Tag Archives: sign

Do You See The Signs?

Do you see the signs?

I have a friend who tragically lost his teenage son the week before my wife died. He’s the kind of friend where phone calls never lasts for less than one hour. When we get on the phone we can talk about anything and everything and it’s always a pleasure spending time with him.

I spoke to him yesterday. We talked about his son and Toni and how we know they are still here. He said that when he feels a chill he knows that his son is there with him. And he also indicated that many people he knows have a little bit more difficulty with aspects of such things outside the scientific realm. I said to him that that’s OK there’s no need to provide proof, he’s there because you say he’s there and that’s all the evidence you need. Those who have gone before, live in our memories. That much is certain. Everything else is open to conjecture.

Science is a moving target, not set in stone. Science has documented that our thoughts can affect plants. Years ago that was thought of as witchcraft. I studied geology in college and the theories of how the earth was formed and what it’s made out of have changed over the years based on new discoveries. So, what science says is true today, may be adjusted in the years to come.

I reminded him of the example out of the book ‘The Holographic Universe’ that describes how everyone has a hole in the center of their irises. It’s a blind spot in each eye that we all have, yet we never see a blank spot in what we see. What happens is our brain calculates and makes up what should be in that area instantly and in real time. So, even though we don’t know it, what we see is made up. Except that we say that, because we see it, it’s a fact, it’s real, it’s irrefutable. Not so. We experience the world through our five senses. We can’t see ultraviolet light, yet we can prove it exists. We can’t hear the frequency of a dog whistle, but dogs can. We have to wonder what else is going on around us all the time that’s invisible to us because of our limited senses? 

Many people have had the experience of feeling the presence of someone or some thing around them. We get signals through intuition. None of these can be scientifically proven yet, but they can help us be more aware to our surroundings. I know people who say that good luck is coming when they see a cardinal. Are they crazy?

I say absolutely not. 

I saw the first tulip popping up in the garden outside the bedroom window. I made that up as a sign from Toni. I can’t prove it. It may not seem like a sign to anyone else, but I say it is. And that makes all the difference.


Pay Close Attention

Pay close attention…

Have you ever thought of someone only to have them call you out of the blue? 

Have you ever wanted to see a signal or sign that someone is okay?

I believe that there are signals and signs being presented to us all the time and we are so busy that we don’t see them.

I can’t offer an explanation for such things, only that I have seen them so many times it is far beyond coincidence. 

For instance, when my mother died in 1997, I was anxious to be certain that she was doing okay. I told my wife, Toni, that I wanted to see a sign. She would point out when a cardinal came to our window or a red tailed hawk circling above the house, both of which were signs to her that my mother was okay, I told her I wanted a clear and definite sign. Well, the next day we were driving to Boston and Toni was reading an art magazine. I looked over and saw an advertisement one of the pages that was written in another language. In bold letters. one of the lines read SUH SE-OK. I’m sure that means nothing to you and Toni certainly see it, but my mother’s first name was Sue but she went by Susie. There was my sign clear as could be.

Sometimes when I’m working on project nothing seems to be coming together. Every time I try something it doesn’t work. Rather than forcing the situation I’ll stop to think about it and ask myself is there a reason this is being so difficult? Because it really shouldn’t be. Sometimes I’ll get an answer sometimes I won’t. The thing is, I have become more conscious of my surroundings and actions I take.

After Toni passed away three months ago I was feeling nervous and anxious about how I was going to make everything work on my own. I went to drive her car because it is been sitting in the garage for a little while. When I closed the door and looked up, there was a sticker that read ‘I love you’ and just below that was another one that said ‘things work out’. Immediately I was put at ease buy the messages. 

My purpose for writing this is to hopefully encourage you to live your life more consciously with the myriad of things you’re surrounded by. Look and listen more often and I’ll bet you’ll get answers that will help you too.


Do You Like Guacamole?

‘Do You Like Guacamole?…’ If you know what movie that’s from you and I might have similar senses of humor.

I wish more than anything that what I was writing about was funny.

But it’s not even close. So far from it. It’s five days later and I keep looking at my phone rereading messages trying to figure out if there was a clue.

I wasn’t even sure if I was going to write about this. But I will be honest with you all. I write in real time. If I’m writing about it, something happened. Aside from Fixer of Broken Boys series, events of the week always crop up in my blogs.

This one though.

I wish I could swear here. 

I’ve done a lot of that this week.

And cried.

And questioned.

Tuesday after work I get a cryptic text from an acquaintance do you still talk to  ****?

A bit why?

I didn’t want to share with this person we actually chat pretty regularly. My past experiences with them have left me guarded.


He passed.


The story changed a few times during the course of the text message so I said thank you. Put my phone down and took a moment.

I reached out to a mutual friend. It was true.

He had killed himself.

I said thank you for letting me know.

Put my phone down.

Reread his texts. 

What did I miss?

His social media account had gone silent shortly after, but it was not uncommon. His sassy sense of humor got him in trouble with the Facebook police on and off.

I didn’t think a lot of it.

Until I did.

Here are the things I need you to know.

I had known this person since I was five years old. I have always been a shy, awkward person. I was an easy target as a kid and even when some of his friends were the ones he stood up for me.

He was an enigma.

A conservative army vet with a liberal steak.

He was so smart. But I don’t think he thought so.

We lost touch and reconnected a few years ago and had lunch and dinner a few times and he could talk about anything.

He was intense.

He had a wicked and sometimes inappropriate sense of humor.

He always asked about my daughter.

He held my hand when after years of not seeing me I sat in a bar telling him about my current situation and cried.

He had a great smile.

He sent me taco memes.

Offered to kidnap me a few times.

He supported me being a girly girl.

If he cared about you he teased you.

He would give you everything he had if he thought you needed it.

He didn’t realize the little things he did had such a huge impact on all of us.

And for that my heart is breaking.

Our last few conversations were about of course my daughter, congratulating me on my new job and why I wouldn’t watch The Tiger King.

Typical really.

There are so many more things I could say. But unfortunately the saying  about the most positive people, the anchors for everyone they are carrying heavy loads of their own, it’s true.

One of our last conversations he teased me about something I wanted to say about the movie Stepbrothers but was afraid to. He of course said to tell him.

I wish he could have told one of us he was hurting.

But he couldn’t.

I have been transparent in my last few blogs- the world is not what we are all used to. And some people can handle it. But I’m going to be blunt. I have my days and I don’t have a lot of the other things a lot of other people are contending with. 

So that said…

Learn the warning signs 

Reach out

If you need help yourself :


I have no more words Mommas, my heart hurts because he is not the first person I’ve lost this way and it gets frustrating to not be able to do more or that you didn’t do enough.

Be safe

<3 Caprise