Tag Archives: strengths

It’s Time to Thrive, Not Just Survive

Time to thrive and not just survive..
Today was my son’s first day of preschool. I am divorced, and his father, and I co parent. His father brought him to school, and I had texted him that I would meet them there to wish him a great day.  My divorce was final two years ago, but I am still healing, and I never know when certain moments may trigger me.  I pull up, and I see my ex husband with his partner and my son. I immediately felt angry and anxious. I parked my car, and I had a pep talk with myself. “Amy, you’re loved, you’re special and you can do this.” I kept my composure, and I walked over to them. I said good morning, and I thought it was really nice when his partner went to wait in the car while we had our time with our son.
I am mostly ok in his presence, but not for long periods of time as our marriage was abusive, and I left three years ago today to create a healthier life for my son and I.
I sent my best friend a video, and I told her how happy I was that I was going to begin counseling again this Friday.  The thing is, I removed myself physically, and I have overcome a lot, but many emotions are still raw, and seeing him with his partner reminds me of the deception in my marriage, and how I feel robbed of the genuine partnership I had wanted; the real love that I fought so hard for, but it was never reciprocated.
It has been three years, and I realize for three years, I have put myself on the back burner. I have been going through the motions but not truly living. I am done with just living, I want to thrive. My marriage was fraudulent, but my son is the gift God gave me from it. I cannot be anything to anyone unless I am ok. Last night was the first night in a while that I went to bed at a decent hour. I am often haunted by nightmares, but last night I slept peacefully. I can choose to stay stuck or I can choose to face head on the issues that plague me often.
I want to be whole, I want to be who I was called to be. Yes, my marriage was a lie, but I have chosen to pick myself and do the hard work to walk with God and truly heal.  I am taking this special time in my life to do just so. I know many others have failed dreams, and are in pain. I too hope you will find the strength to be the best you and start thriving………not just surviving.
I hope you will join me as we thrive together!
~Amy
A Rhode Island native who moved to Ohio in 2004 mother to an amazing 4 year old son and 2 doggies. I love writing, reading, music, hanging out with my friends, French fries and animals

Damage and The Inspiration We Can Find Within

Damage….

Generally speaking, I try to focus on finding the good in bad situations…looking inside yourself for strength and finding your own way towards a better tomorrow.  Some days, though, I find myself struggling a little with that perspective in parts of my life.  Can you relate?

At some point, I realized that there are some things in my past that I will likely never fully recover from.

There are things that I have experienced that can’t be erased from my mind…can’t be erased from my heart…can’t be erased from my soul.  They may not affect me every day of my life, but there are certain key times that they rear their ugly little heads and cause me to re-live certain nightmares all over again.

There are certain sounds that trigger these memories…sounds that are common to television, movies and even some events with friends.  There are also certain stories and scenes from the same sources that cause the memories to flash through my mind.  I can’t very well run away and hide from life, but there are, without question, times that I would love to do just that.  I have come to realize that the proper support system in this arena is so very important to us all.

And the beauty in that is this:

I have always tried to reach out to the so-called unlovable.

I have always tried to have compassion for the bully.

I have always tried to hold understanding for those whose stories I do not know.

I have always tried to live my life with a healthy dose of grace.

In these things that have always been a part of my day, I find motivation to be better…a better version of myself…a better friend to others…a better model for my child.

In these things that I have always tried to live, I find a better understanding of my calling to live them.

So many people in this world get to know each other on the surface.  They come to friendship based on surface facts.  And when some life event unfolds in a way that catches them off guard, they run away before ever attempting to understand it.  So many people in this world define their love for each other in spite of things rather than because of things.
What if…what if we could all learn to love each other because of things instead of in spite of things?
What if…what if our pasts could be used to better know and love and look out for each other instead of as weapons and excuses against each other?
And that…that brings me back to the beauty in this all.
There are moments of pain in my life that I cannot avoid.  There are moments of the same that I cannot erase.  But these moments…are moments of opportunity and moments of potential for greatness.  These are moments sitting right in the palm of my hand, for which I fully control the direction. These are moments that I choose to learn from, that I choose to love from, that I choose to be better from.

We all have our moments.  What will you do with yours?

~Tanya

You can follow Tanya at http://sunshineandbluemoon.blogspot.com and, as always, make it a great day!

Personal Inventory Can Be Difficult But Must Be Done

Personal inventory

One of the keys to running a successful business is keeping an accurate and updated inventory. If a business doesn’t take regular inventory of their product stock, how much of what is or is not working/selling the business will quickly go bankrupt. The same holds true personally for us as individuals. If we do not take a hard look at ourselves in a fact finding and fact facing way we will be come emotionally, mentally and physically bankrupt. By doing this we can make a list of our strengths, weaknesses, character defects and resentments. By itemizing our selves we can go through and figure out what areas of your inner most self and external self need work.

An easy way to look at this is each and everyone of us is a brand, whether you want to launch your personal brand or not you are uniquely your own brand. A brand is much more than just a label, its everything we are. From how we perceive the world to how we present ourselves; the clothes we wear our personal beliefs, literally everything. Many of us have character defects that hold us back from tapping in to our personal potential, by doing a honest inventory and looking at it in a judgmental fact finding and facing process we are one step closer to no longer sabotaging ourselves.

First start out with listing all of your resentments, all resentments are a re-feeling something negative. Not just anger it can be shame, sadness or any negative feeling. Set it aside

Next list your weaknesses and character defects. Set that aside as well.

Finally list your strengthens

Now with the list of resentments you want to look over how each one affected you, did it affect your pocket book, ambitions,self esteem? What ever it is you need to find a way to move forward and let go, each resentment will hold you back.

Similar with character defects, except with just letting it go what can you do to fix these parts of yourself? Example, one of my character defects is people pleasing how ive worked on this aspect of myself is learning to put my self first and saying no.

Finally your strengths. I am a strong believer that our strengths talents and passions are directly correlated to our purpose here on earth. Zeroing in on these things and building upon them instead of trying to ignore and suppress them is the ultimate way to build a wonderfully purpose driven life

This is a difficult but essential step in developing and improving yourself and your life. Also you cannot do this once and just be done, personal inventory is an on going process, but its worth it.

Take it step by step and remember..

Always be unapologetically true to your self

-Ali