Tag Archives: reality

Your Mentality Creates Your Reality

Last Sunday morning on the FB Coffee Chat (10am EST) I started talking to you guys about how your mentality creates your reality, so let’s talk about that some more.  Whatever you hold in your mind will eventually become the circumstance in which you live— this is a simple, universal fact.  Thoughts that are held in your mind will go forward into manifestation and become your reality.  Meaning first that if you are constantly focused on what is wrong and what isn’t working then you will create more of that in your future and also meaning that YOU have the power to bring forth a different REALITY by cleaning up your mentality.

You can quite literally “think” your way out of any seeming difficulty and “think” your way into a totally different life.  This can only be done IF you are willing to do the work—it takes work to change your thinking, you have to be willing to think new things and think in new ways as well as ‘fake it till you make it’.  When you start to introduce new thoughts your mind will tell you that you are crazy for making up statements that are not yet true— good thing you know better than to listen to your ‘mind’.  Waking up every morning and saying “every day in every way things are getting better and better for me now’ may seem crazy especially when your present circumstances appear to be daunting…this is what I mean when I say ‘fake it till you make it”—you have to start saying and thinking the NEW thoughts first—- the results come after—so you have to be willing to just begin no matter what you seem to be in the middle of…

The most important thing that I can teach you is that you can change anything if you can change your thinking—this is far easier to say than to do—-to do this—change your thinking requires constant replacement of thoughts—it is our habit to think about what is wrong, to complain, to think about what isn’t working—cleaning up your mentality means that you have to be vigilant and consciously replace every ‘old’ thought with a new one.  You have to train yourself to think and respond in a new way.

Most of us are living unconsciously when it comes to our thinking, we don’t evaluate our thoughts, we simply have them and act accordingly—we don’t take the time to see that our reality has becomes a reflection of what is in our heads.  Instead we remain reactive to circumstances and we slog through our lives complaining about what is around us and how things are going.   This really is insanity—acting like we are at effect of what is around us—instead of seeing that we are very much “at cause”.

My goal is to have you get conscious— to SEE that you CAN change things in your life—to see that if you will just be willing to do some work on yourself and be disciplined in it you can CHANGE THE GAME.

So for this week let’s get you to at least start seeing that your mentality creates your reality …

I will see you Sunday at 10am EST for our FB Live Weekly Coffee Chat…XO, Noelle

Surviving Quiet and Being Alone

One would assume when they read the title of this post and knowing the author is a divorced single mom that she is talking about being single and not in a relationship. There is truth to that; it’s extremely difficult to go from being married for almost 18 years to being single again. There was so much to get used to – sleeping in bed alone, waking up alone, no other adult to talk to in the house, no one to bounce ideas off of or vent about work with, no one to celebrate successes with, no one to share household chores with and the list goes on and on.

For me, it was the little things …. I was used to calling my husband on the way home from work, finding out how his day was, what time he thought he would be home, etc. After the separation, I found myself picking up the phone out of habit and having to stop myself from calling him.

As a new single mom, I had to learn how to deal with co-parenting and following a parenting plan. We began with the girls going to his house every other weekend. The thought of having a weekend to myself sounded appealing and exciting but it wasn’t as great as I thought. All the times I had dreamed of having a weekend to myself and now it was here and I didn’t know what to do with myself. The quietness in the house was deafening. As a mom, I am always surrounded by people – at home with my kids, at work, at activities and running errands. Even growing up, I went from my parents’ house to college with roommates, then got married and had kids. The only time I had any alone time after having kids was in the car on the way to or from work.

When we first started the parenting plan schedule, I made sure to make plans with friends each time the girls were gone so I wouldn’t have to endure the quiet, lonely feeling I felt. Back then, I was scared of the quiet and alone time, so I wanted to fill my time with things to do so I wouldn’t have to spend my time reliving difficult or sad moments. After a few months of this, I realized that I needed to learn how to really be by myself and be ok with it, so I would force myself to stay home alone– I would try to make it as enjoyable as I could with things like takeout and a movie.

This year, during the week of Thanksgiving, the girls went on a trip with their dad for a week. I had been so busy for most of the year and I couldn’t wait to be on my own for a few days. I made plans each day, but I also made sure to have a lot of down time by myself that week. It had been quite a challenging year and I had a lot of pent up frustrations and emotions and I will admit that I cried every single day that I was alone. I know now that I needed to have those cry days and it was ok and I felt better afterward. I needed that quiet time to sort through my feelings and emotions and let everything go.

Slowly, over time, I have come to enjoy and appreciate my alone time. Sometimes, I drive in the car without listening to music or a podcast just to have a little peaceful moment or two. The quietness when the girls are gone is welcome, although I miss having them around, but I know that I need it to keep myself mentally at peace.

I also have learned that, although I hope I will be in a relationship again in the future, I would prefer to be single than be in a relationship that doesn’t work for me or where I’m not valued. This time alone has taught me that I’m a good person just the way I am and I deserve to be loved and valued, all things that I’m not sure I realized before.

I know it’s not always easy to live in the quiet and loneliness, but sometimes you have to do it so that you can work through all the feelings and emotions you’ve been ignoring. It’s tough and it’s not fun at all, but it’s necessary so you can get to the other side of things ….. better things.

~Laxmi~

You can follow Laxmi on her blog at  https://onedesigirlsjourney.wordpress.com/.

Create A Memory Space

Creating A Memory Space

I have always been sentimental since childhood and have kept various memory boxes throughout the years. Twenty one years ago I attended my first workshop and was introduced the concept of creating a mindful or intentional “Memory Space”.  That weekend gave me clarity about why I felt the deep desire to keep certain items around me and why I derived such comfort and pleasure from them.

As you can imagine I have had many over the years and they tend to change or rotate at various times. I know most of us are extremely busy, life today moves at a much faster clip and we don’t always take the time to mindfully create a space that is just for “Us”. I’m sure some of you might even say to yourself, who has the time or space.

From personal experience, I can share that it is so worth the time and it can take as little as 10 minutes or it can be an ongoing process that evolves as you do.

The most important part of creating your space in my opinion is making it an intentional activity and not seeing it as another “thing” you have to do.

There is no wrong way to create your Memory Space as it is a very personal practice and will be different for everyone. During this time in my life I have several all representing different aspects of what is important to me and what I want to create intentions for. By no means am I saying you need to have several, however I really believe having a space dedicated to what brings your heart joy will add richness to your days.  Examples…one for memories concerning your children or one for memories concerning family or people close to your heart.

Based on your preference, these can be created in a ‘public’ place in your home or office where it is seen by all or it can be completely personal and tucked away in a place for your eyes only.

You may want to create this as your sanctuary, a place to pray, set an intention, meditate, or simply gaze at the objects that bring you joy.

Someone once told me that ”a memory space is a place of non-ordinary reality held within ordinary reality.’

Now don’t get overwhelmed in thinking it needs to be in the perfect place or a certain size. It can be large or as small as your night stand, it could even be located inside a cabinet or a closet.

For those who have one or may know a little about them, as your might be aware, there are many types and ways of doing this. I suggest that those interested in learning more to do research. There is a plethora of information out there.

My intention is, for those of you new to this concept; to make it as simple and enjoyable as possible. It is something I love and really wanted to share as my first blog.

So let’s begin!

  1. Find a space in your home that feels most comfortable and that you will want to spend time at or at least, that you will be able to see every day.
  2. Be in a peaceful mindset as you de-clutter, clean and prepare the surface.
  3. Find a cloth, scarf, or any type of covering that feels special or is symbolic to you.
  4. Set your intention and or purpose for the space – some examples could be that you want to honor loved ones who have passed on, recall moments of joy that you have had or simply just have a space to put your favorite things. It can also be a combination of any and all of the above.
  5. Give thanks and gratitude as you place each object in the space.

Some suggestions for object you might want to consider;

  • A candle
  • Stones or shells that hold special memories.
  • Personal items that have meaning to you.
  • Crystals – always a favorite
  • Artwork, either your own or loved ones, favorite postcards or anything visual that inspires you.
  • Photographs of family, friends, beloved ones, places you either been or want to travel too.
  • Statues and or talismans any symbol that represents peace and tranquility.
  • Flowers, plants or any living thing like a fish. A fish is a symbol of prosperity.
  • Any special texts, words of wisdom or your favorite book.

Always remember that this is YOUR Space, trust that your intuition will guide you to create exactly what is needed in this moment. When you spend time or gaze upon your Memory Space, honor who you are and how far you have come.

Wishing you all that your heart desires!

Kirsten

Questions or Comments kirsten@fortunatopartners.com