxed paper with a spoon but I know you aren’t judging me. You get it.

I typed those two sentences nineteen times because my 10 year old is staring at me talking about megalodons and hunks of meat.  Honestly, this isn’t even weird.

The list of things that I can’t cook is very small. Sitting here now, I’m realizing that really the only things that I can’t cook are things that require patience.  The patience to watch things boil, to time it just right so that everything sets and melds and does whatever it’s supposed to do to turn out perfectly.  I didn’t get that gene.  I got the ‘you can always add enough butter, salt and bacon’ gene.  One gives you perfection and the other gives you something that’s a little bit different every time you eat it, but it’s always good.

Speaking of patience, lately I feel like the little bit that I did have is going fast.  I’m tired and more than being tired, I just don’t feel appreciated like basically every mother who ever mothered.  I’m exhausted.

Dad was in the hospital for over a week and he came home the day before the 4th of July.  On the 4th, I had a military retirement party for my ex.  Yes, I’ll go ahead and repeat that.  On the 4th, I had a military retirement party for my ex.  Moving on, that day I don’t think I sat down all day long.  I was tired- physically and mentally.  I was flaring and in pain- because fibromyalgia is like your least favorite relative who consistently visits at the worst possible time.  I was stressed- because… life.  But throughout the day, I was also the only one who could consistently be found, in the kitchen, just plodding away, getting it done.  It seemed like every time I looked for someone to ask them to do something, they were lying in bed.  I found myself wondering what I always wonder when I feel overworked and underpaid.  What would happen if I just laid down?

We know the answer to that, right?  I mean for starters, none of our guests would have been eating when they got here…

Moms, well women, keep the world turning.  We are the taxis, the nurses, the makers of makeshift critter enclosures.  We are the nurturers, the caregivers, the chicken soup makers.  We are the hunters and gatherers of backpacks, shin guards, lost permission slips…

We are supposed to do all of this without losing our shit.  When we repeat the same request 47 times and become unglued on the 48th repetition, they look at us like we are crazy and knocking on menopause’s door.  We are supposed to manage the home, a career, the children, the aging

parents, the extracurriculars, the bills and keep track of everyone’s everything so we can recall at a moment’s notice where you left your keys and we are supposed to do this with a pleasant disposition and a smile and no need to nap.

You really are the reason we drink.  Those Mother’s Day liquor store jokes aren’t really jokes.

Even though we do all of this and manage to keep everyone alive, clothed and mostly intact, for some reason, we are also masters of guilt.  Somedays we love every single moment of wiping noses, digging under the front seat for that super important Pokémon card that has turned up missing and cooking dinner that doesn’t get eaten because today you are a yogurtatarian.  Other days, we don’t.  We want to go on a week long vacation, BY OURSELVES, to a place where no one asks us for one mother-bleeping thing, where we can either sit by a pool guzzling fruity drinks until we forget we even have children, or lie in bed binge watching Netflix until check out time, as long as no one makes that decision but us.  And we feel guilty for wanting that.

I literally think women are broken.

On the 4th, I listened to my ex and my teenager do their typical, “Mom is so dramatic” schtick.  “I was just lying down for a minute, and Mom came in there about to have a breakdown.”  I take care of everyone.  Everyone.  Even my ex.  Who takes care of me?

That’s the lesson here, Ladies.  I take care of me.  I do.

STOP.  FEELING.  GUILTY.

Take the nap.  Take the trip.  Eat the no-bake cookies with a spoon because they taste just as good that way.  If stuff doesn’t get done, it doesn’t get done.  No one will die but maybe they will see how much Mom does to give them this life.  Maybe more than seeing how much Mom does they might actually see how much of us we give away.  We do it because we love them but we don’t have to be martyrs.  I need this lesson, too.

Let little Billy find his own Pokémon cards, but keep on kissing the boo-boos.

<3 LA

You can see more of LA at https://sweeterinthesouth.blog/