Tag Archives: quarantine

Mom Guilt During Covid

Mom guilt during Covid…….I am tired. I can’t kick this feeling that I should be doing more.  I  finally lost it today and hid in the closet and cried.

Anyone else feeling “Mom-Guilt” during Quarantine?  My social media is telling me that I should be playing more games with my kids, going on more walks, cooking healthy meals, and having fantastic bonding moments baking with my kids.  Instead, the kids are tired of my cooking, are bored with walks around the same park, run to their electronics every chance I let them, and we are on our ten-thousandth episode of Naked and Afraid. Also, I am exhausted.   I love my kids and spending time with them, but even “Impactful Parents” need a break. I am not bored.  I am the opposite of bored.  I can’t get enough done during the day.  My to-do list of engaging bonding activities with my kids AND the upkeep on my house AND maintaining the necessities of my children (like school-at-home, 3-meals a day, laundry, and supervision,) AND my work-from-home job, NEVER-SEEM-TO-END.  I fall asleep each night with a feeling of, “Damn, I never got _____ done.”

Yes, the quarantine is wearing on me.  It is time to refocus and give myself grace.   If you’re reading this and you feel like I do, I want you to know that you’re not alone.  The good news, there are two things you can do to help.

1. Prioritize yourself.   This is sooooo difficult but so necessary! To be a better parent, you have to prioritize your well-being; otherwise, you will get grumpier, more tired,and you’re best “mommy-skills” will begin to diminish.  In short, you will burn out, and you’re kids need you.  Prioritize self-care, like exercise, alone time, and mental breaks.
2. Redefine your priorities.  I have been wondering, “Am I failing my children?”  When they look back on this time, what will they remember? In most cases, children don’tremember WHAT you said nor WHAT you did, but instead,they remember HOW you made them feel.  I hope my kidsremember all the love and security.   That is my main goal as a parent during this quarantine- make my kids feel loved and secure. My goal each day is not too be the best homeschool teacher.  It is not to stop my kids from eating ice cream.  It is not to prevent them from playing Minecraft.  My goal is to make sure that my kids know I love them and that they are protected during this uncertain time. When this is all over, I want my kids to have the confidence they need to go back to their routine and the mental resiliency to get through this epidemic without going crazy.  Those qualities are founded on love and security.

What are your goals for today?

Don’t compare yourself to the Jones’ next door or to Karen’s photos on Instagram.   Be the best YOU.  Be the best parent for your children (what-ever that looks like in YOUR house.)

-The Impactful Parent

@theimpactfulparent on social media

Right Now It’s My Daughter

Right now it’s my daughter…

As I sit and write this Mommas, I am looking out my window. It’s sunny and I will be able to wear shorts today. My teddy bear of a dog is positioned between me and my daughter and it is the first morning I feel like I can breathe.

Yesterday I put my music on and walked for an hour. I am not a health nut. My ideal of breakfast lately has been a full-size candy bar and a Belevita bar. (Balance)

But I was about to jump out of my skin. What was supposed to be a walk around the block turned into a trek into parts of my neighborhood I’d never seen before.

I got in my head.

Deep.

D- E- E-P

I’m a shy, people person who has been on lock for a month.  I’m a forty eight year old woman who still sees that awkward kid who got picked on. I am a person who loves with her whole heart, who spent too many years not being loved the same and am still healing old wounds.

Before all of this I had rituals and routines in place to help me cope when I got too inside my head. Some made sense – therapist. Some maybe not- wandering aimlessly around Target. Some I miss so much- time with my friends.

I make sure to reach out to my friends and family regularly but I can not wait until I can hug them. The hugs may not end.

I focus on the fact that I have extra time with my daughter. That she crawls into bed with me and we talk. We go for walks. She and I play cards and I get to eat every meal with her.

I am so lucky to be working. So many of my friends are in limbo – so many people are. I am fortunate and I can’t forget that.

I am making an effort but as I tell everyone else, I am also being gentle with myself. There is no rule book for this. It’s easy for me to stop and wallow. And I can for a bit, but I have a twelve year old trying to get through this too.

I need to do what I’ve done since they put her in my arms… take care of her.

Which means focusing on the good.

Right now it’s her. Her tight hugs are getting awkward because she’s taller than me, which she loves. Her running into my room while I’m on a ZOOM call to tell me about a funny meme she found, her just sitting next to me while I read and she’s on her iPad.

Now she would tell you I should be thankful I don’t dye my hair an unnatural color so it doesn’t look too bad while I grow it out and keep wearing lip gloss because I like it.

Be safe and much love Mommas.

<3 Caprise