Tag Archives: self

Selfless Self-Care

Self-care. It’s a term we see everywhere nowadays. It’s sprinkled throughout social media posts, magazines, pamphlets at doctor’s offices, fitness facilities, you name it. Self-care isn’t a bad thing at all but today I want to offer perhaps a different perspective on self-care. 

Often times when we see and hear self-care being discussed and promoted it is in the vain of doing something alone and specifically for oneself. It can sometimes have an indulgent type connotation- getting a massage, taking a bath, reading a book, etc. Leisure activities that bring you pleasure and joy are definitely important and necessary to help keep a person sane. And exercising and eating well can definitely be positive forms of self-care as well. But what is often not discussed is a SELFLESS approach to self-care. What do I mean by that?! I mean, what if self-care looked like you moving outside of yourself to care for someone else and set aside your own wishes/desires/time and resources? Often times self-care is self-focused. And sometimes it needs to be, but I’d argue it’s just as important for our self-care to be selfless at times and focus less on us and more on others. 

There have been so many instances where I’ve found that when I am feeling tired and stressed and just downright depleted, but I do an act of love or service for another person, it brings me great joy and reignites me. It helps me refocus and stop feeling down about my circumstances and stress. Sometimes the last thing you want to do is run an errand for a friend or make a meal for a new mama or visit your elderly grandma BUT when we work up the gumption and just do it, we come away feeling blessed, rejuvenated, and so grateful we did it. Why is this?! I think it’s because we as people are designed to not always be so self-focused. We are designed to give and serve others. When the focus is off of us for even just a few hours, it gives us perspective and helps us re-focus on what truly matters. 

Selfless self-care Is SO good for our mental, spiritual, and physical health and well-being. Next time you are feeling totally worn out and stressed out, perhaps find a way to serve someone around you, whether it be at work or in your community. Sometimes the moving outside of ourselves and our own circumstances is exactly what our hearts and souls need to thrive!

Meghan Meredith
HomeBodySoul, Founder
Certified Health & Wellness Coach
Certified Personal Trainer
Connect with us!

PollyAnna, Rainbows, and Unicorns

PollyAnna, rainbows, and unicorns…

Not at my house.

You see….

I was not that girl.  I did not wear pastels never mind purple, green or orange.  Nope.  AND… you wouldn’t have found any lace, doilies or ginghams in my closet, never mind anywhere in my house.

I was that gold Lamé girl in the 80’s.  The stilettos, blingy dress and BIG hair.  My girlfriends and I… oh we turned it on!  Always all dolled up when going into the city to dance the night away.  We challenged each other to see who would be asked first to dance.  And boy did we have fun!  I remember one night we ended up in a limo on our way to the most glamorous party we’dever been to.  Another time, I remember when we’d go to our favorite dance studio, the bouncer would say… “Here comes the Blonde Cloud.”  It was true & a little bit funny.

Over the past 30 years I have changed drastically.  I no longer own gold Lamé, sequence tops or hot pink suits.  My closet and personality have tamed.  I think as a result of me being more grounded in who I am, having more confidence, falling in love with my personality and ‘being with’ what I’ve got right here, I’ve mellowed out.  I no longer need that kind of attention, have to be the leader of the pack nor be in charge of it all.

In my humble abode, I live in jeans, earth tones, simple lines, a lot of halters in the summer and big cozy sweaters in the winter.  I still pull out an elegant look and heels for a night out, and when it’s all said and done…up goes the hair in a messy bun.

As for PolyAnna, Rainbows and Unicorns, they visit once in awhile and bring out a side of me I never used to let show.  I gotta say…I am glad when they do.

xoxo

Your God-girl

Tracy

Finding Peace That Will Last

Finding peace that will last…
I kept picking up my phone. I would open my text messages and read through the last few conversations. I opened Facebook and scrolled through the 2 or 3 new posts that had popped up. I set my phone down and picked it back up a few minutes later to check Instagram, then iMessage again, and then Facebook. The process continued with shorter and shorter intermissions. I knew I couldn’t get what I needed from any of those sources, but persistently I kept checking to see if they would soften the discontentment I felt.
Many times we can find ourselves searching for answers and fulfillment from trivial sources. The trap of looking to ease our boredom or aching in social media, shallow communication, exercise, or other external source threatens to leave us with a gaping hole that is ever-widening. Maybe, like me, you have tried running off your anxiety or suppressing the pressures of life with coffee dates and meme banter. These things, and the countless others we can reach for, can certainly pacify us but they are unable to fully satisfy. When used incorrectly they just add noise to the chaotic rumblings of our needs, wants, responsibilities and the demands placed on us.
We need a peace that can sustain us, outlast the uncertainties that come up in life, and override the chaos.  Finding peace like that is not an easy task. Lasting peace can’t be manufactured. It can’t be uncovered in a self-help book. Peace like that only comes from within us. Deeply rooted in our identity, a peace that persists can only be found when our value isn’t rooted in our failures or accomplishments, or anyone else’s for that matter.
It is through my faith in Christ, that I have found it possible to have that unfailing peace. He provides stability that I am unable to conjure on my own. No matter how many self-care tips I have tried, He has succeeded where I have failed. When I have found myself anxious and searching for security, I have begun self-assessing.
1, Where am I placing my worth and value?
2. Why isn’t that person or thing able to carry the weight of my self-perception?
3. What areas do I need to use self-control and mindfulness to place my worth and value in a lasting source?
I always come back to the familiar conclusion that my value was being placed in something or someone other than Christ. It is in those times that variability of my own performance or my lack of control over someone else creates undue stress and anxiety. These stress are quickly eliminated when I shift from controlling the things I was never meant to. Instead of trying to control people, I use self-control to challenge my perceptions. Instead of trying to control situations, I use mindfulness and intentionally choose to trust God’s plan and purposes. It is hard, but when I engage in the process it produces lasting peace.
Shon W

Give To Yourself

Give to yourself, your best friend should love you!

Okay, full disclosure here: I have an unhealthy attachment and find an insane amount of joy in random memes. A teen in my life tells me this is a sure sign that I’m a middle-aged mom. So be it. It delights me to surf the web for trite inspirational quotes, sarcastic jokes and other random silliness. Yesterday I came across one that sparked an entire conversation in my head. This meme, a quote from Harvey Specter (main character in the show Suits), read as follows:

“Ever loved someone so much you would do anything for them? Yeah, well, make that someone yourself and do whatever the hell you want.”

Yeah. That. That’s it – the key to happiness in one little meme.

Seriously. Think about it. How many days do you spend all day at work and all-night doing things for other people? If you’re a parent, that’s pretty much your life. Someone asked me recently what I do for me – to take care of myself. My answer, I’m somewhat ashamed to admit, was, “I sleep a few hours a night, I get calories of some sort in my body each day and I drink coffee.” Eek. Hard stop, people. If your answer to that question is anything like mine, it’s time to heed Harvey Spector’s memewords!

Think back to the last time you did something for yourself. Maybe it was a day at the spa or a decadent bubble bath. Or cramming the last piece of cake in your mouth when the kids weren’t looking. (What? Am I the only one?) How did you feel after that? Don’t say guilty. Think about your joy receptors – did you feel good? C’mon – some part of you was happy in that moment. And I bet you were a little nicer to your family or a little more compassionate toward your coworkers afterwards. If your self-indulgence was on a grand enough scale, it might have even spilled over into other things – made you more productive for a little while or gave you the pep in your step to go the extra mile with a project.

It’s like this: If you take care of you, you’re better at life and better for those around you. All too often we forget this little factoid.

Whenever I’m facing a tough decision, I have a friend who will ask me, “What would your best friend tell you to do?”. The underlying message being, my best friend wants me to be happy and wants what’s best for me. As a working mom, I’m usually too busy thinking about my son or my work to think about me. So I have to trick myself into doing it. Wrap your brain around that. I have to role play to figure out what will make me happy. (I’ll pause while you laugh.) But I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one who can use this. That’s why I’m writing today.

Love yourself enough to make yourself happy. Be your own best friend. Block out time on your schedule to spend time with that friend doing what they want to do. I promise – the rest of it – your family, work, whatever – it will follow. And it will be better for having a happier you involved in it.

 

~Cassandra

The Mask Which She Hides Behind

The mask I wear can disguise my pain. It can change my appearance. I wear it to fool those around me.  I wear it to help me make it through the day.  I wear it but it’s not the real me.  It lets me hide behind a smile. It lets me keep you at bay. The mask I wear lets the demons to view the world. I wear it to pretend the pain is not real. The mask is an illusion.

The world is full of precious souls wearing masks to hide the pain. ~ Alfa

I have worn for so long that I sometimes forget my true self. I have worn for so long that it I sometimes forget it is not me. I have worn  for so long that it is hard to leave it at home. I have worn for so long that I am afraid to face the world without it. I have worn the mask for so long because it felt safe. I have worn it for so long.

So tired of it, yet I’m still wearing it.

Can you see me? Can you see me behind the mask? Can you see the sadness behind the smile? Can you see the worry in the lines of my face? Can you see the exhaustion around my eyes? Can you see, really see me?

You hide behind the mask. That is your skin. Your eyes are the only portal that reveals the demons within. ~ e.m.

I wish I could go without, but the demons are in charge. I wish I could go without, but the pain is so near the surface. I wish I could go without, but I don’t want to burden you. I wish I could go without, but my warrior is chained. I wish I could go without the mask, but I am just not ready to show the world all of me.

The mask will stay with me to hide my pain. The mask will stay with me to keep you at bay. The mask will stay with me to get me through my day. The mask will stay with me until I go to bed each and every day. The mask will stay with me until the warrior is ready to rise again. The mask is an illusion.

 

~ Kellie

Working each day to be the warrior and leader I know is within me. You can follow me at https://wordpress.com/view/leaderofthepacks.blog