‘Getting Away’ Could Be Just What You Need….
As soon as the school year finished, we decided to spend some time at our cabin. Just me and the kids for a few days. I can not tell you what a difference just getting away for a couple days made in all of us. The kids had been distance learning for months and I had been working remotely also. This was the first place we had been away from home in months.
I wasn’t sure that I even remembered how to drive a car… but it came back to me. About ½ way to the cabin, I noticed how all my kids were getting along. There was no fighting and 2 kids were playing a game together. I almost had to pull over to see this for myself. We actually talked and laughed at each other. There were even parts of the drive that they didn’t have their AirPods in… shocking for teenagers.
It’s amazing how driving a couple hours away from everything, can make me feel so relaxed. I did not feel any stress and I had no worries on what might happen next week or next month…I also noticed the change in the kids from the moment we got to the cabin, they were excited and so happy to be someplace besides home. They were not constantly nitpicking everything with each other. I forgot how it felt… how being up there felt like our normal routine…
Nothing has felt like a normal routine for us in months. Everything seemed new and uncomfortable, from my career to helping with schoolwork to no sports or activities. It was all a strange unsettling feeling… Over the last few months I have been more anxious and worry some. Everyday has seemed to follow the same routine but so many unplanned things happened. Now just getting out of the car and seeing the lake and fresh air made all the difference.
We had waited for months to get to go to the cabin and it finally happened. As excited as my kids were to be there, I realized that they just liked the slow pace of everything. There was no more learning assignments and google meets for them now during summer. They also needed this time to just decompress from the last few months.
I pictured them up by 8 am and out on the dock fishing. but instead the girls were nestled in their beds until noon. I pictured them swimming by 10 and soaking of every moment they could and doing a million different activities. In my head, it was a scramble of getting as many activities in as possible during the day. Why?? I have no idea, but I thought we needed to do everything. Maybe it was because we had been stuck at home for months. Instead my kids wanted to do everything at a turtles pace. It was definitely at a lot slower timeframe than I had in mind.
It would make me annoyed because I thought they should be fishing, swimming, playing yard games, or going for a pontoon rides in a certain time frame. Crazy mom…. Instead they wanted to sleep until noon then they will go fish for a little bit and then come back in and watch TV show.
I did not think they were having fun or enjoying themselves. I kept asking them if they wanted to go home.
All of my kids said, why do you keep asking us that?
I said “ because I feel like you are not having fun or just laying around”
They all said “we are having a great time this is what we want to do we want to relax and hang out”.
Silly mom I was.. I thought they were bored. Instead they were taking time to just relax and do what they wanted. They were taking naps, watching movies, making bonfires, having snacks together… they were still having a great time just doing it at a slower pace. We all ended up sleeping in later and then staying up past midnight watching movies many nights.
Adjusting to how my kids do things has been a hard reality for me. Many times I have to just let them do things how they want to do them and not push. And It’s very hard for me to not step in. But I have learned they can be much happier and enjoyable, if I let them do it at their pace.
And after it all…I realized we were having just as much fun at the cabin taking it at a slower pace than if we were rushing to do all these activities… and I felt so much more relaxed. Plus, I got some much needed sleep.