Tag Archives: task

Make The Bed

The importance of good habits comes to mind after weeks of playing the effectiveness game, practicing good habits equals our kids picking them up and emulating them as well…so I have learned:)

When I was growing up my grandparents were really like my parents and my grandfather had a rule about making the bed, he was a Navy man who served in WW II.  As a child and even as an adult we were not allowed downstairs to start the day unless it was made. Made to his satisfaction that is, which meant made neatly and not just pulling a comforter or bedspread up over the mess from the night before.  Fluff the pillows, straighten the sheets, put the throw pillows back on etc.  MADE.

So, as you might imagine after years of training and trying to rebel against house rules…making my bed became an ingrained habit.  To my amazement it has also becomes my son’s habit, that kid does not leave the house until his is made up perfectly…every day, no matter what.  This is something that he started making important on his own, we’ll call this #winning for me!

Now let’s talk about what making the bed can contribute to you, a few years ago I saw a video that US Navy Admiral William McRaven did entitled, “If you want to change the world, start by making your bed”— I will include the link at the end of this post.  It is worth watching.  In his video Admiral McRaven points out that if you make your bed it starts your day with one task that is complete and that gives you a sense of accomplishment to go on and conquer other tasks for the day.  Very good point.

For me making the bed has always been about creating order and making a fresh start on the new day—as you know I am big on how you begin and end your days.  When you end your day by walking into a room with a messy bed that takes away your energy (in my opinion)— everyone likes to get into a fresh bed at the end of a long day.

It is the little things you do every day that contribute to a new reality, small changes done consistently over time net BIG results.  Darren Hardy wrote a great book called, “The Compound Effect” that talks about how life changing alterations start from making daily, consistent changes.

Take a peek at the Admiral’s video and if you aren’t already doing so…make the bed!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3sK3wJAxGfs

XO, Noelle

Keeping The Edges Sharp

Keeping the edges sharp…

If you caught my FB live last Sunday Morning (Coffee Chat, Sundays 10am EST) among my connection struggles you would have heard me talking about how we can avoid succumbing to apathy and complacency.  You would have heard me tell you about a conversation that my son, Antonio and I had that morning…we have an immediate family member that no longer has their kick-ass and take names mentality and I was saying to Antonio that for all that particular person had taught me in my lifetime about keeping my edges tight and being effective, I was at a loss as to how they got to their current state.  Antonio replied that he understood it and so I asked him to explain. He went on to say that when you have things that you want to get done everyday to feel effective and on purpose and then you miss the mark and have a bad day, it requires even more discipline to get back on the bus and once you don’t get right back on the bus it becomes harder and harder to do so until all of a sudden you turn around one day and your life has very messy edges or no edges at all…

The kid is right you know…let’s use my workouts as an example…I can be doing great, working out daily, getting it done, kicking ass and then I have an off day and I miss one.  Then I feel like an asshole because I am off track and so maybe the next day I don’t get it done either and then before you know it I have gone TWO weeks without a workout…and therein lies the story of the last 7 years of my life…pathetic in my opinion.

Sooooooooooooo kind of like the old adage about one step at a time, the question, “HOW DO YOU LOSE YOUR EDGE?” is aptly answered with one undone task at a time.  After the live I was talking to one of the 3 life-coaching clients that I still coach…(the 3 of them have been with me for over a decade now) and I was telling him about the conversation that I had been having on the FB live and he said, “yeah I get it.  I still have not unpacked my suitcase from the trip in November, I have baskets of folded laundry laying around to put away and I have a collection of dirty silverware in my dishpan because I hate washing silverware so I keep leaving it there and only wash the one fork at a time that I need (WHAT?!) (He lives alone in case you could not tell) and then I come home from work and just fall asleep on the sofa because I exhaust myself thinking about all the things that I am not getting done.  We laughed about it and he said, “I really get what you are saying about this, all these things are taking away my edge and making me less effective and they are such small things that I didn’t even notice…yet when I put them all together in a list it is quite a bit.”

And so it goes right?  All of us have these little things, the messy corners, drawers, closets, cars…the things left not straightened when we go to bed because we will ‘get it tomorrow’, the laundry left unfolded or in baskets not put away because we ‘don’t have time’—all these little things dull us just a bit every day—the too many cookies we ate, the workout we didn’t do, the trash we didn’t empty, the papers that we didn’t throw away…

On the FB live video which you will find on the FB page under videos I tell you about how years ago my Coach gave me an effectiveness assignment and I encouraged you all to do it with me…here is how it works:

Make a list of TEN DAILY things that you want to see yourself accomplish, ten things that if you did them every day you would feel like you were on top of your game.  The items can be as simple or as complicated as you wish…brush your teeth, make the bed, take your vitamins, workout, read for an hour…whatever YOU wish. Then make a checklist so that each day you can check off the task.  At the end of each day give yourself a score, if you got 2 things done = 20%, if you got 8 things done = 80%–you get the idea. Then at the end of each week look over the whole thing and give yourself a weekly average score— data doesn’t lie, this is a really great way to see just how effective you are being and also a great way to sharpen up your edges.  Go back and watch the FB live, I will be sharing my own scores with you weekly on Coffee Chat. See you soon.

XO, Noelle

What Makes Your Identity..You?

The term “identity” has become our most recent topic of discussion at school. What shapes your identity? What makes you, you?

Of course, when I started thinking about it, I thought this is one heck of a topic question to pose to teens who are just starting their high school years. Once you start growing up and meeting new people, you begin to question who you truly are as a person.

How you would introduce yourself to others.

What do you like?

What do you dislike?

Do you consider yourself an introvert or extrovert?

What makes you… well YOU?

Although it seems like a simple concept, this whole “identity” thing is pretty hard to figure out.

It’s especially hard for us teens when we want to be liked and welcomed by other people. Sometimes we struggle when it comes to being true to ourselves because we don’t know how others are going to perceive it. Take me for example; I am a young girl who has grown up in the U.S., but comes from a family of very proud “Latinos”. Thankfully I live in an area with lots of kids like me, but others aren’t as fortunate. I know that there are kids who don’t feel like they could fit in with the pure “Latin” crowd, but they also don’t really fit in with the “all-American” crowd. This idea of fitting in is something I guess we will all encounter throughout our life.

We are defined not just by our cultures but also our likes and dislikes. Incredibly, sometimes we’re even defined by those around us. Think about those movie cliches where the football player has a secret passion for theater, but he feels as though he doesn’t fit in either group. It might seem cheesy, but incidents like those occur all the time.

Finding out your identity can definitely be a difficult task, but once you start figuring it out, you gotta be proud of what makes you… well YOU!

-Dani

Getting Comfortable with Being Uncomfortable…

One of the hardest lessons to learn is to get comfortable with being uncomfortable.  There are times in our lives when things are simply out of our control, times of transition are like this as well as when someone close to us is suffering from some circumstance that we cannot fix for them.   It can be heinous to just have to SIT in all of these things and it is SO UNCOMFORTABLE!!!

So, then we start to get angry or sad or we want TO DO SOMETHING to make it different…yet it just keeps being how it is and we feel like someone put our skin on backwards…it’s maddening really how awful it is to SIT IN SOMETHING that we cannot control.  Not only are we unable to control what is happening, we also do not know what the outcome will be.  This is when you must rely on your Faith to understand that even when you cannot see, you CAN trust that all things are working together for good.

What we resists, persists…so the longer we sit there wishing it were different, the longer it will stay just as it is.  This is where getting comfortable with being uncomfortable can serve you well.  What IS, IS.  As hard as it is to get comfortable with how uncomfortable we are during these times, we must.  Our very sanity depends on it.  There is much peace and wisdom in accepting things as they are, this does NOT mean that you stop working on solutions…it simply means that you STOP using your energy to fight being where YOU ALREADY ARE!!!

WHAT IS, IS.  You are here in this place, be ok with that…learn to get yourself comfortable with the unknown.  I have been sitting right SMACK in the middle of this place since I stepped down from my corporate position on April 26, 2017.  I have been uncomfortable in ways that you cannot even imagine and I have developed a new skill set for being able to be comfortable with transition and the unknown.  This is no easy skill to master, it has taken me the better part of 6 months to be at peace with what is and to trust that all is working together for good.  I had some pretty horrible days fighting how uncomfortable I was and it didn’t help anything, in fact it likely took solutions longer to find me because I was so unsettled in my mind.

Being comfortable or being at peace with being uncomfortable is not for the faint of heart, it is a skill only available to those of us that are willing to put our trust in God and understand that everything IS working for our good even when it looks like shit, even when we cannot see, even when someone that we love is suffering, EVEN THEN everything is working for the good.  When you learn to be at peace and stop fighting how awful it all seems, you will see the good faster.  Simply do the next task in front of you and then the next one, do what you can with what you have available to you and learn to be OK with what IS.

Sometimes the lesson is simply to lean into what is disturbing you the most and be at peace with it, only then can things shift into another place…remember what you resists, persists.