It’s ok to give yourself a time out… the other night I had hit my breaking point with everything…
My kids had been bickering and fighting all day about who was going to take the dog out. Everything that I seemed to ask them to do they ignored. They had left a million dirty dishes all over the kitchen. But they constantly wanted things from me…
One was texting me her latest list of “essential” items to order from Amazon, which included new light switch covers. One had decided that today, he needed to have his milk poured for him and he is 10. And the final one who is still on quarantine thought I was going to wash all of the 14 days of dishes and food piled up in her room… and side note, I now know why we have no food in the pantry. As I write this, I think about how minimal t it all sounds, but how it all just adds up to your breaking point.
I think at times they forget that there is only one of me and 3 of them… Besides the parenting stress, there is just the daily overload of work, changing school schedules, and the holidays.
So, I decided to grab my own snacks (from my hidden stash), wine, and head to my room. I shut the door and turned on one of my favorite christmas movies, the Christmas Chronicles. It took them about a half hour before one barged in and asked for something. And my response was that I was watching a movie by myself and I was in a time out. Shockingly, they must have know I meant it because none of them continued to both me. They let me watch my movie in peace. The one that could not even pour his own milk, had even figured out to make his own dinner in that period of time.
I kind of felt like a toddler throwing a tantrum, but it felt so good. We all need time outs just as much as kids. We need that time by ourselves to regroup and regain control of ourselves. And it is totally ok to take time for yourself and even tell your kids you need a “time out”.
And as much as I wanted to blame it all on my kids, many times I am just as much to blame.
Besides the kids that day, I had overloaded my schedule way too much. I had taken the day off of work to have a relaxing day and instead I had planned way to much. I had once again packed way to much into a 24 hour period. So, I needed to regroup and replan the next few days of my vacation. I definitely did not want the next few days to go like that day. I wanted to enjoy my time with the kids, but also have time to get a few things done. I did not want to turn into that raging lunatic mom again.
The beginning of the holiday season always makes me anxious because it the endless list of things that need to get done…from decorating the house, shopping, cookie making, lights outside, etc…. I need to remind myself that everything does not need to get done that day. That I need to take time and enjoy it all.
I also need to remember that sometimes it is ok not to do everything. In the last few years, I have really cut my “to-do list”. I have learned to turn down many invitations and just make it as simple as possible. Also, my days never go as planned, I have 3 kids and there are always unexpected things that come up with them. As they get older, they all have new things they want to do over the holidays. And I have to compromise now because they have their own agenda on what they would like to do during the season.
So, I have tried to take more time to notice the signs. The signs of when I feel like I am taking on too much and need a break. I am not always the picture perfect mom to my kids, I want them to see that some days as hard. That I also need time to myself and to just go take that “time out”. And that its ok for moms to have tantrums just like toddlers…