Tag Archives: principles

If You Are Wrong, Admit It

If you are wrong, admit It quickly and emphatically…

This is another of Dale Carnegie’s principles, one that is unfortunately not applied as often as it should be. The thought of admitting you have made a mistake, to many people, shows weakness. Except being vulnerable is a strength. Being willing to be known and take responsibility is also. 

 A long time ago I learned this lesson well.

I was driving my car up to an intersection that I did not have the right-of-way at. As I pulled up, I looked to the right, then to the left and having seen nothing I started to pull across the intersection. As I did, I glanced again to my right and saw a large man on a large motorcycle seemingly inches away from my right fender. I slammed on my brakes and he swerved out-of-the-way and completed his left turn without incident. Shaken, I continued on my way and glanced in my rearview mirror only to see the motorcycle turning around and coming after me.

I was wrong, and I knew it.  

The man on a motorcycle was wearing a black leather jacket, black helmet, and was sitting on top of a black motorcycle. It was somewhat understandable that I didn’t see him, but it was still my fault.

What I did next,  might seem a little risky and counterintuitive. I pulled over onto the shoulder and got out of my car, just as the biker pulled up. He was clearly angry. He also probably thought I was going to give him a hard time. What I did then was throw up my hands up and say how very sorry I was, that it was clearly my fault, and was he all right?

He was totally caught off guard. He stammered a little and then said “you just better be more careful in the future“, then turned his bike around and went on his way.

I have no way of knowing what would have transpired had I not stopped, but it turned a potentially bad situation into a very valuable life lesson.

When you’re wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.


Arouse In The Other Person An Eager Want

Arouse In The Other Person An Eager Want

In Dale Carnegie’s book How To Win Friends and Influence People, there are a collection of human relations principles, 30 to be exact. This is principle 3.

 I remember when I first read this principle I didn’t really understand it. Then I read an example from his book… 

 “One day the famous philosopher Ralph Waldo Emerson and his son were trying to get a calf into the barn. It was going rather poorly. They pushed and the calf pulled. They pulled and the calf pushed. Meanwhile, their housemaid noticed their predicament, and though she couldn’t write brilliant essays or books, she possessed an insight she thought might solve the problem. She walked over to the calf and put her finger in its mouth. While the calf suckled, she gently led it into the barn. What did the maid know that the luminous philosopher had forgotten? She knew that one of the calf’s core desires was food. Once she tapped into that desire, the calf willingly followed. Emerson and his son merely thought about what they desired—the calf in the barn so they could eat their lunch.” from “How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie

 What I like most about this example is that the desired result didn’t come from the smartest person in the room, nor the most educated…it came from the person who paid attention to what was most important to others and was willing to give it to them.

 It is not about manipulating or forcing someone to do something. It is about paying attention to what is important to them. People are much happier to help if they can also get something they want. By paying attention to other people, and being interested in learning more about them, will likely result in better relationships.

 Carnegie’s book was written in the 50s but is still very relevant today. If you haven’t read it yet, I recommend it.

 Full disclosure, I was a Dale Carnegie instructor for 10 years early on in my career, and still read it every couple of years as a reminder of the important things in life.


Principles & Priorities-Making Time

Principles & Priorities

Have you ever heard yourself say, “I don’t have time…”

I’ve said it, you’ve said it too. Let’s be honest – when something is not a priority we escape it by blaming “time” as the culprit. Time has nothing to do with it, as well as money (another blog).

We don’t have to “make time” for a priority, we take action!

What we consider a priority is the fundamental question?

Don’t “have time” to workout, really? Let’s look deeper…

Try this simple eye-opener exercise to learn what your true priorities are:


Take the following statement, in regards to anything, such as a workout,


“I don’t have time” and replace it with:

“It’s not important to me”


How does this statement change your point of view?

Does that change the way you respond to something, or someone?


Time is not something you or I have, at best it’s a measure of your priorities verses your distractions.

Is it important to you? Just be honest with yourself, your health, fitness, income, and peace absolutely depend on it…

-Carter Hayes–Unleash the Champion Coaching

Think About It To Get More Of It

Happy Thursday, I hope that you all had a good day thus far…I just finished a round of teaching boy to drive…NO WORDS!  Let us just say that it is REALLY hard for a control freak to not be in control in that situation…’nuf said!

I posted a video this afternoon for you, it can be found on the FB page.  In it I am talking about how what you think about, you get more of…as in what you keep focusing on is actually what you will bring to pass.  Many people seem to think that the circumstances they find themselves in are a mystery, yet if you backtrack into what they have been focused on for the last while you may start to see exactly how they ended up where they are.  You actually perpetuate unfavorable conditions by staying focused on how awful they are, when you complain about and continually discuss the things that are not working you give them more solidarity.  Your words, thoughts and attention have an immense amount of power and therefore what you focus them on gains strength in your life.

That said, when things are not working the way that you want them to you need to start focusing on the outcomes you want to see instead of on what seems to be before you.  This is no easy task, it requires you to be vigilant with your thoughts and police all the ones that are not going in the direction you want them to.  Not only do you need to catch those unfavorable thoughts, you have to REPLACE them with a positive thought or with a moment of gratitude.

I have been studying these principles since I was 12 years old and I can promise you with certainty that when they are practiced with discipline and consistency they work, hands down, every time.  Let me know in the comments or via email if you want me to elaborate on this more.  For now I will task you with beginning to pay attention to your thoughts and words and see if they are representative of the life that you want to have.

See you tomorrow. xoxo