Tag Archives: standard

Single By Choice

One of the craziest journeys I have been on so far has to be choosing to be single. I was single by accident for a year before I chose to be single on purpose for another year before dating.

I made this decision to help in the process of bettering myself, and it has helped a lot.

Not only have I become comfortable being single it has also helped to weed out “guy friends”.

Some people never desire anything more than the thing or person they cant have.

So many of these friends found out I was single on purpose, and it went from a feeling of casual friends to feeling I had a target on my head. I’ve had to weed some of these friends out because the way they went about expressing their sudden strong interest in me was in no way appropriate and showed me how little respect they had for me.

Most of them would make inappropriate comments, one went as far as smacking me in the rear at work. It really opened my eyes to the fact of If I had not marked myself and my standards down over the years, I wouldn’t of ended up with the guys I had because I would have seen the red flags from miles away. Yes, whom I’ve dated Is 100% my fault.

For years I was pretty upset over what others have done to me, especially people that I have dated. Now i’m looking at everything with fresh eyes, I am the one who let them treat me like that, I’m the one who continuously held the door open to low quality men.

So for now I am still choosing to stay single, I am enjoying working on myself, and elevating myself. I will not have to save the person I want to be with, nor will they have to save me. That person when the time is right will understand what mutual respect is and what a healthy relationship looks like.

I am absolutely thrilled with my journey, even when the growing pains can get a little rough.

Happy and Thriving,

Ali

Double Standards

Double Standards…

I’m in my late 30s and I am single. I’m a great mom and I have my s**t together. I have never had much luck in the relationship department, but I do have needs. I am attractive enough to get attention, and yes, have some recreational sex sometimes. Men do it all the time, go out with friends, see a girl they like, start conversation, and after a few drinks and some making out, they end up in bed with someone. Their friends think nothing of it, they may even praise him for being such a “player”, they move on and is like nothing happened, no judgements, no consequences.

So take the same scenario, except replace the guy with a girl and all of the sudden the girl has a new name: “slut”.

Why is it that in this day and age a woman cannot satisfy her sexual desires without being given a label. I can put the blame on men, they use and dump, and then go around talking to their friends that so and so is such a slut. What I find more disheartening is that is not just men, women judge other women. Your so called “friends” with whom you share all the juicy details of your sexcapades, judge and talk behind your back. Then next thing you know you might as well start sewing a scarlet letter on all your “slutty” outfits.

Humor aside, what does it take to get rid of these double standards? I do not have the answer to this question, but I do know one thing, we as women must  stop judging and shaming each other. One’s sexual choices do not really affect anyone but oneself, and they do not change who we are as people. People have many facets, I’m still a good mom, a good friend, a good daughter, a good employee, but I also like to have steamy sex. Start by getting rid of these fake judgmental friends.

Be comfortable in your own skin and know who you are, not a slut, but a sexually liberated woman.

 

See you in the trenches,

Mythologywoman