Tag Archives: positive

Farewell Nancy

Farewell Nancy..

A chameleon is a small lizard as we know it,  whose skin changes to adapt to its surroundings. Do you ever feel like a chameleon adapting and changing yourself just to try to fit in with those around you?  Many of us do this, subconsciously,  due to the fact that we put ourselves in a personal survival space.  Whether it be childhood trauma, poor life choices, or even unhealthy friendships or relationships, every single one of us has experienced this uncomfortable feeling of not feeling good about ourselves or fitting in.  It can be called anxiety, insecurity, low self-esteem or even fear. These feelings have taken up space far too long in MY head, how about yours?  

The most difficult challenge to overcoming or combating these critters is BELIEVING IN YOURSELF!   I know, easier said than done, right?  It can be done…but just like anything in life, it takes work. HARD WORK. Daily, weekly, hourly and every second of the day kind of work. 

Many times in life I’ve found that chick negative Nancy dancing around in my head. Telling me things I didn’t want to hear or believe. “You’re not pretty, You’re too fat,You’re not qualified enough,You don’t make enough money”.  Having this song and dance constantly rehearsing in my head eventually lead me to BELIEVE  these crazy thoughts. Thus, causing daily anxiety, unnecessary fears and most definitely low-self esteem. 

A dear friend of mine introduced me to the power of positivity and positive affirmations by sending me a surprise bundle of books in the mail. 

(This friend of mine and I had lost touch over the years and had recently reconnected).

In order to combat these never ending worn out recordings in my head, I took that care package as a hint, and decided to combat those lyrics replaying in my head by using affirmations. Yes, you know ~ those words strung together to make you feel good.  THEY work!   Although I was unfamiliar with the practice of using affirmations and changing my internal self-talk, I decided I would try. 

Part of this rewiring of my brain involved journalizing and also doing daily readings. In the beginning of my self-help endeavor, I started reading anything and everything that shouted positivity. Some of the materials included spiritual and religious books and daily spiritual readings. 

As with anything else,  it takes a while for something to become a habit, but I found myself craving that little bit of “me” time and started restructuring my day to fit this in. I was waking up earlier in the morning and retreating to my bedroom earlier in the evenings. I even bought daily meditation books!  And guess what? 

I STARTED FEELING BETTER ABOUT MYSELF. 

Little by little, I  WAS changing, I felt it, and it felt GOOD.  I was smiling more, not worrying as much, and learning how to let go of the little things that liked to ride the roller coaster in my head.  I also learned the fine art of forgiveness~that was HUGE.  I felt happier and not as weighed down by the worry, negativity or trauma of the past. I’m not saying any of this was easy, mind you, but with a daily routine, anything is possible!  

My daily routine, now five years later … consists of morning meditation reading and reflection time and also time in the evening before bed either journalizing, reading, or doing some adult art therapy coloring to unwind from the day. “ME time.” Doing THIS has changed my life, changed my attitude to gratitude and also inspires me to help others around me. 

Adios negative Nancy.

~Capemom2

The Bright Side

The bright side…These past few weeks have been nothing short of chaos and confusion for so many people all around the world. The stress levels of many individuals have skyrocketed due to the recent Coronavirus outbreak. I never thought that it could get to this level, but now the current situation is our new normal.

My main concern throughout all of this, is how people are being directly affected by this virus. My parents are both physicians, and they are seeing the unfortunate repercussions of this pandemic daily.

However, although there has been large amounts of fear and concern, we have to look at the overwhelming amounts of love and kindness that is spreading. My cousin is currently living in Spain, and the virus has not been kind in her town. I received a video from her around a week ago that really touched my heart. All you could see in the clip was people on every balcony of her street cheering with passion. They all seemed like they were full of joy and excitement, which shocked me because of the events going on. She later explained that everyone was trying to show love to the doctors and medical professionals that had been risking their lives to care for the ill. It’s acts like those that demonstrate the positive in people during such negative times.

What we are currently living through made me realize how much we take for granted daily. I’ve never wanted to hug a friend, go to school, or see my family more than I do today. Just as the people of Spain are looking on the bright side, we must do the same.

Now those hugs and interactions are going to mean significantly more to us when this is all over. Spread that positivity. 

-Dani <3

Duct Tape, Bubble Gum and Waterproof Mascara

Duct Tape, Bubble Gum and Waterproof Mascara…

I want to sit here and write this blog and tell you everything is fine. Because I had promised myself that moving into this year I wouldn’t let anything get me down.

I wouldn’t get bogged down by things I can’t control. It’s March and the Universe has decided to see how much I can handle in the new year.

My finances have tanked. We will leave it at that. I truly am on the verge of losing my job. We will leave it at that.

My circle of friends that I can share this with is there, but they are all dealing with their own stuff and I don’t want to be that friend.

Throw in all the things that start to come with feeling down you start to pick yourself apart. You start to believe the negative talk. You start to compare yourself to others.

You start to do the very thing you promised you wouldn’t do.

I have said this before and I will say it again, the irony is not lost on me that I encourage others to be strong, brave, believe in themselves. That when people describe me it is kind, caring, and confident. Yet those are things I struggle to find in myself.

Everyday is a battle.

I am thankful that I do a good job hiding it or at least holding it down, I don’t want my daughter to lose her voice or not have one because I can’t find mine.

I am thankful that I am good at saying I’m ok when maybe I’m not, but am able later to pull myself together to talk it out.

I am thankful for recognizing I need a therapist. I know that may seem weird to say but I am. It was a scary thing to decide. It’s a scarier thing to share.

But everyday is a struggle. Right now more than ever. I am almost fifty and my life is not where I thought it should be. Not for lack of trying. I feel like I just got one piece of my life straightened out another piece gets taken away.

So here I sit trying to do the best I can. For myself. My daughter. I’m currently holding it together with duct tape, bubble gum and waterproof mascara.

Cause as you know Mommas that’s what we do.

Sending you love, if you need it I have an industrial package of duct tape, I will always share my gum and recommend a solid mascara.

Much love Mommas,

Caprise

See The Good

This school year, I have had the pleasure of meeting some incredible individuals. One of which is a lovely girl named Sofi. She approached me with the most beautiful smile at the beginning of the year, and made me feel so welcome in my new environment.

As I got to know her, I learned that she had such a wonderful outlook on life. I left every conversation I had with her with a giant smile. The more time I spent with her, the more I picked up on the little acts of kindness that she does to make others feel happy.

Sometimes it’s a simple “hello” to those she walks past, and other times its hosting a service event for those in need. Something I truly admire about her, is her ability to exude positivity even when times get rough.

In her attempts to spread that positivity to others, she created “see the good.”. Her goal is to try and help others focus on the bright side, even in times of difficulty. She managed to create a business that allows her to foster her good character traits and her passions.

It all began with a sweater and the three simple words “see the good.” Now, it has become a movement that shares the stories of other amazing people as well.

Whether you read one of her posts, watch one of her YouTube videos, or wear one of her sweaters, you’ll be inspired to be a better individual and to share positivity with others. I feel beyond blessed to be able to call this beautiful person my friend, and I couldn’t be happier to share her story and goal with all of you.

On behalf of Sofi, I wish that all of you take the time to see the good.

-Dani <3

https://www.seethegoodbysofi.com/

The Proverbial Gut Punch

The proverbial gut punch….

There are certain topics I tread lightly on. Everywhere. Some out of fear, some out of self preservation, some because they are mine alone and if I share them I give them away.

Sometimes though you have to share them. You have to put your misgivings aside, because maybe someone needs to hear what you have going on. Maybe it will help them.

I have been at my current job for almost thirteen years. It was a complete shift. I used to work in Human Resources. I now work with children. I started out as a teacher and have worked my way up and and have been worked out of several leadership roles. In that time we have had four CEO’s. I have switched physical locations at least three times. I am not sure how many times I’ve switched offices. As for bosses… I’ve had quite a few.

More than five less than ten.

With each new boss expectations change. Sometimes my pay and schedule changes. Staff changes. Like I do, I roll with it. As best as I can.

I like my job. I would go so far as to say most days I love it. Except when I don’t.

I am still growing as a leader and I have a lot of work to do and I would like to tell you there haven’t been some things that have made me hold back, but that wouldn’t be true.

I own that. The problem is, I’m now in a place where it’s haunting me. Those fears. 

And I got the proverbial gut punch. You can take that as you will but spoiler alert I’m still employed. 

Which has gotten me to a place where I am looking at myself. At what point did I lose my mojo? At what point did I forget what I am capable of? At what point did I let things weigh me down?

In another life I was the woman that was called upon to resolve conflicts now I avoid them.

I think somewhere along the way I forgot that woman. I started believing the negative talk of others and turned on myself. 

It’s funny I thought I had it together only to find out I still have a long way to go.

I feel like I’m at an impasse right now.  And you know what? While I am definitely having all the range of emotions, maybe this is what I needed. 

That proverbial gut punch wake up call. To get myself together and figure out where my heart is and get my mojo back. 

Much love as always Mamas

<3 Caprise

The Love Is Powerful

The love is powerful…..

Just last week, I was spending the day with my family. This is a usual occurrence, and I am always so happy when the day comes around. My relatives all seem to feel the same way as they often mention how much joy this time brings them.

During this particular gathering, my grandmother made a comment about how she’s positive that these family events are one of the things that keep them going. It is no secret that negative human emotions can cause serious health problems. Illnesses such as heart disease, diabetes, and obesity can all be results of anxiety and stress. My question was if positive human emotions that one feels when surrounding themselves with people they love, could have positive impacts on the human body and on human life spans.

I did some research, and I was able to find some scientific facts that could indeed prove that theory. For starters, relationships of love release a certain hormone known as Oxytocin in our bodies. This “love hormone” has been proven to bring us feelings of extreme happiness. That Oxytocin also has the ability to lower hormones such as Cortisol that weaken our immune system. Therefore, these loving relationships can directly lower the rate of sickness. Another proven fact is that people with older age experience less physical pain when they have close family relationships. The more emotional pain they feel, the more physical pain they feel. Along with that, people of older age that are in loving relationships tend to have sharper minds since those relationships have the ability to slow down mental decline over time. All in all, the quality of the close relationships in your life have the power to drastically change your physical and emotional well being.

By surrounding yourself with the people you love, you are proven to be healthier and more importantly, happier.
-Dani <3

No Filter

I turned 48 in November. As I do every year I made myself a promise.

This would be the year of no filter.

I started simply. I removed Snapchat and any photo editing apps from my electronics.

When I did take a picture I added a cheeky caption- “me in my bathroom while my child is getting ready for bed.”

Surprisingly my friends were into it.

I also did this in a response to strengthen my confidence. I still struggle. I am not going to tell you I don’t. I am not a size five. I just cut my hair off and I’m covered in tattoos. I am not the stereotype of what sometimes our world tells us is attractive.

And I know I’ve sang this song before, but sometimes there will be a wobble and I need a reminder.

I also have a daughter. What am I saying to her by editing my photos before posting them? It’s one thing to not post a photo because my eyes are closed or maybe my smile is a bit goofy. But to change it to the point I don’t look like me.

I can’t show her that.

Although, I do like the filter that puts tacos around my head.

There is a great quote “in a society that profits from self doubt, liking yourself is a rebellious act.”

Every week I write these blogs encouraging you all to love yourselves meanwhile I’m struggling.

That’s my secret to share in this year of no filter.

I am a fabulous cheerleader for others.

Me- I need to work on.

So with each picture I post in color, without a fun Snapchat filter, I’m learning to love the freckled, wrinkled face staring back at me.

Look Mommas if you dig the animal ears, you do you. Seriously. But you are gorgeous with or without those ears.

<3 Caprise

The Negative Chit Chat

Ahhhh to have chit chat with a friend can be a beautiful thing.  To get together over a cup of warm coffee, to sit back and feel your body relax…..your shoulders drop, the space between your eye brows softens, your heart is open.  You are chit chatting about all the things that are going on in your lives and between the listening& the talking there is laughter. Gut deep laughter. Opinions are shared, ideas are created, stories are told.  What better way to spend this time, on this day? 

But what about the negative chit chat in your mind.  The noise that goes on & on about how you can’t do anything right, that you messed up AGAIN, that you’re crazy for even thinking that you could possibly do XYZ. 

The negative chatter in the mind can be a difficult thing to tame, to ignore, to silence.  Even though there may be no outside noise, there is a lot of noise within. Too much noise and it can grind you down.  You can shut off the TV, turn off the radio, send the company home, but you might have a tough time telling the negative chit chat in the brain to go away.

There are ways to manage the chit chat of the mind.  Ways to take a hold, change the thought patterns and have your own internal cheerleader instead of an opponent.

– write down and repeat saying daily affirmations

– reading transformational books

– read Scripture

– call a friend who believes in your highest good

– write a powerful verse on your bathroom mirror so you see it every day

– listen to motivational CD’s in your car

– read daily devotionals

– find a safe place to sit and do nothing and let the mind empty

And remind yourself how amazing you are.  Every. Day.

xoxo

Your God Girl,

Tracy

Spread The Love

Spread The Love.

Recently, I’ve suffered from a little lack of inspiration. For someone that spends most of their time writing, this issue can become a little concerning.

My days have been full of mostly schoolwork and student government duties, which basically left my brain little space for creativity. (The struggle is real).

The other day, however, one of my teachers made a very simple statement that once again got my creative juices flowing. The words, “Spread the love”, stuck with me for the remainder of the day.

I’d repeat the statement over, and over again in my mind. There was something about the simplicity of those three words–yet the strong impact that it could have on so many people–that inspired me. The phrase itself could have so many meanings, but all of them have a kind purpose.

“Spread the Love” is something we should follow every day, especially in today’s world, where kindness is not always our number one priority. This made me ponder on how the phrase could be used in my everyday life. I don’t necessarily think that it means you always need to be happy.  That is obviously not realistic, since all of us struggle with the ups and downs of life.

What I do think it means is to be mindful of how you treat others during those ups and downs. It’s never okay to treat those around you with anything less than kindness. Our goal should always be to raise people up, not put them down for the purpose of trying to feel better ourselves. I know that growing up in a world of social media has made many teens think that it’s ok to say negative things. It’s especially easy when you’re hiding behind a computer screen. I encourage everyone reading this to practice spreading the love. Whether its behind a screen, or in person.

As a society we must spread positivity, spread kindness, and, most importantly, SPREAD THE LOVE!

-Dani <3

The Power Of No

The power of no…

On and off throughout my life I have been told I’m too much. Too sad, too happy. Too short, too chubby. Too shy. I have held onto those statements good, bad and otherwise and used them as my kick starters. The constant tape in my head.

However, my biggest motivator is the word no.

When I’m told no as the saying goes “I do it twice and take pictures.”

I have heard no my whole life. As a small person for obvious reasons. But the first time I heard no and used it to light a fire was in junior high. Some of my friends were cheerleaders. I was mildly interested. When I shared this with a friend and was overheard by a classmate (who promptly told me someone who was so shy like me couldn’t possibly be a cheerleader). I tried out and became a Basketball cheerleader.  It was short lived, because yes I didn’t like being in front of people,but I did it.

In high school when I was told my poems weren’t that great, I became our literary magazine’s editor my senior year.

In college when in a class I was told I should keep my opinions to myself I ran for student government and became president of our hall.

Ok… maybe it’s not the word no exactly but the being told I can’t do something.

Even if I know I will probably fail. I am going to still try. I have to.

When I first started out in radio I remember having a station manager tell me a young lady like me should do admin work. Throughout my career I was told my voice was an experiment. The first comment led to me applying for and getting a paid on air shift. The second caused  me to leave commercial radio. For many years. Later when our community got a public volunteer radio station- yours truly applied and hosts not one but two radio shows.

I always apply for a job I’m interested in. You just never know . Someone may say yes. Case in point I wanted to work with kids, I saw an ad teaching children Spanish, my experience was adults. But I tried. Thirteen years later and I now run my own center.

I have asked bands for interviews. What’s the worst that can happen? I hear no. I have already heard it. A few have said yes.

My most favorite leap … well you are a part of it. I have always wanted to write. REALLY write. But who possibly would want to read what I had to say? A dear friend of mine saw The Working Single Mom was looking for bloggers. I submitted a piece that was incredibly personal and we never published…a year later, geez I think even longer actually. Here we are.

No is easy to hear and let become a piece of negative talk we all play in our brains. But if a shy, failed cheerleader like me can use it for power. Mommas so can you.

Remember who you are….a magical creature. You are the keeper of hearts,hopes and dreams. No is nothing to magical beings like us.

 

<3 Caprise