It is Valentine’s Day. Today’s song is a cover of Coldplay’s Yellow by Flor featuring Misterwives. No beverage. I might break into a Diet Dr. Pepper and treat myself.
This day is hit or miss.
I am sorry I am not going to sugar coat this. As someone who was in a bad marriage and an abusive relationship it’s tricky.
And probably not for the reasons you think.
I focus on my daughter.I have tradition… I always get her a card,a Russel Stover’s chocolate assortment and fun socks. I put her gifts out before she gets up.
Then honestly we can go on with our day. This year we test ran a teenage rom com for our weekend movie to get into the spirit and she liked it.
Hallelujah! My kiddo loves anime which is TOTALLY fine but sometimes Mom needs a change of scenery.
I have never been a member of the Valentine’s Day sucks club and after I had my daughter and started teaching the under four set it definitely was a lot more fun.
But … thanks to social media it can be easy to join the club.
Oh my goodness so easy.
Like how do I get a card?
My ex husband was not romantic. Not even a bit. Which was hard for me.
I didn’t want bells and whistles but it’s hard being a heart on your sleeve lady married to a guy who sees things as numbers.
I don’t want a lot but a little goes a long way.
Now there are a couple of camps around one’s attitude about all of this. This being Valentine’s Day…
“Celebrate all you have”. You are a strong independent woman. You have a great job. A great kid. Having someone is just a happy add on to an already pretty great life.
Then there is “hey you are going to be alone”. You and a bunch of puppies. With an extensive band T-shirt collection and no one to talk about the Foo Fighters album with.
Well… I do have friends. And my daughter…and I REALLY like puppies like that’s kinda goals.
“Let’s all get houses next to each other and be modern Golden Girls”.
I mean… wait you’re married how is that going to work?
Or… how about this. We are all trying to figure out what we want and there are days I am that strong independent Mama and I got this and then there are days I really want someone to hug me and say it’s gonna be ok.
And you know what… that’s ok.
We all have lived different journeys that continue to shape who we are.
Those journeys may mean if I don’t ever see a red teddy bear again I’m solid, but if a Foo Fighters T-shirt and some good coffee appeared on my doorstep I might be engaged the next time you read my blog.
For now I am going to try not to eat my kid’s chocolate, make sure I hit the after Valentine’s candy sale this week and focus on what I have. Besides, my eye makeup is really cute today.
My wings are sisters not twins. It’s a Valentine’s Day miracle.
Much love Mamas