Tag Archives: real life

Never Ever Be Ashamed of Doing What It Takes

I was once ashamed. I am no more, not now and not just because of where I am at presently. I am proud of what I have done to get where I am at, I did whatever it took to get here, there were moments of embarrassment. But now I realize I refused to live my life in misery and I refused to bring children in to the world of misery, the world can be pretty miserable on its own. Everyone’s idea of what ashamed means is different and by no means is this blog post trying to portray there is shame in anything one does to make a better life for themselves and their family.

I read an article, The Executive Director of a Non-Profit and a Waitress, on my friend’s Facebook page the other day, I have never lost a child so I cannot even pretend or imagine to know what this mother feels like. I hurt for her, hurt so much for any parent that loses a child. It’s one thing I for sure am uncomfortable with on how to act and react. I have friends who have lost children, and I just never know what the right thing is to say or do. I do the best I can but know that it is probably never even close enough to offer the right amount of comfort. I just hope that in some way it helps.

As I read her article I could relate to the idea of having a job(s) in which I was embarrassed about. In the moment of those jobs, I felt I was better and deserved better. I waited tables, worked overnights at a convenience store, bar maid, fry-cook at a little local drive-in. Whatever it took to pay the bills, most weeks I was working doubles and triples every day. I had to borrow money from my little high school brother to be able to give Christmas to my little girl. I felt judged and ridiculed, ashamed by those who did know me and saw me working these jobs-I don’t know why I felt this way-I was good at what I did! And it PAID the bills. I also knew within myself this was not my permanent. I had dreams, hopes, aspirations and I didn’t just “want to get by”. Maybe that’s why I felt that I was being judged?!? Maybe that’s why I felt that these jobs were beneath me.

I worked 10 years at a very popular fast food chain…I started at the very bottom of the totem pole doing the “teenage” jobs that paid barely $6.00 an hour(Yes, I am old..lol). BUT-there was continual room for advancement…and I did just that. I made bank and received HUGE quarterly incentives, medical/life insurance, paid sick and vacation time, they sent me places for meetings and these places were the first time I had ever been on a plane, I saw Vegas, and Disney World! But with all that and all the “ashamed” jobs, I got something way more than incentives and pay. I learned hard work pays off, established a great work ethic, learned the ins/outs of running a business from advertising to budgets, ran payroll, inventories, and was educated in human resources, how to interview, how to have compassion for others who need their jobs, life long friendships, and how not to be buffaloed 🙂 My customer service skills I like to think are top notch! It was a sad day for me, my employees and my supervisors when I put in my notice. It was time for me to do what I knew I always wanted to do and that was run my own business…and where I am not entirely where I want to be just yet, I will NEVER be ashamed of those jobs ever again, they offered and taught me things I would never have learned in college(although if you can go to college, I insist you do!). Real life experiences, and hard work taught me what I needed to know.

A person does what it takes to get to where they want to be-there is absolutely no shame in striving for an end goal. I take college classes off and on to stay on the up and up of social media and accounting laws but I would never trade in those jobs for anything!

Never be ashamed….

Love to All-Kim

 

 

In Case I Never See You Again…

How many of us conduct ourselves based on the phrase above?  I would venture to say very few.  We all think that there is plenty of time and plenty of opportunity to fix whatever isn’t working… in a relationship, in a job, with a parent, in a living situation…and so we say things to ourselves like “I will make concessions and settle for less than excellence today because I can do something about it tomorrow”, “I will stay here with him or her today because it is comfortable and easier and less confrontational and later I will experience real intimacy and real joy”, “I will hold onto my animosity and anger for you today because later on I will tell you how I really feel and we will make things right”, “I will withhold my heart from you today because you might hurt me and so I will not share my deepest love with you right now because I will do it later on when it seems safer”…and on and on and on……we don’t really look at things saying “in case I never see you again…”

The Christmas Season is coming up fast and so I wanted you to start thinking about how you could make it better…as often it is a time of dread and stress due to unresolved issues in relationships and things left unsaid from seasons long past…

Imagine with me for a moment that there was only today…what would not be acceptable to you then?  If there was only today would you waste one, single second withholding yourself or making concessions for unacceptable behavior or putting up with no results???    Would you???

Or would you throw caution to the wind and change some things…would you forgive some people, would you repair some relationships, would you get rid of things that didn’t work, would you love like your life depended on it???

Do you know that death is unbearable only when you have unfinished business with the people that died…do you understand that living also becomes unbearable when there is loads of unfinished business and a plethora of words unspoken?

In case I never see you again, what must I say to you right now in this moment to be complete?   What a different life we would have if we were complete in every moment…how that would change us…

Most of us are saving stuff for the right moment…the right moment is now…the world is an interesting place these days….funky people are doing crazy things and that requires some of us to remind others of us to stop waiting for the “right” moment—live your life RIGHT NOW…stop putting up with people and things that don’t work, stop withholding yourself from other people, stop killing your vitality and joy with undelivered communications and unexpressed anger…you think that nobody notices because you are being “nice” instead of being REAL…authenticity is what gives life and sometimes being authentic is very unattractive, however it is real and it is true and it is life altering…

Do you remember the Velveteen Rabbit…only when he was a mess and all his fur was gone and his stuffing was coming out, only then did he become “REAL”…

Real life and real love are messy folks…you have to roll up your sleeves and delve in…authentic is getting all the way in and being real all the way through…sometimes it feels great and sometimes not so great, but all the way along you feel alive…you have to get in there and mix it up—stop looking in from the sidelines waiting for the right moment to live.

It’s like the difference between mixing meatballs with a spoon because you don’t want to get “ all messy” and mixing meatballs with your hands…sleeves rolled up, rings off and you just dig into the bowl and mix it and then you shape the meatballs with your hands…

Careful, brittle people mix things with spoons, they shape meatballs with spoons…they don’t want to get dirty or sticky or messy and those people’s meatballs have dry spots and they don’t taste good because they carry the flavor of a person with an inability to fully experience life…NEWS FLASH : real life is messy, it’s fun, it’s heartbreaking, you can get dirty and broken and you can also experience true, profound JOY…

Live your life folks, mix things with your hands, get in there and roll up your sleeves…another holiday is coming, another year…will you be joyful this Christmas?  Will you be complete in every moment with the people that you love and even those you don’t?  Will you ask yourself what would I say now to this person in case I never see them again?

You would be such a gift this holiday season if you lived like that…instead of being stressed and pissed and harried, what if you were gracious and grateful and complete?  What a gift you would be to yourself…undelivered communications are what make us sick and tired and unparticipatory…

YOU be the GIFT this Christmas Season and love people like your life depended on it because it does…