Tag Archives: romantic

Another Day

Another day….

It is Valentine’s Day. Today’s song is a cover of Coldplay’s Yellow by Flor featuring Misterwives. No beverage. I might break into a Diet Dr. Pepper and treat myself.

This day is hit or miss.

I am sorry I am not going to sugar coat this. As someone who was in a bad marriage and an abusive relationship it’s tricky.

And probably not for the reasons you think.

I focus on my daughter.I have tradition… I always get her a card,a Russel Stover’s chocolate assortment and fun socks. I put her gifts out before she gets up.

Then honestly we can go on with our day. This year we test ran a teenage rom com for our weekend movie to get into the spirit and she liked it. 

Hallelujah! My kiddo loves anime which is TOTALLY fine but sometimes Mom needs a change of scenery.

I have never been a member of the Valentine’s Day sucks club and after I had my daughter and started teaching the under four set it definitely was a lot more fun.

But … thanks to social media it can be easy to join the club.

Oh my goodness so easy.

Like how do I get a card?

My ex husband was not romantic. Not even a bit. Which was hard for me.

I didn’t want bells and whistles but it’s hard being a heart on your sleeve lady married to a guy who sees things as numbers.

I don’t want a lot but a little goes a long way. 

Now there are a couple of camps around one’s attitude about all of this. This being Valentine’s Day…

“Celebrate all you have”. You are a strong independent woman. You have a great job. A great kid. Having someone is just a happy add on to an already pretty great life.

Yes 

100%

Then there is “hey you are going to be alone”. You and a bunch of puppies. With an extensive band T-shirt collection and no one to talk about the Foo Fighters album with.

Well… I do have friends. And my daughter…and I REALLY like puppies like that’s kinda goals. 

So…

Or

“Let’s all get houses next to each other and be modern Golden Girls”.

I mean… wait you’re married how is that going to work?

Or… how about this. We are all trying to figure out what we want and there are days I am that strong independent Mama and I got this and then  there are days I really want someone to hug me and say it’s gonna be ok.

And you know what… that’s ok.

We all have lived different journeys that continue to shape who we are.

Those journeys may mean if I don’t ever see a red teddy bear again I’m solid, but if a Foo Fighters T-shirt and some good coffee appeared on my doorstep I might be engaged the next time you read my blog.

For now I am going to try not to eat my kid’s chocolate, make sure I hit the after Valentine’s candy sale this week and focus on what I have. Besides, my eye makeup is really cute today. 

No tears. 

My wings are sisters not twins. It’s a Valentine’s Day miracle.

 

Much love Mamas

<3 Caprise

TWSM’s Book Review of ‘My One and Only’ by Kristan Higgins

Found this one to be romantic and dramatic with unexpected twists… “My One and Only” was a heartfelt and fun read! It is actually a bit addictive and hard to stop listening to. The characters are compelling and you are quickly woven into their lives.

The lead character, Harper is a top-notch divorce attorney which certainly helps skew her view on the institution of marriage. Add her failed marriage of less than a year many moons ago and you’ll begin to see why she views all things romance as better for somebody else.

Infamous and despised by many of the losing divorcees on Martha’s Vineyard, 30 year old Harper James is driving even the local priest crazy with her dry wit and scathing cynicism regarding all things ‘love’. Harper believes herself to be a ‘habitual realist’. That said, she proposes to her boyfriend at the beginning of the book with what is more like an opening statement in a court case rather than a romantic plea…needless to say it doesn’t go quite as planned…instead the phone rings and she finds out that her younger sister is going to marry her ex-husband’s brother in 2 weeks’ time. THIS is news since Harper didn’t even know they were DATING! Since Harper has not seen or spoken to her ex (Nick) since they spilt this throws her completely off her well-organized game.

We are then off and running with Harper on a series of adventures that takes us all over the country and end up teaching Harper how to become a better person. She is also confronted by the fact that she never really got over her first husband…and that is all that I am going to say about that!

Higgins again delivers us an excellent heroine in an engaging story full of what it really means to love people. Lots of making peace with the past in this one and I am quite certain that everyone will find something here to relate to.

Another book that I highly recommend! 🙂

***Although this isn’t part of the promotion, I am currently part of a paid sponsorship for Audible’s Romance Package. Also please note that I truthfully LOVE the books that I have been listening to and this endorsement has been one of my favorites!

Dating Tips

Dating these days is just insane compared to the way it was when we grew up or even when our parents grew up.  The internet has made meeting people easier, yet I think it has made “real” relating much harder.  I have learned from personal experience that the relationship that you can develop with someone over the phone and via text is NOT the same once they are standing in the room.  No, I did not internet date by the way…any of you that know me know that I am not a fan of internet dating or online dating profiles.  The influence of being raised old school I suppose.

Here are some do’s and don’t’s of dating.  We are also going to start answering  your dating questions, which can be emailed to us at noelle@fortunatopartners.com and put Dating Question in your subject line or you can message The Working Single Mom FB page.

Here are some simple dating ‘rules’ to consider.  Enjoy.

  • Finding a romantic partner is NOT the end all be all, it is a nice addition to an already healthy and functioning life. LIKE and LOVE yourself first, be comfortable in your own company, don’t be looking for someone to fix or solve your life.  Only YOU can do that.

 

  • Do NOT, we repeat DO NOT date someone to try to fix or save them. Don’t fall in love with their potential—SEE CLEARLY who they are right in the moment and pay attention to that.

 

  • Don’t pay much attention to pretty, romantic words or promises. WATCH WHAT PEOPLE DO.  Their actions will tell you EVERYTHING, just keep watching.

 

  • If you see a red flag early on—pay attention and get out then. Don’t make excuses for behavior that doesn’t work.  The longer you let it go, the worse it will get and the more attached you will get.

 

  • DATE—like actually go out to dinner, for a walk, to a movie, to a museum. TALK in person, get to know each other.  If you have sex too soon then you will introduce emotions that don’t yet belong there—be patient….what is meant for you will find you.

 

  • Do not be a needy, pain in the ass…do not act like a psycho. Don’t call 5 million times, don’t text incessantly…let him give chase…don’t you dare chase him and don’t stalk him…Please act like the grown-up woman that you are, a woman that has a great life of her own to live.

 

  • Do not sell yourself short and do not act like a pathetic, desperate woman that needs a man to make her life work, there is nothing less attractive than that to a real man…and any man that likes you to act like that has issues of his own…so stay away from him.

 

 

  • A first date is not an audition for marriage. It’s just a tryout for a second date. This is a process and it takes a good, long time to see who someone really is.

 

  • If someone tells you they are too damaged, untrusting, neurotic, creepy etc—then they probably are so get the hell away from them:)

 

  • If something doesn’t feel safe then it probably isn’t. TRUST YOUR GUT.  Go on first dates in public places and meet them there, don’t get in secluded situations with people until you have a good sense of who they are, please!

 

These are just some points to consider—don’t forget start emailing us with your questions and thoughts on dating.

 

The Greatest Love Story of All Time…

Good Lord…I haven’t blogged for you guys in forever, so today I thought I would remedy that.  From time to time I will dabble at writing fiction and so I thought we would restart our blogging relationship with a bedtime story for you…a story for all of you romantics at heart…I think I used to be one of those people before life got in the way…here’s to the romantics in all of us…enjoy…

The Greatest Love Story of All Time

 

…The little girl said, “Mama tell me the greatest love story of all time…”  And the Mother brushed the hair from her child’s forehead and looked into her expectant eyes, took a deep breath and began…

 

She had a beautiful spirit and the smile in her eyes could leave you weak in the knees, you could feel her before she entered the room and her energy was contagious, she was generous, intelligent and kind…she was strong where others were weak, forgiving where others were hard-hearted and had the generosity of Spirit that only comes from understanding the real meaning of life…

He was sexy, handsome and fierce, chivalrous and kind, strong beyond measure, witty, smart and charming with an engaging sense of humor…he was the kind of man you would want your daughter to marry, the kind of man every woman wants to have…

You knew when you looked at him that he really understood things and that he would protect you and keep you safe …you knew when you stood near him and breathed into him that if he loved you; your life would never be the same…

He was both sweet and hard and to drink him in was like enjoying a very fine wine…to touch him and feed his passion was like spinning into something that had no words…

So many things had come before this, so many concessions made, so much craziness and then years of near solitude…

Ever since her father left her she had pretty much made the choice that she would never be with a man that she really, really loved because it seemed that life had taught her early on if you loved someone beyond reason they would leave you…and so she had carefully constructed a life with many fine people that she loved,  however there was always that place that they could never get to and they were never smart enough to know it even existed…she found that most people don’t care to look very deeply and in a world like that even her reserved form of loving showed up as something to treasure.  Her father came back after 25 years to right old wrongs and after a couple of years that allowed her to see that loving beyond reason and without conditions was, perhaps, possible…

Her heart had been smashed, stomped on, broken into bits…her ego periodically destroyed…she knew enough now to understand what really loving someone meant, love is an endless act of forgiveness and real love is a growing up.

He, perhaps had never quite found what he was looking for…to her,  he seemed strong, savvy and fierce,  yet somewhat sad and lonely underneath …it seemed that he had been unappreciated, unseen at a soul level and that he had suffered some from that.

A man suffers more than he knows when he isn’t loved properly…he becomes somewhat hard-hearted and uncharacteristically cynical…outside things can look so very perfect, yet sometimes somewhere deep in the heart and soul of him something is missing…

She sensed that he had some broken dreams that were difficult to get over…she wished that she could love him enough to make all the bad things disappear…yet she was smart enough to know he had to banish the demons on his own, perhaps using her love as a grounding place to become stronger for the fight.

She knew that true, pure love could restore anything…the trouble these days is that people don’t love pure and true and their stupidity destroys love’s power.

Her response to him was strong, quick and pure, it was without history and reason …it just was…

Meeting him caused her to re-think each aspect of her life and she saw that in some ways parts of her had nearly faded from neglect…it was so masked that she never even noticed until she met him…but he noticed, he saw it

He saw things about her that she couldn’t even see, until she looked through him and that was when she saw the empty places…the ones she thought didn’t matter anymore…

She didn’t need him to ‘complete’ her—she wanted him to ‘compliment’ her and she him…she felt that those were the things that lasted forever, the ones where you made each other better people by being together.

At this point the little girl interrupted her Mother and said, “Mama is that true, that people can make each other better by being together?”

Her Mother answered, “Yes, little one that is true…when soul mates come together they make each other shine, they help each other to find their best parts and everyone around them benefits from this.”

After she met him everything she thought changed…she woke up missing him and thought of him throughout the day…he was so far away yet he was inside of her as if he had always been there…it seemed that he belonged there…

At first she questioned her sanity…then over the days and weeks that passed she realized that perhaps her unspoken prayer had been answered…perhaps life could be completely altered in just one single moment…she was willing for that…

The Mother paused at this point and the little girl said, “Mama what’s wrong, why have you stopped?”

 And her Mother said, “The greatest love story of all time is a work in progress my love, these two people have had some Divine Intervention and now the rest is up to them…they have to be willing and they have to trust…”

 “But Mama I need to know what happens…I need to know the end of the story.”

 Her Mother answered, “Little One the greatest love story of all time will never have an end, it is a timeless story recreated by lovers’ everyday.  It is a promise and a prayer and it is ageless and timeless…and someday you will write your own chapter.”

 The little girl sighed and smiled at her Mother, “What about them Mama, the people in this story…what happens to them, how do we know if they will be alright?”

 “He will go to her, it will take him awhile to get there, but he will go and then they will write their own chapters together…”

 “Mama, I want them to be happy, I want them to believe…”

Her Mother replied, “Then every night before you go to sleep, say a prayer for them…say a prayer that will become timeless, a prayer for lovers everywhere…pray that they have faith, that they are strong enough to face their fears and pray that they believe in the magic of God’s Grace…”

And the little girl looked at her Mother and knelt down and prayed and when she was done she knew in her heart that the lovers had heard her…