Tag Archives: standards

Single By Choice

One of the craziest journeys I have been on so far has to be choosing to be single. I was single by accident for a year before I chose to be single on purpose for another year before dating.

I made this decision to help in the process of bettering myself, and it has helped a lot.

Not only have I become comfortable being single it has also helped to weed out “guy friends”.

Some people never desire anything more than the thing or person they cant have.

So many of these friends found out I was single on purpose, and it went from a feeling of casual friends to feeling I had a target on my head. I’ve had to weed some of these friends out because the way they went about expressing their sudden strong interest in me was in no way appropriate and showed me how little respect they had for me.

Most of them would make inappropriate comments, one went as far as smacking me in the rear at work. It really opened my eyes to the fact of If I had not marked myself and my standards down over the years, I wouldn’t of ended up with the guys I had because I would have seen the red flags from miles away. Yes, whom I’ve dated Is 100% my fault.

For years I was pretty upset over what others have done to me, especially people that I have dated. Now i’m looking at everything with fresh eyes, I am the one who let them treat me like that, I’m the one who continuously held the door open to low quality men.

So for now I am still choosing to stay single, I am enjoying working on myself, and elevating myself. I will not have to save the person I want to be with, nor will they have to save me. That person when the time is right will understand what mutual respect is and what a healthy relationship looks like.

I am absolutely thrilled with my journey, even when the growing pains can get a little rough.

Happy and Thriving,

Ali

The Next Chapter In Life

I just went out for lunch with my  dear friend, whom I have mentioned before, and we had a lengthy discussion on the chaos that has continued in her marriage (which I have also mentioned before). I unfortunately have already been through what she is currently going through, many years ago,and I am about 10 years older than her as well. I guess with age comes more insight? LOL!

With all that being said, I had a lengthy discussion with her last week and finally convinced her it was time to get some counseling together, separate, and as a family. And at the very least, the state we live in requires mom & dad to go through a counseling program before granting the divorce, and that would put them that much further ahead of what was going to be expected if they divorce.

She came to me today, upset, scared, nervous and certainly not excited! She says she is scared that counseling will cause him to leave her once and for all and that she doesn’t want that to happen…she sees that as a bad thing. I see it as a good thing and I hope it causes him to shit or get off the pot. I am tired of seeing him put her and the kids through this……

She deserves to be happy to her standards, HER STANDARDS, not his or anyone else’s. And it’s ok if her standards are what some may call picky or asking too much because honestly who is anyone to say when it doesn’t directly affect them! I told her this is the time that she gets to end that chapter of her life and start the new one…that SHE and only she, is writing this chapter, the new chapter…

That goes for everyone, you are in charge of your story, and YOU get to pick who is going to be in that story. If someone thinks your requirements are too much, they can carry on. You get one life, why would you waste it living it the way someone else wants you to live it? Now I know that outside forces cause things to happen that are out of your control and cause the story to go in a different direction for a bit, I honestly do understand all that…BUT your standards and expectations of people in your life do not need to change based on that. NEVER, EVER! If you choose to listen to advice of others, it should be because you have made that choice, not for any other reason! If you have been writing your story based on everyone else’s choices for you, start your next chapter, today, for you!

Love to All-Kim