Tag Archives: thankful

I Need A Reality Check

I need a reality check…

As I write this as I do every week I am listening to music this week it’s NEEDTOBREATHE “Banks.”

One of the lyrics is “baby  you don’t have to do it by yourself. Want be there when darkness closes in to make the truth a little clearer.”

While I am an incredibly independent person. I keep quite a bit of my life private.

I have moments.

Especially right now in the midst of all of this. I gesture broadly. I begin to wonder as I watch the tenth  romcom on Netflix and  say I don’t want it, but really I do. If I ever will. Have it. That elusive kinda all or nothing relationship and maybe that’s a deep dive for another time.

I have moments where  I feel less than. Where the littlest thing feels like the biggest thing. Where I absolutely can not see that light at the end of the tunnel. Where I second guess everything.

Then the guilt comes. I have so much. More than a lot of other people especially right now.

But in this I have gotten to live in my head a little.

Ok, a lot.

I need a reality check.

There are so many things I wish I could take back. There are so many things I wish I could say. There are so many things I wish I had done.

I am heading into my fifth month of essentially wearing outfits that can be work or nighttime wear as I rarely leave the house.  I really can’t stand seeing my face on ZOOM anymore.

I started out with a pixie and now have graduated to a shaggy bob.

I’m really not sure if I will be able to wear shoes or jeans again.

Meanwhile, I am doing that thing you/ I should never do. I’m comparing myself to these women who are baking the banana bread, teaching their children French and look immaculate everyday.

I might be exaggerating a little.

We’ve been put in this fishbowl and now things I normally don’t see or wouldn’t see or don’t care about.

There they are.

In my face.  All the time.

But then out of nowhere while I am writing this very blog, having a gigantic pity party.

My taller than, me thirteen year old asks if she can have a cuddle.

She gets a pillow and puts it in my lap. She gets quiet. I ask her what’s wrong.

She gestures at the air.

“This.”

I hug her.

Suddenly I really don’t care that I have been living in t-shirts. I can’t imagine how she is feeling. Her school year ended abruptly. She couldn’t celebrate becoming a teenager with a big party like we had hoped. She sees her friends sporadically and when they do see each other it’s six feet apart with masks because we are in the part of the country where cases are spiking. Her new school year will be virtual. She won’t get to play the only sport she loves.

She has only seen her Dad once.

And in all of this you know what SHE did? She took my phone and put daily reminders telling I’m beautiful. I’m loved. She put post it’s on the mirrors with positive sayings.

She always says I love you. I get all the hugs I can handle.

Even during all of THIS.

THIS is something I continue to struggle to put words to. But I’m incredibly thankful for the amazing human that keeps it real for me.

My reality check.

No more pity parties. I am not less than I am someone’s Mom and that is definitely more than enough.

Much love Mommas

Be safe

<3 Caprise

Wake Up Call

Wake up call…One could say that I’ve been in a bit of a funk for the past couple of weeks. I’ve woken up every morning with no sense of excitement for what the day could possibly have to offer. Of course, being stuck in a house all day might not seem exciting for a teenager, but I knew deep down that this was not the source of my unhappy state.

I began to realize, that each day presented an “obstacle” that felt incredibly difficult to overcome. These minor inconveniences would shift my entire mood because I felt as though nothing could go my way. Although I am referring to these events as “minor”, it took me a while to view them in this manner.

It wasn’t until truly major obstacles began to affect the people close to me, that my entire mindset changed. Something clicked in me when these events started to occur, and the only way I could possibly describe it, is a “wake up call”.

In this moment, I stopped and reflected on my behavior in the last week. I realized the ignorance that I was demonstrating even though there was nothing to be upset about. The problems that I was facing were NOTHING in comparison to what people have had to go through in these difficult times. It was then, that I learned that we cannot let minor troubles get to us.

I am beyond blessed to have a wonderful family, a healthy life, and a positive upbringing. Unfortunately, it took some time for me to realize it. These recent times have taught me that tomorrow is never promised, and for that reason we must be present in everything we do, and try to enjoy every moment we have with those whom we love. I am proud to say that those insignificant issues that I have experienced, no longer affect me the way they used to. Now, I look at the bigger picture, and notice just how lucky I am for everything that I have been blessed with.

-Dani <3

Choosing Thankfulness

Choosing Thankfulness…Both of my children have the flu this week. Times of illness in the life of a working single parent are tough.  Which parent is going to stay home with the kids? Depending on what your work entails, if you are the parent that stays home your entire day’s work may have to be cancelled, rearranged, rescheduled.  Are you salaried or paid by the hour?  How does your employer consider sick days for the children if you are not ill?  Do you have a good coparenting relationship and can easily discuss logistics with your ex?  Or is your ex antagonistic and passive aggressive?
All of these layers further complicate days of a child’s illness for a single parent.
It is easy to get caught up in the challenges of the logistics on days like this.  But today I am choosing to be thankful instead.  Choosing thankfulness instead of anxiety or negative thoughts.  In my case I am salaried, so I am still paid when I am absent from work.  My employer is extremely understanding and accommodating.  So even though I have to reschedule about 10-15 appointments for every day I am absent from work, really I couldn’t ask for more from an employer.  I am thankful.
My ex is of the antagonistic/passive aggressive variety, so discussing logistics for schedules can be a challenge.  But today I choose to be thankful.  Thankful that I am able to stay home with my sick children, that I am the parent that gets to do that.  That I get to make sure they are snuggled and hydrated and feeling better.  That I get to spend so much time with them.  I am thankful.
I do not have any family that lives close by to help me during events like this.  I have never had that.  It’s easy to get caught up in the “I wish I had….” thoughts.  But today I am choosing to be thankful instead.  Thankful that I have good, close friends who check in on me, us to make sure we are feeling better and that we don’t need anything.  Thankful again that I have a job that allows me to stay home with the kids.  Thankful that I have good transportation, and the means to take care of the kids even without family closely.  I am thankful.
I am thankful that I get to be mom to these two amazing, loving, talented, intelligent, funny kids.  Thankful that I get to comfort them when they are ill.  Thankful for my job.  Thankful for a supportive community.  My hope in choosing thankfulness during these challenging times is that it will help me appreciate not just the good times, but even the challenging times.  Help me appreciate today and every day I am given.
H

Duct Tape, Bubble Gum and Waterproof Mascara

Duct Tape, Bubble Gum and Waterproof Mascara…

I want to sit here and write this blog and tell you everything is fine. Because I had promised myself that moving into this year I wouldn’t let anything get me down.

I wouldn’t get bogged down by things I can’t control. It’s March and the Universe has decided to see how much I can handle in the new year.

My finances have tanked. We will leave it at that. I truly am on the verge of losing my job. We will leave it at that.

My circle of friends that I can share this with is there, but they are all dealing with their own stuff and I don’t want to be that friend.

Throw in all the things that start to come with feeling down you start to pick yourself apart. You start to believe the negative talk. You start to compare yourself to others.

You start to do the very thing you promised you wouldn’t do.

I have said this before and I will say it again, the irony is not lost on me that I encourage others to be strong, brave, believe in themselves. That when people describe me it is kind, caring, and confident. Yet those are things I struggle to find in myself.

Everyday is a battle.

I am thankful that I do a good job hiding it or at least holding it down, I don’t want my daughter to lose her voice or not have one because I can’t find mine.

I am thankful that I am good at saying I’m ok when maybe I’m not, but am able later to pull myself together to talk it out.

I am thankful for recognizing I need a therapist. I know that may seem weird to say but I am. It was a scary thing to decide. It’s a scarier thing to share.

But everyday is a struggle. Right now more than ever. I am almost fifty and my life is not where I thought it should be. Not for lack of trying. I feel like I just got one piece of my life straightened out another piece gets taken away.

So here I sit trying to do the best I can. For myself. My daughter. I’m currently holding it together with duct tape, bubble gum and waterproof mascara.

Cause as you know Mommas that’s what we do.

Sending you love, if you need it I have an industrial package of duct tape, I will always share my gum and recommend a solid mascara.

Much love Mommas,

Caprise

Gratitude Is Like A Birthday Present

Is it my birthday

Gratitude is like birthday presents. It comes in all different sizes & packages. It comes from places you expect and places that surprise you. Some gifts rock your world while others look like they were a re-gift from the 80’s. Some are given with the fullness of authentic love while others are backed up with an obligation attitude.

To express gratitude takes effort. To stop in your tracks and have the thought is good, but then to speak the words… that takes a conscious act of the heart.

It could look like this:

A small size gratitude could look like a 20 second thanks while you’re running between errands and someone held the door for you.

A medium gratitude might look like a surprise as someone gives you a treat you never would’ve imagined, & you blurt out a laughter within the Thank You.

A large size gratitude comes from deep within your soul where truthful thanks exist. You take a minute to give an honest word of thanksgiving, you look the person in the eyes & you let them know you mean what you say.

The true spirit comes from a thankful heart. A heart who knows things could be worse, acknowledges it is exactly how it is supposed to be right now and it is GOOD. How do you do that you may ask….. What is there possibly to be grateful for in your tragic drama-full life.” You say. An attitude of gratitude can be practiced every day starting with little things, meaningful details, acceptance of mediocrity. A good way to get yourself in the mood is to start a journal and write down 3 things your grateful for every day and see where it takes you

Start here: ….. toothbrush & toothpaste, a hot cup of coffee, clean clothes, hot shower.

It could take you to a happy place you never knew existed.

Your God Girl,

Tracy

Welcome Spring

Welcoming Spring…we think rain, rain go away come again another day. It has been raining a lot lately, here in the Boston area. I remember when my son was little, he would beg me to let him go outside to play when it was raining. He would stand under the gutter spout and let it pour down on him. He would run around the yard in circles, with arms flailing, until he got so dizzy, he would fall. Laughing the whole time. Ah to be a kid again.

This thought has me stop. Right now. To put it on my to-do list “next time it’s raining…go outside, play like a little kid and bask in the glory of the rain”.

I sit here this morning watching the birds at the bird feeder, looking at the beautiful flowers popping up everywhere and I am overwhelmed with joy. If not for the rain…. We are blessed by the rain in so many ways.

Spring…with all the rain and the beautiful sunshine. It is a time of beginning, renewing, awakening. All that was asleep for the whole winter…. is now coming out to play. All that was quiet and inside and hunkered down is now up and at ‘em….living large.

The flowers, butterflies, bees, & dragonflies. The children with bicycles and roller blades and laughter. The gardening, lawn mowing and car washing. Things come to life in the spring.

Take the spring with all it’s beauty and treat yourself with love. As you awaken from a closed in state of mind, a shut out attitude, a tiredness you couldn’t seem to shake or a wonderful quiet and relaxing winter Welcome spring into your home, into your heart, into your life.

Let it rain.

 

Your God GIrl,

Tracy

Reconstruct Your State Of Mind

Reconstruct Your State Of Mind.

Imagine for a moment that we lived in a world where people actually understood that the words they speak go forward to create their future.  In that world there would be very little complaining or negativity and how peaceful it would be.  If you were to ask me what I thought was the most important lesson for you in this book my answer would be for you to fully understand that your words, thoughts, feelings and actions create your future.

What we spend our time thinking about, talking about, listening to, looking at, reading and watching all have great bearing on what is created in our lives.  Understanding this gives us great power.  If your current circumstances are unsatisfactory it is well within your reach to change them.  All you need is a little reconstruction coaching.

HINT: If you think it, if you speak it-

 IT WILL COME TO PASS

 

Direct Your Thoughts

Start to direct your thoughts to what you want more of instead of spending time thinking about what you don’t want more of.  Stop complaining about the things that aren’t working.  You have to acknowledge the things that aren’t working so that you can correct them; however, there is no need to complain to everyone about them as this will only create more of whatever the problem is.  The first step in this process is to merely become conscious about the words that you are speaking.  Are you grateful?  Do you constantly complain?  Are you always talking about what’s wrong?  Do you speak ill of others?  Do you praise and acknowledge people?  Do your words inspire people?  Do your words hurt people?

Once you have a clear picture of the kind of talking you are doing you can take actions to alter it.  Begin to sprinkle some gratitude into your speaking, talk about what went right for the day, make an effort to see the good in situations and speak about that.  You have the ability to direct your life and your future by directing your thoughts.  You can change your whole outlook on life by simply changing your speaking.

Fake It Till You Make It

In the beginning, doing linguistic surgery on yourself will be extremely uncomfortable as your thoughts will still be the same old moldy ones from the past and your new words will seem stupid.  This is where you fake it till you make it.  Feelings follow thought so direct thought — direct feeling.  After awhile your new thoughts will turn into new feelings.  For instance, you will start to talk about how successful you are and pretty soon you will feel like a success and then the circumstances for you to become a success will materialize.

Remember the movie ‘Field of Dreams’ when Kevin Costner’s character built the baseball field and he just kept saying it would work.  Everyone thought he was crazy and he just kept right on saying it would work and it did.  Real life is actually like that for those of us that understand Universal Principles.  You begin by speaking what you intend and then you start moving into the thoughts, feelings and actions that will bring it into being.  Lots of times in the middle of doing this you will appear to others as stupid and they may even feel sorry that you are so committed to what they think is a pipe dream.

Think of all the success stories you have heard, they all started out as an idea that had no background of obviousness.  Somebody had the thought and they backed it up with feelings and actions and they brought it into being.  So can you.

An excellent way to push yourself into new thought patterns is to do affirmations.  Find or write affirmations that talk about how you want your life to be and then spend a few minutes each day reading them.  I have been doing affirmations since I was 12 years old and these days I spend 20-30 minutes a day doing them.  I have included some of my favorites in this book.  An affirmation is a statement that affirms what you want to have happen.  As in:

-I am healthy.

-I am successful.

-I am losing weight everyday

-I am grateful.

-I leave behind old states of mind

-I create a future unlike the past

Saying or reading affirmations is a great way to re-train the mind into thinking things that will move you forward into a prosperous, healthy future.

A Little Gratitude Goes A Long Way

There are so many things to be grateful for and yet most people demonstrate very little gratitude for anything.  Expressing gratitude is the quickest way to bring good into your life as what you praise naturally increases.  In addition to changing your speaking and thinking, practicing gratitude is a required component for rejuvenating your life.  The very act of gratitude is regenerative to the soul.  For those of you that aren’t sure what gratitude or being grateful actually mean here are Webster’s definitions:

Gratitude:  a feeling of thankful appreciation for favors or benefits received; thankfulness

Grateful: feeling or expressing gratitude; thankful; appreciative

When you find yourself in a bad state of mind start mentally listing the things that you have to be grateful for and yes there is ALWAYS something to be grateful for.  Taking the time to think about what you are thankful for instead of thinking about what you are suffering from will allow miracles to occur in your life.

I remind myself to practice gratitude daily by making a list every night of what I am grateful for.  You can even be grateful for things in advance to help bring them into being.  I was grateful daily for my weight loss long before it manifested itself.  I keep a gratitude journal in my bedside table and I make myself write something in it every night.  This is another discipline that I force myself to practice and there are days that I don’t like this one either.  On bad days I feel hard pressed to get to gratitude so on those days the list is short, however it is still there.

Practice some gratitude and I promise that your acts of thankfulness will return to bless you many times over.  It is also a great idea to teach children the skills of being grateful as early as possible given that they are our future.

From the Inside Out

True and long lasting change will occur from the inside out and must begin as an idea.  Once you have the idea of changing you begin to put a plan in place and the workable plan includes changes in thought patterns, speaking, surroundings, company that you keep, feelings that you have and behaviors that you practice.  The first change occurs inside you as you begin to see yourself in the new way.  As you see yourself newly you begin to speak and think differently which will cause you to take different actions.  Inner behavior starts to change and as a result outer circumstances will follow suit.

It doesn’t work to try and start change from the outside in.  If you changed your outer circumstances without reconstructing your state of mind the changes wouldn’t stick.  You can only rejuvenate your life from the inside out as your current circumstances were brought on by your current state of mind.  Therefore, if you want to change your current circumstances you must first change your current state of mind.  Remember that creation occurs in the unseen (mind) and manifests itself into the seen (reality).  In other words, whatever you are creating in your mind with your thoughts and feelings will bring itself into manifestation.  If you think you are unworthy and poor you will create that.  If you think and feel fat and unhealthy you will create that.  If you have the power, why not just create yourself as a success?  A fit and healthy success that is.

Some of these ideas may be new to you and may seem a little strange, however I promise you that they work when properly applied as I have been actively using them since I was 12 years old.  I encourage you to do your own research and give them a try; it certainly can’t hurt to be positive and grateful, right?

~Noelle

**From Noelle’s book, “Practical Change…8 Ways to Rejuvenate Your Life”

Find Gratitude During The Holidays

Happy holidays everyone!

This time of year can be stressful for many people.

Today I am grateful I am home with my family and not in the hospital. Yesterday I was in the hospital with pneumonia and a blood clot. Thankfully my body was breaking it down on its own, the doctors gave me some anticoagulant to help it along and gave me the green light late last night to go home.

Even our darkest moments can are usually are blessings in disguise, whether we see it or not just depends on our perspective

While I was in the hospital, I became very scared. It was a time of self reflection for me and I realized some reservations holding me back in my everyday life. The biggest scare of the year has helped me shed things I was unaware of and get back to being me. I am grateful to spend Christmas with my children, and that I am here another day. No more reservations or second guessing myself. I know who I am and what I need to do to keep moving forward, so that when the time comes ( albeit I hope not anytime soon) I can close my eyes with no regrets. Much love to you all!

Always be unapologetically true to yourself,

-Ali Heikke

Being Grateful Even When You Don’t Feel It

Being grateful on those days and periods of your life where everything is just a perceived disaster can prove to be beyond difficult.

I spent a lot of my earlier adult years being pissed off at everything, huge chip on my shoulder for what I thought was the crappy cards I was dealt. Angry about my childhood and how much I felt it wasn’t fair, marrying my “high school sweetheart” only for it to fail less than two years after being married, not taking advantage of the opportunity I had to go to college, the list continues on. And maybe I was dealt some crappy cards throughout my youth, I made the decision to get married when we both knew it shouldn’t of been. I made the choice to not go to college at that point in my life. Somewhere along the years I decided that I was not going to continue feeling sorry for myself, it was a huge burden on my mental and physical health, relationships with family members and peers. I was lonely, depressed, angry, bitter, and hateful. My friends and family would avoid me and I knew it, at this point I didn’t know why but eventually a close friend finally told me that I was a “Debbie-Downer”(that’s putting it nice). She left that night and I was hurt, and still angry-probably even more angry after that conversation and of course it wasn’t my fault-it was theirs. Couldn’t they see that I had a crappy childhood?!? Didn’t they see that my marriage was a disaster from the get go?!?! I cried, I cussed, and everything else someone does when they are hurt and angry. And honest to God something dawned on me that night-this is not who I am nor who I want to be.  I needed to wake up each morning and be grateful for at least one thing, and write that one thing down, EVERY DAMN DAY! Grateful that I have the option to get up every day, grateful that I can write, grateful that I have something to write with, and something to write on.

There is ALWAYS something to be grateful for in each and every day. And maybe one day it’s making it another day-think about that, let that sink in. You are alive!

Love to All-Kim