Tag Archives: positive

No Filter

I turned 48 in November. As I do every year I made myself a promise.

This would be the year of no filter.

I started simply. I removed Snapchat and any photo editing apps from my electronics.

When I did take a picture I added a cheeky caption- “me in my bathroom while my child is getting ready for bed.”

Surprisingly my friends were into it.

I also did this in a response to strengthen my confidence. I still struggle. I am not going to tell you I don’t. I am not a size five. I just cut my hair off and I’m covered in tattoos. I am not the stereotype of what sometimes our world tells us is attractive.

And I know I’ve sang this song before, but sometimes there will be a wobble and I need a reminder.

I also have a daughter. What am I saying to her by editing my photos before posting them? It’s one thing to not post a photo because my eyes are closed or maybe my smile is a bit goofy. But to change it to the point I don’t look like me.

I can’t show her that.

Although, I do like the filter that puts tacos around my head.

There is a great quote “in a society that profits from self doubt, liking yourself is a rebellious act.”

Every week I write these blogs encouraging you all to love yourselves meanwhile I’m struggling.

That’s my secret to share in this year of no filter.

I am a fabulous cheerleader for others.

Me- I need to work on.

So with each picture I post in color, without a fun Snapchat filter, I’m learning to love the freckled, wrinkled face staring back at me.

Look Mommas if you dig the animal ears, you do you. Seriously. But you are gorgeous with or without those ears.

<3 Caprise

The Negative Chit Chat

Ahhhh to have chit chat with a friend can be a beautiful thing.  To get together over a cup of warm coffee, to sit back and feel your body relax…..your shoulders drop, the space between your eye brows softens, your heart is open.  You are chit chatting about all the things that are going on in your lives and between the listening& the talking there is laughter. Gut deep laughter. Opinions are shared, ideas are created, stories are told.  What better way to spend this time, on this day? 

But what about the negative chit chat in your mind.  The noise that goes on & on about how you can’t do anything right, that you messed up AGAIN, that you’re crazy for even thinking that you could possibly do XYZ. 

The negative chatter in the mind can be a difficult thing to tame, to ignore, to silence.  Even though there may be no outside noise, there is a lot of noise within. Too much noise and it can grind you down.  You can shut off the TV, turn off the radio, send the company home, but you might have a tough time telling the negative chit chat in the brain to go away.

There are ways to manage the chit chat of the mind.  Ways to take a hold, change the thought patterns and have your own internal cheerleader instead of an opponent.

– write down and repeat saying daily affirmations

– reading transformational books

– read Scripture

– call a friend who believes in your highest good

– write a powerful verse on your bathroom mirror so you see it every day

– listen to motivational CD’s in your car

– read daily devotionals

– find a safe place to sit and do nothing and let the mind empty

And remind yourself how amazing you are.  Every. Day.

xoxo

Your God Girl,

Tracy

Spread The Love

Spread The Love.

Recently, I’ve suffered from a little lack of inspiration. For someone that spends most of their time writing, this issue can become a little concerning.

My days have been full of mostly schoolwork and student government duties, which basically left my brain little space for creativity. (The struggle is real).

The other day, however, one of my teachers made a very simple statement that once again got my creative juices flowing. The words, “Spread the love”, stuck with me for the remainder of the day.

I’d repeat the statement over, and over again in my mind. There was something about the simplicity of those three words–yet the strong impact that it could have on so many people–that inspired me. The phrase itself could have so many meanings, but all of them have a kind purpose.

“Spread the Love” is something we should follow every day, especially in today’s world, where kindness is not always our number one priority. This made me ponder on how the phrase could be used in my everyday life. I don’t necessarily think that it means you always need to be happy.  That is obviously not realistic, since all of us struggle with the ups and downs of life.

What I do think it means is to be mindful of how you treat others during those ups and downs. It’s never okay to treat those around you with anything less than kindness. Our goal should always be to raise people up, not put them down for the purpose of trying to feel better ourselves. I know that growing up in a world of social media has made many teens think that it’s ok to say negative things. It’s especially easy when you’re hiding behind a computer screen. I encourage everyone reading this to practice spreading the love. Whether its behind a screen, or in person.

As a society we must spread positivity, spread kindness, and, most importantly, SPREAD THE LOVE!

-Dani <3

The Power Of No

The power of no…

On and off throughout my life I have been told I’m too much. Too sad, too happy. Too short, too chubby. Too shy. I have held onto those statements good, bad and otherwise and used them as my kick starters. The constant tape in my head.

However, my biggest motivator is the word no.

When I’m told no as the saying goes “I do it twice and take pictures.”

I have heard no my whole life. As a small person for obvious reasons. But the first time I heard no and used it to light a fire was in junior high. Some of my friends were cheerleaders. I was mildly interested. When I shared this with a friend and was overheard by a classmate (who promptly told me someone who was so shy like me couldn’t possibly be a cheerleader). I tried out and became a Basketball cheerleader.  It was short lived, because yes I didn’t like being in front of people,but I did it.

In high school when I was told my poems weren’t that great, I became our literary magazine’s editor my senior year.

In college when in a class I was told I should keep my opinions to myself I ran for student government and became president of our hall.

Ok… maybe it’s not the word no exactly but the being told I can’t do something.

Even if I know I will probably fail. I am going to still try. I have to.

When I first started out in radio I remember having a station manager tell me a young lady like me should do admin work. Throughout my career I was told my voice was an experiment. The first comment led to me applying for and getting a paid on air shift. The second caused  me to leave commercial radio. For many years. Later when our community got a public volunteer radio station- yours truly applied and hosts not one but two radio shows.

I always apply for a job I’m interested in. You just never know . Someone may say yes. Case in point I wanted to work with kids, I saw an ad teaching children Spanish, my experience was adults. But I tried. Thirteen years later and I now run my own center.

I have asked bands for interviews. What’s the worst that can happen? I hear no. I have already heard it. A few have said yes.

My most favorite leap … well you are a part of it. I have always wanted to write. REALLY write. But who possibly would want to read what I had to say? A dear friend of mine saw The Working Single Mom was looking for bloggers. I submitted a piece that was incredibly personal and we never published…a year later, geez I think even longer actually. Here we are.

No is easy to hear and let become a piece of negative talk we all play in our brains. But if a shy, failed cheerleader like me can use it for power. Mommas so can you.

Remember who you are….a magical creature. You are the keeper of hearts,hopes and dreams. No is nothing to magical beings like us.

 

<3 Caprise

Leave Your Critical Self Behind

Joel Osteen says, “If you don’t have something good to say….ZIP IT!” and that is good advice because have you noticed how critical we have become?  It seems like we are always complaining about something and finding fault with something else…complaining, judging, evaluating and finding fault have become as commonplace as brushing our teeth.  It starts first thing in the morning…the coffee line is too long, our kids are too slow, there is too much traffic, the news is all bad, people can’t drive, the weather isn’t right, etc., etc…

Consider how much energy we expend on complaining and being critical.  Imagine what could happen if we turned that into a positive experience; imagine if we actually looked for the good in situations; called attention to it; acted upon it.  There is good in everything but we often need to look hard to find it and sometimes we just have to trust that it is present whether we see it or not.  Faith is a very powerful tool that can be used to alter even the worst of circumstances. However, like any tool it must be used often in order for us to strength it.

Criticism can also be a powerful force for change if used in the correct fashion.  There is destructive criticism and there is constructive criticism.

Destructive criticism points out what is wrong with situations and people with no solution—that man is a slob, that woman is unhealthy, that building is dirty…

Constructive criticism can be used as force to correct problems and unite people for the greater good because it offers an action at the end of the complaint…that outfit doesn’t suit you, however I have one that does…there is trash everywhere so let’s pick it up…you are always late so let me buy you a new watch…

The most bothersome issue is that people fail to recognize that constant destructive criticism kills joy, good humor and hope…it causes people to despair and feel like life is just too much trouble. It can create a terrible momentum that becomes almost impossible for the target of criticism to overcome.

Think about the people in your life that are always finding fault with someone or something. How enlivening is it to be in their presence for more than 5 minutes??? The air can literally seem to become thick and foul. You may even feel as if a shadow descends upon you the longer you stay in their presence.

Criticism and cynicism shut life down instantaneously…possibility cannot exist where there is no listening for it and critical/cynical people have no field of vision for what is good or what is possible.

Critical/cynical people look through a particular filter that only allows them to see more of what they talk about and since they always talk about what doesn’t work or what is wrong, that is all they are able to see.  Their blindness to the positive possibilities that abound is not only dangerous to those within their circle of influence, it is contagious!

Most of them don’t even notice what limited vision they have given themselves.  They just go around believing that life sucks, people are awful, and that misery is the default setting that they must endure.

Stuck in this way of looking they will not even see a random act of kindness or goodwill…they will only continue to gather evidence that life is hard and people will hurt you.

Life is truly what you make it and we have the choice in every, single moment to interpret circumstances as good or bad.  We can call to the possibility in something or we can be defeated and harmed by it, the choice is always ours.

It takes a particular kind of person to see the good and call to the positive aspects in a situation…a person like this has the ability to transform any circumstance into something beneficial. That particular kind of person is in ALL of us – we simply have to let that inner optimist emerge.

You have the power to be a person like this…it takes courage, faith and strength of character and it takes the understanding that life is far more contributed to by the ongoing choice for good. The first step to a positive approach is to simply take that first step with an attitude of opportunity and confidence that what happens next in life is something to embrace rather than fear.

~Noelle

**From Noelle’s book, “Practical Change…Inspiration for Kicking Ass & Slaying Dragons”

We Are Limitless

What would you do if told you that you cannot create abundance? You cannot create abundance because it is already and always there. We instead create and impose limitations that keeps us away from our abundance. We are limitless.

The universe, God, the source, whatever it may be for you, always has what we need or more for us, ready waiting for us to reach, and achieve it. Our perceived limitations are the only thing that is stopping us.

This is why perception checking is a must. We can not expect to prosper living in negativity, for we will block anything we are attracting to us. 

I’ve noticed on my own personal journey and growth many many obstacles. I am a kind, loving, and generous person. The thing that boggled my mind is im such a good person, but yet i keep getting screwed over, again and again. Trying to figure out why I knocked myself out of a place of abundance and started basing my value on how others treated me and thought of me.

I more recently figured out my issues, I was allowing low vibration individuals into my circle, these people that have no desire to work on themselves would much rather knock people lower than them. Hence the term Misery loves company. I was allowing these type of people to measure myself worth and lets just say with them of the wheel it kept measuring up short.

Negativity steals abundance and so does non growth in fact these two things together are deadly to a fulfilling and abundant life.

After the last two years of getting rid of my own personal ick, I am finally realizing abundance is a constant natural state. That I place my own limitations and outcomes of abundance, and I can have it all if I allow myself to. I do not need someone to define what success, worth or abundance is for me because I found my path I see my roadblocks and i’m moving forward hammer in hand ready to tear down anything in my way.

Loving learning growing,

Ali

Birds Of A Feather

Growing up I heard birds of a feather flock together. This statement is only partially true, the more you hang around people the more you start to mirror them. Humans are naturally social creatures. The odd duck gets left behind, it’s kind of a evolutionary response to become like the people you surround yourself with.

The top five people you interact with will rub off on you, Including the people you interact with on social media. Actually I am starting to believe social media may have a as big or bigger impact on us than real life interactions. In person socialization for the most part is more filtered unless you are extremely close with that person. On social media there a little to no filters especially on negativity and the dark sides of an individual.

If you would I would like you to take a moment, scroll through your timeline and pay attention. How much of is it negative? I bet a majority of you will be surprised. You may think, what do I do now? I don’t want to unfriend this person I care about. I recommend changing the settings for following frequency and finding positive people and pages to see majority in your social media.

You can still love and be apart of people’s lives without letting their ish influence you.

I myself love to surround myself with people I aspire to be like, it keeps me on a path of continuous growth, and protects me from getting comfortable and sliding backwards. There are a few people I still talk to that I used to talk to everyday, once I started working on myself I outgrew them. It’s ok to outgrow people who are important to us. There have only been a handful a people that even though I loved them dearly, I had to let go and cut them out completely. This is because once I started healing and growing I realized they were a toxic influence on me. These people weren’t, and aren’t bad people, they had just become toxic to the path I had started on, and they would have pulled me back down before I would have ever been able to pull them up.

Surround yourself with the success, joy, love, and anything else you want to become. Find those qualities in others and find your soul tribe.

Learning, Loving, Growing

Ali

Cut Yourself A Break

Cut yourself a break.

Why is it that we are mean to ourselves? Not just rude, but down right mean. Since I was little everyone called me Rah-Rah Rachel. Lifting other people up was and well…. still is my entire identity. How did I insert a light switch into the way I talk to others, verses myself? I spend my days crafting ways to lift others up. Do they need a card with reasons why they are important, should I pay for their heating fuel with all my taxes, should I drop off flowers because they posted they had a rough week? I search.   I search day in and day out for how to help lift others, and yet I drop myself.

I do a nightly routine of squeezing my mama chunk roles, and self-loathing. I never even noticed I was doing it each night until my husband told me to stop, and I was perfect the way I was. I would grab my rolls and squeeze them tight, huffing and puffing about how unhappy with my body I was. I wouldn’t sit down and eat a warm meal, I was racing around to clean the dishes verses just stopping and putting me before a pile of stationary dishes. They weren’t going anywhere…. But I couldn’t stop myself or love myself enough to give myself a moment break.

My fellow mamas, I’m sure you’re in the same spot. You equate the price of shirt your looking at for yourself, into bottles of formula, day care costs, kid activities, laundry detergent. The shirt never makes it home because you don’t rank on the importance scale in your head.  YOU ARE IMPORTANT. You DO matter!  It’s not about the shirt. It’s about the concept!

Self-care isn’t all about bubble baths, and new clothing. Sometimes it’s not pinching your belly chunk or leaving the dishes. Sometimes its talking to yourself like you would a friend. It’s blasting a song, singing silly in the car with the windows down not caring who is watching, or sipping a cup of coffee in 5 minutes peace. Make yourself important. Put your needs first even once a day. If it is leaving the laundry till tomorrow. Leave it. It won’t go anywhere, but you deserve kindness. You deserve a moment to just yourself, however you choose to use it.

Stay Positive and Kind,

Rah- Rah Rachel

“Your trauma is valid. Even if other people have experienced “worse”. Even if someone else who went through the same experience doesn’t feel debilitated by it. Even if it “could have been avoided”. Even if it happened a long time ago. Even if no one knows. Your trauma is real and valid, and you deserve a space to talk about it. It isn’t desperate or pathetic or attention-seeking. It’s self-care. It’s inconceivably brave. And regardless of the magnitude of your struggle, you’re allowed to take care of yourself by processing and unloading some of the pain you carry. Your pain matters. Your experience matters, and your healing matters. Nothing and no one can take that away.” — Daniell Koepke

Operation: Kindness

I didn’t think up this idea by myself. A friend challenged me to put my positivity on paper. I have always been a gal who thrives on spreading kindness. Ever since I was little girl, that was my goal to make others feel important. But we all have had a plot twist moment. You know, that moment where you can picture everything about that moment, no matter how old you grow?

I remember flying to London in high school. As we rounded a corner in I saw someone homeless with a sign and a tattered blanket. I watched men in what looked like million-dollar suits walk by him, with painted looks of disgust. How? Sure, I was young and naive, but when did a person lose their worth? I knew I came from a close-knit small town, but it didn’t make sense. I walked over, handed him the money I had, and thrust the words that trembled on my tongue “You matter sir, and I hope you never forget that” He eyes welled with tears, and it broke my heart. How did so many people walk by him, but yet he felt invisible. I promised myself that I would make it my mission to see people. In whatever state of their life, to do my best not to judge, but to lift them up and remind them of their worth.

I had been blessed with a family who always did that, and my love bucket was filled. I wanted to make sure others were filled too! Now that I’m raising my own 3 kids, and am married, I have made it my mission to fill their buckets daily, as well as anyone I encounter. It is not often big ways, I’m lucky if I remember to bring the cup of coffee I brewed to work, verse leaving it on the counter. But in world I can be anything, I want to be kind. I want to make people smile and remember that they are capable of happiness. Since London, I have done it, and it has made me the happiest woman alive.

 

Stay Positive and Kind,

Rah- Rah Rachel

Either You Can Or You Can’t

“Whether you say you can or can’t… you’re right.”

Have you ever heard that before?

The first time I heard it I thought “What on earth does that mean?”

But my knowing how powerful the mind is, I realized that THAT is what it was about.  Our minds are so powerful.  Things we say over and over again, in our minds, does indeed become What Is So.

So if you keep telling yourself you can…. then you can,  You will OR at least you’ll give it 100%!

And…. If you keep telling yourself that you cannot…. Then you won’t.  You’ll talk yourself out of it before you even attempt.

BUT…. YOU get to be right.  Do you want to be right?  Some people sell their souls to be right.  It means more to them to be right than it does to be joyful or fulfilled or successful.  Those “got-to-be-right” peeps… they’ll stay where they are, and maybe blame their upbringing or their lifestyle or their physical frailties.  BUT all that… THAT’S a story.  A story to stay complacent, stay stuck, stay period.

If you want to have something happen and you want to see what you’re made of and you want to believe in your heart that you can…. then do one thing.  Just do one thing to work toward it.  Say positive statements to yourself that will train your mind to know what it Can Do.

In the meantime…. Just do the next thing.

Your God Girl,

Tracy xoxo