Tag Archives: quarantined

Life Before Quarantine

What life was like before??  It’s funny… but at times it’s hard to remember that it has only been a little over a month since our quarantine began.  It almost feels as if the last month has turned into the norm.  I wonder if I’ll be able to go back m to my “old” life.. 

There have been some hard days in the last month,  when I have felt very defeated and did not accomplish what I needed..  But when I look back to my life two months ago, I wonder how I did it all.

I was getting up every morning by 5 working out at a gym, getting the kids to school, going to my job, then after work I would pick up kids from school, run to activities for hours, and then get home after 8pm… and If I did not have my kids, I would work my second job.  There was no down time. Our schedule was packed every day. And I didn’t mind it.  It was just how life was…we were like a lot of families.  

And now I get up around 7, I go to the kitchen to start my workday, then I get the kids set on doing their schoolwork.  I teeter back and forth all day with working and helping the kids with what they need. My evenings are filled with walks or just hanging out with the kids.  And a lot of nights, I’m laying in bed by 8 pm, watching tv or reading. 

There are no kid activities or running from place to place at night.  My life has a completely different feel.  We are learning to move at a different pace. And I must admit I’m starting to really enjoy it. 

This was one of the first Easter Sunday’s that my kids and I did not rush to church to then drive an hour to my family’s house each way.  As much as I missed seeing my family. I was very content and happy being at home. We wore our pajamas and sweatpants… The kids and I made dinner, had an Easter egg hunt, watched movies, and just hung out.  It was really true contentment.

At times,  I think maybe this was a sign that my life was too busy and I needed a change.  I hated feeling so rushed trying to get from work to school pick up to sports.  We tried not to live like that, but at times the constant rushing took over.    I don’t miss every minute of my day being planned out… and I’m a planner by habit.

So it’s hard for me to realize I’m ok with this… I have always planned everything out day by day and week by week.  And now we plan very little. The first couple weeks were hard for me.  I did not know how to handle not having any real commitments.  It would make me anxious thinking that we had nothing planned. I wondered what I would do without anything to do.  

What would I do with all this time???  

And then it all started to fall into place.. We don’t live minute by minute on a strict schedule anymore.  I guess I really enjoy just having the flexibility of our life.. 

We can sleep in 5 minutes longer on some days,  we can decide to eat dinner at any time, or we can go for an extra mile on our walk.  

Summer will be here soon and as much as I miss the sports and activities, part of me is really looking forward to a slower summer.  A summer of enjoying our time at home.  We can sit outside late at night and have bonfires, we will not be at the soccer field until 9pm and eating dinner in the car. 

I have an extra minute now for all of those questions my kids are constantly asking me.  I think myself and my kids have all learned to just take extra time for ourselves.  We move at a slower pace and we take more time for each other.  Enjoy it!! 

-snarky 

https://www.snarkydivorcedgirl.com/blog

Right Now It’s My Daughter

Right now it’s my daughter…

As I sit and write this Mommas, I am looking out my window. It’s sunny and I will be able to wear shorts today. My teddy bear of a dog is positioned between me and my daughter and it is the first morning I feel like I can breathe.

Yesterday I put my music on and walked for an hour. I am not a health nut. My ideal of breakfast lately has been a full-size candy bar and a Belevita bar. (Balance)

But I was about to jump out of my skin. What was supposed to be a walk around the block turned into a trek into parts of my neighborhood I’d never seen before.

I got in my head.

Deep.

D- E- E-P

I’m a shy, people person who has been on lock for a month.  I’m a forty eight year old woman who still sees that awkward kid who got picked on. I am a person who loves with her whole heart, who spent too many years not being loved the same and am still healing old wounds.

Before all of this I had rituals and routines in place to help me cope when I got too inside my head. Some made sense – therapist. Some maybe not- wandering aimlessly around Target. Some I miss so much- time with my friends.

I make sure to reach out to my friends and family regularly but I can not wait until I can hug them. The hugs may not end.

I focus on the fact that I have extra time with my daughter. That she crawls into bed with me and we talk. We go for walks. She and I play cards and I get to eat every meal with her.

I am so lucky to be working. So many of my friends are in limbo – so many people are. I am fortunate and I can’t forget that.

I am making an effort but as I tell everyone else, I am also being gentle with myself. There is no rule book for this. It’s easy for me to stop and wallow. And I can for a bit, but I have a twelve year old trying to get through this too.

I need to do what I’ve done since they put her in my arms… take care of her.

Which means focusing on the good.

Right now it’s her. Her tight hugs are getting awkward because she’s taller than me, which she loves. Her running into my room while I’m on a ZOOM call to tell me about a funny meme she found, her just sitting next to me while I read and she’s on her iPad.

Now she would tell you I should be thankful I don’t dye my hair an unnatural color so it doesn’t look too bad while I grow it out and keep wearing lip gloss because I like it.

Be safe and much love Mommas.

<3 Caprise