A chameleon is a small lizard as we know it, whose skin changes to adapt to its surroundings. Do you ever feel like a chameleon adapting and changing yourself just to try to fit in with those around you? Many of us do this, subconsciously, due to the fact that we put ourselves in a personal survival space. Whether it be childhood trauma, poor life choices, or even unhealthy friendships or relationships, every single one of us has experienced this uncomfortable feeling of not feeling good about ourselves or fitting in. It can be called anxiety, insecurity, low self-esteem or even fear. These feelings have taken up space far too long in MY head, how about yours?
The most difficult challenge to overcoming or combating these critters is BELIEVING IN YOURSELF! I know, easier said than done, right? It can be done…but just like anything in life, it takes work. HARD WORK. Daily, weekly, hourly and every second of the day kind of work.
Many times in life I’ve found that chick negative Nancy dancing around in my head. Telling me things I didn’t want to hear or believe. “You’re not pretty, You’re too fat,You’re not qualified enough,You don’t make enough money”. Having this song and dance constantly rehearsing in my head eventually lead me to BELIEVE these crazy thoughts. Thus, causing daily anxiety, unnecessary fears and most definitely low-self esteem.
A dear friend of mine introduced me to the power of positivity and positive affirmations by sending me a surprise bundle of books in the mail.
(This friend of mine and I had lost touch over the years and had recently reconnected).
In order to combat these never ending worn out recordings in my head, I took that care package as a hint, and decided to combat those lyrics replaying in my head by using affirmations. Yes, you know ~ those words strung together to make you feel good. THEY work! Although I was unfamiliar with the practice of using affirmations and changing my internal self-talk, I decided I would try.
Part of this rewiring of my brain involved journalizing and also doing daily readings. In the beginning of my self-help endeavor, I started reading anything and everything that shouted positivity. Some of the materials included spiritual and religious books and daily spiritual readings.
As with anything else, it takes a while for something to become a habit, but I found myself craving that little bit of “me” time and started restructuring my day to fit this in. I was waking up earlier in the morning and retreating to my bedroom earlier in the evenings. I even bought daily meditation books! And guess what?
I STARTED FEELING BETTER ABOUT MYSELF.
Little by little, I WAS changing, I felt it, and it felt GOOD. I was smiling more, not worrying as much, and learning how to let go of the little things that liked to ride the roller coaster in my head. I also learned the fine art of forgiveness~that was HUGE. I felt happier and not as weighed down by the worry, negativity or trauma of the past. I’m not saying any of this was easy, mind you, but with a daily routine, anything is possible!
My daily routine, now five years later … consists of morning meditation reading and reflection time and also time in the evening before bed either journalizing, reading, or doing some adult art therapy coloring to unwind from the day. “ME time.” Doing THIS has changed my life, changed my attitude to gratitude and also inspires me to help others around me.
Adios negative Nancy.