Going to a counselor was the best thing I did throughout my divorce. I had always kept my feelings and thoughts to myself for years. Growing up I was always shy.. I didn’t like groups of people and I hated speaking in front of people. I dreaded college classes that talked about our hobbies or what we liked to do. I was just never any good at talking about myself. And I had poor self esteem and confidence throughout my younger years.
I had never really given much thought to going to a counselor.. I kinda thought counselors were for crazy people and they couldn’t help me with my problems. And then that day, I walked into a counselor’s office and spilled everything about my life. I struggled with my decision to get divorced for years. In a matter of 60 minutes, I felt like a heavy weight had been taken off me.. I will never forget when she said “ it’s ok to say you do not love your husband”. And that’s all I needed to hear… How could hearing that make everything that clear to me. It was now so clear. My life seemed clear. I was smiling. I knew what my future was and I felt like I had the strength to get there. It was just being able to openly talk to someone without any judgement and not feeling guilty for my decision.
Having that person that you could be completely honest with about your feelings and not feel judged was empowering. If would have not been completely open with her, then I would probably be still contemplating my decision. It takes strength and courage to lay everything out there and not know what you are going to get in return.
I continued to see her weekly through my divorce process and after. I still see her occasionally to check in. If I am feeling lost or struggling with something in my life, then I still see her to work through it. And every time it helps.
Without going to a counselor, I would probably still be struggling with many areas of my life. Yes, your friends and family are great to vent to about your problems and struggles.
But a couple things to think about relying on your friends… sometimes your friends can’t help you make the decisions. They can give you their perspective. And some friends can’t give you the honest answer you need.
Many times friends can’t give you the tools to follow thru on the decision. And sometimes we are just not as honest with our friends as a counselor. I know I wasn’t… And lastly no one wants to be the friend that always has problems…
If you are struggling with your life, marriage, divorce, relationship, then go talk to a counselor. People waste so much time in life contemplating decisions and trying to work past struggles on their own. I just feel that why waste time.. why waste more time in life struggling by yourself when a counselor can help you get through it.
No one should feel guilty or ashamed of needing extra support in their life. No one is perfect and we all face difficulties. If it makes you stronger, happier, and more content, then keep doing it!