Tag Archives: self love

Permission Slips

Do you remember permission slips from school?  I remember them from High School.  I would get a permission slip to be excused from Math class so I could work in the Principal’s office.  I’m not sure if it was because I was an ‘A’ student in Math or because I was the Principals favorite, but nonetheless, it was always fun.  I would go get kids out of their classes, because the Principal wanted to see them, file piles of documents that the secretary couldn’t get to and eavesdrop on grownup school conversations. 

Today, though, I’m talking about giving ourselves permission slips.  I have been doing that a lot lately.  I give myself permission NOT to finish something I’m working on, or to take a day off from working in the garden, or most recently to go home ‘sick’ from work.  I was brought up with the old school attitude of “If you need something done, do it yourself”, “the only way to be accomplished is to DO-GO-BE”, “I am woman hear me roar”.  

I’ve noticed as I get older that I don’t always have to be DOING, ACCOMPLISHING, FINISHING.  I don’t have to be the best of the best, every day.  My favorite saying when I was in my 20’s was “Do you want to be the steamroller or do you want to be the pavement?”  Back then, I was the steam roller.  And back then, I was proud of it.

Now, I don’t sing that song at all.  I’m learning that my health is more important.  Taking care of me and stopping halfway through a day in the garden because my back hurts is plenty enough reason to call it a day.  I still need to give myself permission to stop so I don’t feel like a failure.  Quitting was not an option when I was younger and changing that conversation takes me paying attention to it and giving it up to a new conversation.  Again.  My success looks & feels different these days.  It takes practice to give myself permission to slow down, stop & rest.

One day it will be habit.   And I will no longer have a need for permission slips.


Your God girl


Selfless Self-Care

Self-care. It’s a term we see everywhere nowadays. It’s sprinkled throughout social media posts, magazines, pamphlets at doctor’s offices, fitness facilities, you name it. Self-care isn’t a bad thing at all but today I want to offer perhaps a different perspective on self-care. 

Often times when we see and hear self-care being discussed and promoted it is in the vain of doing something alone and specifically for oneself. It can sometimes have an indulgent type connotation- getting a massage, taking a bath, reading a book, etc. Leisure activities that bring you pleasure and joy are definitely important and necessary to help keep a person sane. And exercising and eating well can definitely be positive forms of self-care as well. But what is often not discussed is a SELFLESS approach to self-care. What do I mean by that?! I mean, what if self-care looked like you moving outside of yourself to care for someone else and set aside your own wishes/desires/time and resources? Often times self-care is self-focused. And sometimes it needs to be, but I’d argue it’s just as important for our self-care to be selfless at times and focus less on us and more on others. 

There have been so many instances where I’ve found that when I am feeling tired and stressed and just downright depleted, but I do an act of love or service for another person, it brings me great joy and reignites me. It helps me refocus and stop feeling down about my circumstances and stress. Sometimes the last thing you want to do is run an errand for a friend or make a meal for a new mama or visit your elderly grandma BUT when we work up the gumption and just do it, we come away feeling blessed, rejuvenated, and so grateful we did it. Why is this?! I think it’s because we as people are designed to not always be so self-focused. We are designed to give and serve others. When the focus is off of us for even just a few hours, it gives us perspective and helps us re-focus on what truly matters. 

Selfless self-care Is SO good for our mental, spiritual, and physical health and well-being. Next time you are feeling totally worn out and stressed out, perhaps find a way to serve someone around you, whether it be at work or in your community. Sometimes the moving outside of ourselves and our own circumstances is exactly what our hearts and souls need to thrive!

Meghan Meredith
HomeBodySoul, Founder
Certified Health & Wellness Coach
Certified Personal Trainer
Connect with us!

Beauty Means Be Yourself

Beauty means be yourself. 

Coco Chanel is quoted as saying “beauty begins the moment you decide to be yourself.” In a world where we can’t decide what we’re ok with, that can be a slippery slope.

I have written about this before. On one hand society says to embrace your flaws on the flipside when women share pictures of themselves without makeup it gets picked apart. Or conversely when women wear makeup they can be judged. I can’t tell you how many memes I saw about how quarantine was going to force women to be natural and all the jokes.

I recognize it should not matter.

But it does.

You feel it.

I feel it.

I felt when I was really little.

I try to shake it and I have friends who say, why do you care what someone thinks of you. 

Maybe because what I worry about is such a big part of me.

I was born two months premature. As a result I have always been the smallest. My hair & nails don’t grow like I’d like. I had a hole in my heart which meant two open heart surgeries. But the thing that I worry you will notice. 

That I don’t like to talk about.

Are my teeth.

I never got my adult teeth. The teeth that did come in were my baby teeth, but they were incredibly small and … pointed.

The name calling started pretty early on.

I think it was kindergarten or first grade walking home from school there were some older girls who would call me jaws and witch face.

My chin was pointy. There was concern about how this would impact my jaw growth.

I never smiled showing my teeth. I dreaded picture day at school because the school photographer would always try to get me to show my pretty smile. Thankfully my teachers would step in. I was already shy. My situation with my teeth, just added to it. Glasses at eight.

It felt like a lot.

Then my parents found a pediatric dentist. Dr. Wilson. At twelve I got my first pair of dentures. I had to take a few weeks off of school. I had to relearn how to eat. Talk.

When I went back to school I was a novelty of sorts. I leaned into it. For the first time in a long time I was not picked on. 

I also abused the power of the dentures. I totally used them to torment my younger brother, I know… Trust me, I know.

However- a twelve year old with dentures is still unusual and I ran across situations where I was reminded of that, even by adults.

I found solace in my situation with humor. Like sneezing. Hear me out. The first time I sneezed (I’m not a dainty sneezer FYI) my dentures flew across my bedroom and hit my bedroom wall.

I erupted in a fit of giggles. Only able to point at them on the floor when my Dad asked what was wrong.

I floated along still not knowing how to smile. Still not  always feeling comfortable smiling.Things I still worry about… my breath and eating. I always worry that it’s not my smile that will give me always but how long and awkward it can be for me to eat. I have overdentures. To make sure my jaw grew properly not all my teeth were pulled. So my dentures rest on some teeth and metal posts. As a result depending on what I’m eating it can be tricky. Then I worry about my breath because of that. 

Then came my first kiss. For the record. And this has been my experience… men could care absolutely less.

For real. 

When I started college and had my first real boyfriend he kinda shrugged his shoulders. It was my roommate who was squeamish.

Around the time I was twenty seven I began to have problems with my dentures. So I needed to find a dentist. My first experience I remember being in the waiting room and hearing two of the hygienists talking about my case. I was called odd, “can you imagine” one said, when they called my name and I stood up I said “I’m good” and walked out.

It took two years before I worked up the courage to go to another dentist. I sent an email to two dentists in our area. Both sent me very kind emails back but it was my guy Dr. Hazen who got my first and last visit. His whole team made me feel welcome. When he gave me my new set of dentures we both cried. We still get teary when we see each other. I am not as  embarrassed by my teeth anymore. I still haven’t figured out smiling with teeth. It feels odd to me. There are certain things I am still worried about.

I still have friends who ALWAYS comment on how perfect my teeth are. 

And my dream is implants, but financially I just can’t. But for now I have something in common with my pals who played hockey, can still gross out my little brother and get a bit nervous when I sneeze. 

I focus on the humor. I deflect. 

Maybe I’m a little extra.

I hyper focus on certain parts of me in hopes that you won’t notice my teeth are plastic.

But then …

I think how lucky I am to finally be able to show my pretty smile when asked by a photographer.

Self love is tricky.

Being yourself is hard sometimes and  not for the reasons you think.

I’m working on it.


Much love

Much kindness 

And be safe Mommas


TWSM Book Review ‘An Invitation To Self Care’

“An Invitation To Self-Care” by Tracey Cleantis

An Invitation to Self-Care by Tracey Cleantis is a deep dive into taking good care of ourselves. Cleantis explores self-care in many areas of life — body, mind and emotions, relationships, finances, work, and play. The book includes exercises for assessing your current level of self-care and making plans to up your game. 

Tracey Cleantis is a licensed marriage and family therapist and the author of the critically acclaimed book The Next Happy: Let Go of the Life You Planned and Find a New Way Forward. She includes examples from her own life in her books, which help to make them accessible and humorous. As she says, “Even french fries and facebook have their place.” 

An Invitation to Self-Care uses 7 key guidelines 

  1. Self care is a daily lifelong practice 
  2. Self-care is self-love 
  3. Self-care means taking personal responsibility 
  4. Self-care means noticing what matters to us 
  5. Self-care requires attention and responsiveness 
  6. Self-care must be realistic to be effective 
  7. Self-care precedes self-fulfillment 

Here are some of my favorite quotes from the book: 

“To engage in self-care is to admit that you are a human being with limited energy and resources, and a fragile body that has an expiration date.” (Part One, Chapter Two) 

“You may be responsible for all kinds of jobs, tasks, and people, but ultimately what you are really and truly responsible for is your own well being.” (Part One, Chapter Two) 

“Knowing and responding to your introversion or extroversion will likely mean modifying your self-care based on what feeds you uniquely.” (Part Three, Chapter Five) 

An Invitation to Self-Care is about reflecting on how you learned to take care of yourself, how well you are doing that now, and how you can nurture yourself more deeply going forward to increase your health and happiness. If you are looking for a 15-minute read that will change your life, this isn’t it. By the way, please let me know if you ever find that book, because I don’t think it exists! I recommend that you take An Invitation to Self-Care one chapter at a time and see how you can use it as a valuable self-care tool on your journey.

Rating 4 out of 5 stars 

Copyright 2017 by Tracey Cleantis 

Liz is a technical writer by day and a humor writer by night. She lives in Minnesota with her younger daughter and their cats, Beau and Phoebe. When Liz is not reading, writing, or searching for new books to review, she can be found practicing yoga or enjoying time with friends and family. She is savoring the time that she has left before her younger daughter flies from the nest, yet she is also secretly looking forward to a time when she can travel more and not worry about anyone borrowing her socks.

I Will Begin To Love Myself First

Love myself first?  I hear this phrase often…

“In order to love others, you must love yourself first.” 

What does that even mean anyway?  Right?! 

It means Just Love YOU, that’s what it means.  You.  Yes, YOU.

Have you ever sat with that?  I mean really sat with that.  Love Myself First.  Close your eyes and reflect on how much you love YOU.  What do you say to yourself?  What and Who do you see when you look in the mirror?  How do you speak about yourself to others?  Sit.  Eyes closed.  Ssshhhh.

I remember when I was younger, and obviously not loving ME very much…. If someone would compliment me, I’d make light of what they said.  I’d respond with “oh this dress is so old.” or “this lipstick is really not my color” or I’d think in my head that they have NO IDEA what they’re talking about?  Now Jennifer Aniston…she’s beautiful….but me?  You got the wrong girl.  

Now?  Decades later.  Oh, I hold my head high.  Confidence runs through my veins.  I AM gorgeous, gifted, courageous, vivacious….etc etc etc.  🙂

What about you? 

Did you grow up on Insecurity Street or Anxiety Avenue or better yet did you live in the Aint No Cute Girls Around Here Village, like me?

If you did…it’s a new day and it’s time to claim a new address.  Make one up.  Heck, maybe we should put our new addresses in the return address section on our mail from now on?!  That’d shake things up.  She’s A KnockOut Avenue, Gorgeous Circle or Beautiful Babes Boulevard.

It’s time to take loving yourself seriously.  No more belittling other’s compliments about you either.  No more demeaning your success, accomplishments, beauty, talents, etc etc etc.

No More of that!  

Sit with Love Myself First again.  Close your eyes and repeat some wonderful things about you over and over and over.  Let the tears fall.  Let the grin grow.  Let the blood flow.  Let it sink in.  

How’s it feel?  Pretty good huh? 

Write them down and then…………..do it again tomorrow.


Your God-girl


Independence Day

Independence Day

I am currently sitting on my front porch enjoying the sun, heat and breeze today is giving me. I wish it was me enjoying those three things with my family but the state I live in is seeing a spike in cases and where my family is,it’s the same

So instead I’m pretending I’m on vacation which right now is tricky because my neighbor is outside with her partner and he’s going all in and showing her some exercises. Meanwhile I’m sitting drinking fake cocktails in cutoffs.

It’s the 4th of July. Normally we’d be going somewhere. Instead here I am.

When I write these, music always plays in the background. This week it’s songs from Hamilton which I finally got to see.

I was all set to write to you about the things I’m celebrating my Independence from, but I’m not sure how relatable they are, and do you really want to hear about how during a pandemic I thought it  would be a good time to give up my last vice? Margaritas… and how I have been on a failed quest to find a fun substitute.

How because I still can’t go get my haircut I tried to cut the back myself and my daughter had to help me fix it.

How even though my person is only fifteen minutes away we suddenly feel like we are in a long distance relationship?

How I miss my friends?

I am not a very social person but what I wouldn’t give for some stranger to ask me if I know where something is during one of my rare Target runs.

How I worry about my friends and family everyday.

Every week I put a piece of me in words for you to read. 

This week is one of the harder ones because no one wants to be the person at the party with the arms crossed sitting in the corner.

Again, I dial back to how fortunate I am, but man what I wouldn’t give to bury my face in a basket of chips and a big old side of salsa.

The reality is, that is not my reality right now.

Instead I am trying to focus on my bright spots. The time I’ve gotten back with my daughter. 

My phone, actually being used as a phone. I have mentioned this before but I have definitely upped my phone conversations since March and it’s good.

Working from home – first I’m working. That in and of itself, but it also has meant more time with my daughter. I can’t tell you how much that has meant to me.

I’m learning to be mindful. Take a step back. I am learning to speak up.

I am learning now more than ever it’s incredibly important to speak up, stand up, and tell people you love them.

I am also learning I should not try to cut my own hair.

I am an up and  down roller coaster and that’s ok.

My eating habits are like that of a teenage boy. 

When there is a full moon, stop what you are doing and encourage your family members to look at it.

Tell people you love them. Tell people you need them. Tell people they are important.

Embrace who you are. 

Speak up.

Speak out.

Turn the music up.

Love loudly.

Give your dog hugs.

Talk to your cat.

We watched Hamilton this weekend as I mentioned, and my big take away,those guys didn’t have a rule book.

Why should you.


Be safe

Much love Mommas 

<3 Caprise

The Tao of Mr. Rogers

The Tao of Mr. Rogers….

While I am not a fan of resolutions I have been trying really hard to make both my 48th year and 2020 the year I am kinder to myself.

It started by not filtering my photos.

It’s a small step but if I can’t embrace and love who I am, how can I possibly expect anyone else to?

A lot of this shift started with Mr. Rogers.

I work with the under five set and I grew up on Mr. Rogers, so when the Tom Hanks movie came out, I started visiting with my favorite cardigan wearing sage again.

Secret: I would change my shoes and put on a sweater when I would watch the show when I was little.

Now you know that about me.


One of my favorite quotes from my man is:

“There is no person in the whole world like you and I like you just the way you are.”

Another absolutely fantastic one:

“There isn’t anyone you couldn’t learn to love once you’ve heard their story.”

Yet we live in a world that tells us to hide our true selves away.

As I write this I am snuggled under a blanket that looks like a tortilla because I love tacos.

Obsessively so.

I am a taco snob.

For real.

I fly that flag- high.

As I should. 

But along the way I’ve been teased, questioned, gotten an eye roll.


That’s a teeny example. A random kinda silly one.

But a bigger secret. A deeper, harder one to share. I am incredibly shy. I have a hard time showing my true self to people I care about. See people I’m dating. Yes we are going there, just a little for now. I worry about being too much. Not enough. I have had a bad habit of comparing myself to other people.

Boy, Mr. Rogers would be disappointed in me for that one.

There isn’t a magic switch to make that stop. But, I have changed my environment. I’m working on changing my mindset.

I have edited out the people who thrive on being negative cheerleaders. Here’s the thing. I appreciate honesty. I don’t appreciate cruel. Backhanded compliments. People who feed my insecurities.

We all have had those people… “I’m your honest friend.”

Are you?

A blog for never.

Forty eight may be the year of no filter, but it’s also the year I let certain things go.

Even if they’re people.

Somewhere along the way we forgot the lessons from our childhood. Being yourself is amazing. People who really, truly love you will love you. Even if you have a really unhealthy obsession with tacos.

Trust me.

I am also wearing taco socks right now. Yup, also a gift.

I know it’s hard. Being yourself. Not comparing. But did you forget who you are?

You’re a Momma and there is absolutely no one like you, and that makes you amazing.


Much love Mommas

<3 Caprise

Why Are Doritos Enough?

Why are Doritos enough? Being content without being in a relationship.Soon after my divorce, I dated quite a bit and then I was in a serious relationship,for over a year and a half.  Which I know I have wrote about in some of my previous blogs….

Fast forward a couple years, why am I NOT serious about dating now? Why am I content spending nights eating Doritos and watching Netflix.  I hear all the time, why don’t you have a boyfriend.  I get asked about my dating and why I’m not in a relationship… Maybe because I just want to do other things and I am content.   Back off Debra…


I share 50/50 custody with my children.  My children are in their prime years.. they are 15,12, and 9.  And they are heavily involved in sports, activities, church friends, etc. I complain a lot about them because my nights and days are spent driving them everywhere. However, I know that these are the years I will never get back. I love my time with them and I cherish it.  We spend our time just hanging out and having fun. I have realized that this point in my life, I do not want to change the dynamic of our family and life. They feel comfortable and safe at our home.

Time to myself…

After my children leave for their dads, I have learned that I love to have time to myself.  I need that time to decompress after the crazies have left.. I love to have a night to myself to go for a walk or hike. I am not being selfish, but I love that time. I know I have mentioned this before on how my house can go from a crazy madhouse to deathly quiet. Anyone that has shared custody with kids can probably relate to this analogy. I am a huge advocate for how important making time for yourself is in life.

Not enough time to commit…

I feel that with the demands of my children, I would not be able to give the amount of time dedicated to being  in a relationship.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not against it.  I know that right now, I can not dedicate the time needed for a relationship.  I have been in a relationship and it was very hard to divide the time between my children, boyfriend, and everyday life. I was overwhelmed much of the time.  I just couldn’t get it all done and I had no time for myself.  Many times I was so stressed and crabby, I was mad at everyone.   There were times in the past when I knew I picked my relationship over my kids. Or I would drag them along to activities that they had no interest in, just to see my boyfriend.

Since that relationship, I have taken a lot of time to understand why it didn’t work.  Relationships require a lot of commitment.  They require hard work and making them a priority. I know that I would not be able to make a relationship a priority right now in my life.

In the past, I seem to attract men that are really looking for a serious relationship.  Even after, I am very honest with what I was looking for in dating and the amount of time that  I can commit. I get overwhelmed by the constant texting and not being able to respond. Yes, I know all the quotes about “if you really want to, you will make time”.  I have heard it all, but its not at the top of my list.  I do understand that thinking however, when I’m with my children, I do not feel like taking time away from them to be texting possible dates.   And from some of my past dating experiences, some of the guys that I have met think that all my free time should be spent with them.  This is even after one or two dates.  That is not true.


Right now, I have many areas in my life that I want to make more of a priority. I enjoy writing my blogs and gaining more experience. This is something that I have taught myself through research, podcasts, and social media.  I am learning new things all the time that I want to learn about.  I think I was in an unsatisfied marriage for over 13 years and the last 5 years I have learning all over again what I enjoy.  Until I can accomplish these goals or priorities, then a relationship will not be a priority.

I’m Actually Content…

I guess what it comes down to is my life, is that I’m very content and comfortable right now.  I look at how much I have changed and grown in the last 5 years.   I’m comfortable with not having my children 100% of the time. That was a huge obstacle for me. I am content hanging out by myself. I am comfortable saying no to a date..  well unless he was really cute.

There is no magical answer to when is the best time to enter in a relationship.. it’s all up to you and what you want out of it.  As I have adjusted to being divorced, I have learned there is no rush in anything. And there is no problem in waiting or saying it’s not a priority right now.  So just tell your family and friends to back off….



Is It Too Soon For A Relationship?

After I got divorced the first thing I did was look for a relationship.  I thought that was what I should do.  I did not realize that I should have taken the time to learn about myself and what I needed.  I did not take the time to learn what I wanted.

There were so many things that I did not realize at the time.   I was recently divorce and thought that I knew what I wanted.  I went on an online dating site and met someone within months of being divorced.  At the time, I thought I wanted a serious relationship.  I mean, what else do you do after divorce but find someone else….

We dated for over a year and it was a roller coaster of emotions.   At the time, I thought this is what I should be doing. I got divorced and now I should meet someone else.  Our relationship started out great, but soon faded.  We each had kids and with our schedules it was hard to find time together. In addition, as we got more involved in our relationship I wanted our kids to spend time together.  I quickly learned how hard it was to date someone with kids when you both have different schedules.  Dating with kids is hard.  I was trying to make him into something he was not and I was also doing things that I did not want, just to make him happy.

Besides thinking that we should each spend time together, I also thought that our kids should spend time together.  They were all different ages and did not all want to spend time together.  I wanted us to do things together as a family.    When I did not have my kids, I would spend time with him and his kids. I would help him with running them to their activities or whatever they needed.  And I did not have any time to myself or learn about my own life after divorce.  I thought this is what I should be doing.

Our relationship was very toxic at the end.  We would fight, said unforgivable things, and make up so many times.  I was scared to be alone and didn’t know what I would do without him.  We ended up breaking up.  Our facebook status couldn’t keep up with all the changes, it was a daily status update.  I  soon realized that our relationship was so wrong.  I was trying to go from a marriage of 13 years to a serious relationship with someone else before knowing exactly what I wanted.

I did not know what I wanted in a partner or even my own life.  I have now had the time to learn about myself and what I love. I have time finally do the things that I love.  While we were dating, I would spend my time doing the things he loved.  I did not take time to do what I wanted.  I love to workout, hike, and be outside.

I  would put those things aside and not do them because I felt they were not that important.   I have now learned that those things are a priority to me and I put them first.

It took me a long time to be ok with not being with someone else, not spending every moment with a date or a boyfriend.  It’s so important to know what you want and what you like before rushing into a relationship.   I learned that it is important to not settle, just to be with someone.  And I am pretty sure I have learned over the last year what I do not want..haha.  I had to learn about what I truly valued in life and in a person that would be spending time with me and eventually my children.  I had to learn what I wanted from someone in a relationship and how serious of a relationship that I was looking for right now.

During my relationship, I thought I was ready for this.  I can now look back on it and I know that I  should have taken the time to learn about myself, what I want in a relationship, and what’s important to me

Snarky divorced gal


The Beautiful Mess That You Are

The Beautiful Mess That You Are.

One of the most challenging things about healing and growing, is learning how to be vulnerable. Figuring out how to show people your scars, both metaphorically and literally… Where do you start? Who do you trust? How do you admit the things to another person you barely admit to yourself? Where do you even start to develop the ability to accept what has happened in your life and start owning it? God knows it’s not easy to let one person (let alone the world) see the things that broke you, the things that scarred your body and soul. It’s terrifying to allow anyone to see the trauma and devastation you have experienced, so is it even worth it?

When you uncover those scars, you are doing more than just pulling off a bandage. You are tearing down years and years of defense mechanisms and fake smiles. You are shredding the illusion of yourself you have created for the world to see, and letting out the real, albeit messier version of yourself. It might not be as shiny or beautiful on the surface, and in fact, it probably won’t be. What it will be instead, is real and true. It will require a level of raw honesty that will probably hurt like hell at first.

Yes, you will be afraid that whoever sees your scars will only see what’s been damaged. You’ll be afraid that instead of seeing the strength it took to sew all those tears up yourself, they will only see the jagged stitches. Afraid they will see the gaping hole, and not the tenacity it took to pull the knife out of your back all on your own. Afraid the only thing they notice will be the cracks, and not understand the time and patience it took to glue it all back together again.

Here’s the thing, when you stop hiding from your past, your fears, and emotions you free yourself of the hold they have on you. You give yourself the chance to discover who you really are. You can let go of the fake version of yourself that is pretending you are happy with the life you are living… or I suppose for some people, you are giving up the fake version of yourself that pretends they hate their life and everyone in it. Whatever. Either way you are letting go of the illusion. Figuring out how to be real and honest, ESPECIALLY with yourself, is the most important part of healing.

Yeah, there will be the haters and naysayers. Those people who don’t want you to change or grow, because it makes them feel bad about their own lives. The thing is, the people who only see the damage, or criticize you for being your most authentic self aren’t worth having in your life anyway. So, pull off those bandages and let the world see the beautiful mess that you are. You never know who will love you, scars and all.

Embrace your perfectly imperfect self,