You are worth the rainbow….A girlfriend came over tonight to pick up something that I made for her and she shared with me ‘The Slump’ she was in. I reminded her that after every storm, there is a rainbow. It may not be in her back yard, it may not be when she looks out her window toward the east and it may not be shooting across the sky in her part of town …but there is one. It’s just how nature works.
It’s an unknown natural law. Like gravity. It just IS. Rainbows come after the rain.
I reminded her that SHE created the space she is in & SHE has the power to RE-create it too. That her woeful thoughts, negative words, pity party for one, and sadness were creating a bigger slump.
I drew a scenario for her…. Imagine…every bad attitude, every quitting thought, every “poor-me”, you are putting a shovel into the ground and tossing the soil away. The more she pitied, and lamented and teared up, the more shovelfuls she tossed, AND the bigger the hole around her was getting. And now…the harder it will be to climb out of it.
I challenged her to start today. To do something different… Imagine…. with every uplifting thought, with every accomplishment, with every “yay-me” she could toss a shovelful of soil back into the hole bringing her closer to the top with every one. And pretty soon, there will be no hole at all. She’ll be able to GO. Easily, simply, happily GO. Just GO.
Nothing stopping her. She won’t be held back by her reluctance, she won’t be tied down by her sorrow. She’ll be free. Standing in the victory. On the other side of her Slump. Standing in the freedom because SHE recreated the space she was in. Because SHE did something different in the middle of her storm. And mostly because SHE knew she was worth the rainbow.
“Self-confidence is an essential quality for all worthwhile accomplishments.” – Napoleon Hill
If you don’t believe in yourself then how can you expect anyone else to believe in you? No matter what has happened, you must have Faith in your ability to accomplish whatever you want. Often it is easier to believe in other people, especially when things look dark and difficult–it is during these times that you MUST manufacture confidence in yourself and in your ability to create and take action. When I say, repeatedly, that nothing is impossible– I absolutely mean that NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE. The first step to making the seemingly impossible, possible is to have certainty and confidence that you have whatever it takes to move mountains. Most people do not succeed because they do not believe they can have or deserve success.
Enthusiasm goes hand-in-hand with self-confidence. Being self-confident and expressing enthusiasm about what you are doing naturally attracts support and goodwill. People want to be around people that are confident and happy because it makes them feel better about themselves.
When you are going through difficult times and starting to doubt yourself, call on the people that know you the best (your lifers) to remind you that you have what it takes to turn the tide. Their FAITH in you will give you something to stand on and it will help you remember who you are. From that renewed perspective you will be able to MOVE YOUR MOUNTAINS and produce results.
Okay, so those things that you really, really want…what are YOU willing to do to get them? Who are you willing to become? What are you willing to give up? What are you willing to change and where are you willing to go the extra mile to achieve the desired result?
In order to produce miracles of change, you must give them a place to rest. This means that you must make some type of forward motion toward the results you want. Once you do that the Universe itself will empower you to move mountains. Most people sit around waiting for miracles to drop out of the sky instead of taking direct action to create them.
Direct action requires responsibility, discipline, integrity and commitment on your part. When looking to create miracles or a shift in circumstances, everything has to be in alignment. If you are intending to produce a major result you clean up your side of the street so to speak… do things like keep your word, stop complaining, look to help other people, see how you can challenge yourself, be disciplined, and be committed to the result you want to see NO MATTER WHAT.
Sometimes your shifts of behavior will be simple adjustments and sometimes they will be far more difficult. Anyone that knows me knows that I am a HUGE coffee drinker and every morning I pour myself a cup of coffee in this very large mug and every morning it ends up getting cold and I end up pouring half of it out—this morning I saw in my cabinet what I considered to be a very small and useless coffee cup, however it occurred to me that if I used the smaller cup I could avoid throwing half my coffee away because it was cold….so I did something different and used the smaller cup—imagine my surprise when I actually drank what was in the cup and didn’t pour any out. In that moment it dawned on me that maybe making changes in our behavior for a different result was just that simple…perhaps the solution sits right in front of us every morning….
It’s funny really when you find yourself reacting to someone else’s childish and foolish behavior…you know what they are trying to do…get your attention…they can’t get your attention like an adult, by actually conversing…so they start acting out…because of course, any attention for these types of dysfunctional people is a win.
So they act out and you find yourself, much to your horror, reacting to them. Instead of doing what needs to be done and ignoring them. People like this DO NOT deserve our attention, their communication skills are sub-par and instead of having effective communication that works they fall into passive-aggressive, narcissistic behavior patterns. People like this are flawed at such a deep level that they don’t even see that they are like hamsters running on a wheel to nowhere….FAST.
Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. So us thinking that these people will behave differently is just as pitiful as what they are doing in the first place. When people SHOW you who they are, BELIEVE them.
Leave the crazy to the crazy people, grab your toys and exit the building…do not react to people like this—respond to them by ignoring their attempts to engage you and move on. People like this will only steal your energy and keep you from doing what you need to do…if someone wants to be in your life, let them ask. If you need to chase they don’t deserve to be on your radar.
You are worth so much more than that. The people that belong with you will make themselves known and it won’t be a circus, it will be peaceful. So stop reacting and everything else will take care of itself.
So raising a teenager is an interesting exercise and raising one as a single mom without the Dad involved is sooooo much more interesting…a discussion a moment ago:
Me: do your oral presentation, you need to video it and review everything before you do.
Boy: that’s sooooooooo much work, I don’t feel like it, it’s too hard.
Me: I don’t give a flying xxx how you feel, get up and get moving on it.
Me: NOW WHAT ARE YOU DOING????
Boy: Looking for an apartment, I can’t wait to get out of here.
Me: I can send you to Grammy and Papa Steve, then you will really see what’s it’s like to have to work.
Boy: Just let me film this, you will do it wrong if you help me, just go in your office and DO NOT listen to me making this video.
Me: (Leaving the room, laughing to myself)
Me: (from my office) It sounds great!
Boy: STOP LISTENING!!!!!
I share this moment in time with you because it illustrates the point I want to make today about how it doesn’t matter how you feel when you need to get something done. Effective and successful people pay very little attention to how they ‘feel’ in the moment and it certainly never stops them from getting anything done.
We are producing results when we are sad, ill, pissed off, worried, happy, tired and sick of everything. Too many people out there right now operate based on how they ‘feel’ and then they whine and complain about how their lives don’t look the way they want.
There is NO easy button, if you want to make something happen, get off your ass and do something about it…don’t tell us how you ‘feel’ , it doesn’t matter to us because we are BUSY producing results. If your life isn’t what you want –DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.
My son says I am mean:)—yet here is what I know for sure when this kid leaves my house he will be an effective, contributing member of society able to take care of himself, pay his bills and give back in service to others. I don’t care if he ‘likes’ me, I care that he learns how to produce results and serve humanity. Most of the time I didn’t like my Grandfather or my Mother—I thought they were awful and soooo mean…however if it wasn’t for their ‘meanness’ I would likely have given up when life got really hard years back…some days it is still really hard, yet I am up to the task, well-trained in how to be a warrior…I can thank my ‘mean’ Italian relatives for that! Thank GOD they had the courage to be ‘mean’ and that they didn’t accept weakness or excuses or whining…because now I am successful in spite of tons of things that tried hard to get in my way.
You can do WHATEVER you set your mind too, you just have to keep pushing through the crap no matter how you feel in the moment. Just keep moving, after a while the obstacles give up and fade away…
Here’s the thing, it doesn’t matter how you feel about doing something or not doing it…what matters is that you GET IT DONE.Or that you keep your promise or that you deliver the result.Too many people think that how they “feel” has something to do with whether or not they should be “in action”, it doesn’t…it doesn’t matter at all how you “feel” on any given day about any given thing.If you run your life by how you feel in the moment you will be incredibly sad and ineffective.
Who cares if you don’t “feel” like parenting your kid or going to work or making dinner or doing the laundry or paying bills etc…nobody that’s who.Nobody cares how you “feel” they care that you produce the result or keep your promise or do what you said you would do.
Do you think Olympic Gold Medal winners “feel” like training the way they have to in order to win?NO.
Do military Special Forces do things based on how they “feel”, NO…they do what they have to do day in and day out to accomplish the objective.
Do Navy Seals ask themselves if they want to train, or if they “feel” like diving into ice cold water to drill…NO…they do not…they simply DO WHAT MUST BE DONE…no matter how they “feel”.
Do emergency responders stop to think about whether or not they “feel” like running head-on into an emergency…NO…they move and they move fast.
If you let feelings run you they will make you weak and ineffective and they will make your life chaos because feelings change from moment to moment.You have to manage yourself by what you say you will do, the results you intend to produce and the promises you make.This is the behavior that makes an effective and responsible human being and God knows we can use more of those…
‘Willing to do whatever it takes’ is a concept foreign to many, which explains why most people do not have the results that they want in life.‘Willing to do whatever it takes’ means just what it says “whatever it takes”…this may mean staying up all night to get the job done, it may mean making cold calls when you don’t feel like it, it may mean helping someone if you aren’t in the mood, it may mean getting up at 5am to work on your goals before you start your day.It certainly means making yourself uncomfortable in some way, “whatever it takes” is never easy and it never feels good, however it WILL enable you to execute the results you seek.
Sadly, most people that think they work so hard are actually working within their comfort zone, and then they wonder why their HUGE, AUDACIOUS goals never come to pass.Working within your comfort zone will net you the same circumstances and results that you have always had.If things are not moving along the way you want them to, then you are not doing enough to create momentum.Momentum is difficult to create, yet once it starts rolling it will knock down everything in its path and you can keep it moving with consistent focused effort.
If you have a goal that you want to complete then you must be willing to do whatever it takes to make that happen.Do not let anyone deter you, delay you or distract you…keep your head down and stay focused on doing whatever needs to be done. Executing results is not impossible, it simply requires consistency, commitment and a willingness to do ‘whatever it takes’.That means no more excuses, only results.
This will be an unpopular way to behave in most circles because the majority of people prefer to offer reasons and excuses instead of results, so if you are truly committed to doing something different you may need to change the company you keep.