Tag Archives: release

Let That S*&% Go!

Let That S*&% Go!…

What I am about to share may seem surprising considering I often riff about the fact I tend to hold on to things and over analyze.

However, in my journey of over analyzing I’m learning there is a whole lot I need to let go. I’ve talked about this before. Now that I’m actually doing it, it’s been kind of amazing the difference it’s made in my life.

Less stress for starters.

I have also started speaking up. Putting space between myself and things that aren’t working for me. People included.

Stress is a silent killer and it’s amazing the things that can help it creep in. It’s sad who might hold the door open.

It is also sad the things I have let get to me. It’s taken some very frank conversations with some people I love and trust a whole lot, to realize sometimes I feed into my self doubt and insecurities. I assume the worst. I listen to the voice inside my head and sometimes the voice of others who I absolutely should not.

Rather than take a moment and stop and think about what is upsetting me.

I believe the worst and for awhile there I had a team of cheerleaders agreeing with me.

Not to say there have been things that have happened that definitely have caused me to put the barbed wire up around my heart sometimes and unfortunately scrutinize things I just shouldn’t.

However…

Not everyone in my life is going to hurt me. Just because someone else did.

Not everyone is going to lie to me just because someone else did.

Not everything is going to fall apart.

Not everyone is out to get me.

I am lovable even when I don’t feel like I am.

This is whole thing, life it’s not a competition.

People who love and care about you should never make you feel like it is.

I should never feel like it is.

Because it isn’t.

It really is a journey.

A crazy, bumpy one with some serious twists and turns but at the end of the day it’s mine and as long as I’m happy and G is happy,the rest of it…

Well I’m letting it go.

I hope when you have those moments, or days you can too Mommas.

Much love.

<3Caprise

Liberation In A Hair Cut

For the past four years I have been growing my hair out. The last time I had long hair was when my 7 year old was 2 and I ended up frying it off with a do it yourself at home perm. I loved the idea of  it being long, and I even look pretty decent with it. This time growing it out started as something I wanted to do and turned into something I was doing to prove something to someone else even though I left that said person almost three years ago.

I have a complicated relationship with my hair, always have. The only thing that stays constant is its always changing.  New love interest? Chopped color or textured it. Experienced a big loss or defeat? Changed it. Experienced a Major win? Changed it. Bored? Changed it. Going through any change? Changed it. I use my style kind of like a canvas to express myself, it changes as I change. You can thank my quirky artistic side for all that.

The problem arose a year after I started growing it out. I allowed someone to put doubt in my mind and made me feel lesser for not having long hair. The comments made me feel less feminine, and insecure with my hair, so for the last four years I refused to cut it. At first I loved the long hair, messy buns and long ponytails. That did grow old after the first year, where will my short hair i could do more with it and I didnt feel like I was suffocating with it down, I found it much more difficult for me to do anything functional with my long thick hair.

After a hectic week of quitting my job, finding another, doing more inside work on myself, I decided it was time for a change. I went to great clips and liberated myself of 12 inches of hair, what I was taken by surprise by was, how much other weight seemed to be lifted when walked out of there. It may seem odd but I feel like, I emptied some baggage, closed some doors and finalized a personal lesson or two during something as simple as a haircut.

Who would’ve thought? I hope you all enjoyed, let me know if ya’ll have experienced something similar.

 

Loving, Growing, Liberated

Ali