Tag Archives: picture

Photo Memories

Photo Memories

Over the past weeks that we have been staying at home, Im willing to wager that you have been taking more pictures than normal. And even if you havent, when you do, the dilemma always is how can I make my pictures look better?

All new phones come standard with high quality cameras and the ability to edit photos right on the phone. Since I use an Apple iPhone, I am familiar with its built in editing capabilities…. and they really are very good, But I often find that Id like to do additional things to my photos.

Snapseed (free) is a very robust Photo editing app and has become my go to editing app for my photos. In addition to all the standard editing functions It has features like the ability to easily erase features in the picture, like telephone wires or a stray objects that are distracting. It also has very advanced features that were only previously found in expensive apps. I highly recommend giving it a try.

Group shot (.99) is in app that literally performs magic. You know all the times you took a group photo that was perfect except for that one person with their eyes closed. With GroupShot the trick is to take multiple photos of the group. Then you can replace that one person with their eyes closed with them in another photo where they have their eyes open. Its as easy is swiping over their face in one photo and then swiping over their face in another photo and presto the first photo now has everyone with their eyes open.

If youre a fan of filters, Prisma (free w/ in app purchases) is an app that will transform your photo into what looks like a painting or water color. There are so many options that It is often difficult to choose which one to use, but the results are amazing.

After playing around with some of these apps, you will be amazed at what a good photographer you really are. You will have finished products you are really proud of.


The Pictures In My Mind

  Sometimes I paint pictures. Not real pictures. I am not artistically inclined with drawing or painting. But, I do create images in my head. Images of how I think things should look or be. Some of those images have been instilled in me from childhood, things that should be normal, some are new images, and some are blurry images.
  From childhood, I had these pictures in my head of what my adult years would look like. The  family that I would have, what my home would look like, even small details such as decorations and landscaping. I’m learning, though, that those images I have to let go of. Because those images are not my reality. My reality is very different than the images in my head that I have created so many years ago.
  My reality is that I do things with my children. Alone. I take care of, and raise my children. Alone. I give my children advice, words of encouragement, and discipline. Alone.
  Don’t get me wrong, there are many people that speak truth into my children, offer advice, and words of encouragement. But the primary responsibility falls on my shoulders, and mine alone. That was my choice. I chose to walk this path by myself. And most days, I’m fine. Most days I could not be more thankful for the choice I made to walk this path.
  But today, it was different. I was able to steal away time with my precious kids, who are getting older, more independent, and are beginning to need me less, and I was able to take them individually to do something that they enjoyed. Which is amazing. We normally are so busy doing things together, that the precious moments I am able to connect with them on an individual basis mean so much to me, and I hope to them. Today, it hit me like a ton of bricks that the picture I have in my head of what a family looks like is something that is so very different than what my reality is. And while our time together was so needed and so fun, there was this empty place that took my breath away.
  For whatever reason, today, I wanted a counter part with me while I was taking my kids on our outings. I desperately wanted someone with me to do life with. I know I am capable of raising my kids, providing for them, and making and creating life and memories with them. But there was a void tonight. A void that I don’t think my children felt, but I felt it. I felt it in a big way. For me, while it was great spending time and doing fun activities with my kids, I couldn’t help but wonder, how many more outings will it be just me taking my kids on? How many vacations will it be just my children and I? I know I don’t need a counter part, I am capable of doing things alone with my children and we have a great time. But that pesky image I have in my head of what things should look like, sometimes creeps in and makes me a bit anxious. Sad even at times.
  After the outings that I went on with my kids, we got home, and all I could do was sit in my room and cry. I really don’t even know why I was crying. I was just really feeling the loneliness that has been there for many years. Because even when I did have a partner, I was still alone. It was still my kids and I doing things. I think I felt that sadness because that’s been the norm for our family and it’s not a norm that I wanted or that they wanted. Or maybe it’s just me, in my head. Holding on to that image that I painted so many years ago.
  I know those moments of sadness will creep in every now and again. I know I will feel those moments of sadness. And it’s okay to feel it. It’s okay to acknowledge it. And it’s okay to move on from it. Which, is what I am doing. We are a family, even if it doesn’t match the pictures in my head. Because let’s face it, many of the pictures we create in our head doesn’t match our reality. And it’s okay.

No Filter

I turned 48 in November. As I do every year I made myself a promise.

This would be the year of no filter.

I started simply. I removed Snapchat and any photo editing apps from my electronics.

When I did take a picture I added a cheeky caption- “me in my bathroom while my child is getting ready for bed.”

Surprisingly my friends were into it.

I also did this in a response to strengthen my confidence. I still struggle. I am not going to tell you I don’t. I am not a size five. I just cut my hair off and I’m covered in tattoos. I am not the stereotype of what sometimes our world tells us is attractive.

And I know I’ve sang this song before, but sometimes there will be a wobble and I need a reminder.

I also have a daughter. What am I saying to her by editing my photos before posting them? It’s one thing to not post a photo because my eyes are closed or maybe my smile is a bit goofy. But to change it to the point I don’t look like me.

I can’t show her that.

Although, I do like the filter that puts tacos around my head.

There is a great quote “in a society that profits from self doubt, liking yourself is a rebellious act.”

Every week I write these blogs encouraging you all to love yourselves meanwhile I’m struggling.

That’s my secret to share in this year of no filter.

I am a fabulous cheerleader for others.

Me- I need to work on.

So with each picture I post in color, without a fun Snapchat filter, I’m learning to love the freckled, wrinkled face staring back at me.

Look Mommas if you dig the animal ears, you do you. Seriously. But you are gorgeous with or without those ears.

<3 Caprise

Four Steps To Tinder-Time aka How To Build The Perfect Profile

After WAY too much experience on Tinder, I have gleaned the essence of the perfect profile – something that will increase your odds of attracting a man who is halfway decent and better than a serial killer.

If you are looking for a hook-up, a shag, a slam-bam-thank-you-man and nothing more, put up your sexy pics, don’t bother with a blurb, and watch Looking for Mr. Goodbar – because you’d be  safer meeting a dude at a dive bar in Barstow (look it up), where you can at least check out his friends and assess how he smells in person.

The world can be a dangerous place, especially for us gals.

If you are like the rest of us over-forty female fun-seekers, you probably have hopes of meeting a decent guy, dating a bit, falling a bit, fu$%-like-bunnies, then enjoying a blissful life of romance and love. This is why building your profile carries a weight equal to writing a Presidential inaugural address. This could be the rest of your life… and the world is counting on you to keep us out of war, stop global warming, and save the planet.

Be savvy when creating your profile.  Don’t rush.  Think about it.  And create it with Tinder Loving Care.


Tinder feeds off your Facebook account for your age, education, and photos, so if this concerns you, create a private album only you can see. This way, you post photos you might not normally post on your Facebook (aka shots of your cleave).

1st photo – Primary photo:

You have five seconds to grab his attention. Ergo, your primary photo is where you put your best foot forward.  This is the picture that flies across the Tinder screen as men frantically search for the perfect woman (aka Jessica Alba).

Your primary photo should be some sort of headshot – showing your bright eyes, your sparkling smile, and the color of your hair.  Your face should reasonably fill the screen so that a man will stop, attention captured, and explore the rest of your profile to learn more about wonderful YOU.


* You making duck face. (Only chicks dig chicks making duck face.)

* You making cross-eyed, dumb “I’m-so-fun” face. (If a dude wants Goofy, he’ll go to Disneyland.)

* You with your tits pushed up and out. (You reap what you sew.)

* You and five of your bff’s.  (Where’s Waldo?  Swipe left!)

* You way, way, way far away on a beach or a ski slope. (He’s not looking for an ant.)

* You kissing your pet (especially if it’s a cat).


2nd photo – Full body shot:

I do not mean a naked body shot – rather, a photo that shows you head to toe.  We want him to see that you do, in fact, have legs. (And if you don’t, own it!  There’s someone for everyone.)  The same goes for weight.  If there’s more of you to love – so be it.  A lot of dudes dig the zaftig gal.  And the ones who don’t, you don’t want to meet –  because they will be pissed that you aren’t the size of a thirteen-year-old girl.  (Even if he’s a bald dude who wore a hat in all of his own photos).  With profile pics, honesty is the best policy.

NOTE: I know it’s what’s in your heart and mind that matters.  Today’s culture, where photo-driven technology has made looks more valued than intellect, modern romance has been reduced to the superficial (at least at first).  Connection starts with the physical and one can only hope to find a man with the depth to hang around long enough for the physical to grow into something more.  Moms, raise your sons well, because your daughters are the yous of the future (aka dating existentialism).


* You in a bikini, twenty years ago.

* You twenty pounds lighter, twenty years ago.

* You… twenty years ago.

* A full body shot of anyone who is NOT you right now.


3rd photo – Sporty shot:

Remember, these are men we’re dealing with.  They want to know you live an “active lifestyle,” you care about your personal appearance, and that you will somehow manage to never, ever age.



* You athletically eating a cheeseburger. (Doesn’t count!)

* You bench pressing 200 pounds. (He needs to think he can take you in a fight.)

* You zip-lining. (Nobody looks good zip-lining.)

* You in a football uniform, padded up. (You’re on the wrong site, sister.)

* You in world’s tiniest bikini, hand-standing on the beach, with your tits hanging

out. (You reap what you sew.)


4th photo – You have TWO choices:

  1. Intellectual shot:

You looking “intellectual”: reading a book, wearing glasses, playing the piano, contemplating the universe. If you are a teacher, a shot in front of your class; if you are an attorney, you in the law library; if you are a stripper, you in the law library.


  1. Homemaker shot:

You baking, planting, wearing an apron, painting a house, anything that says “Martha Stewart,” because every dude wants to bone Martha Stewart.

If possible, include A and B, as men ultimately don’t know what they want.


5th shot – Sexy shot:

I did not say “sex” shot.  Remember the song, “Man! I Feel Like A Woman?” (If you don’t, you are too young to read this and should pick up a copy of Teen Vogue).  You want to capture the essence of sex.  Let him know that underneath all your fabulousness, there is a real woman.  Tits and ass don’t equal sexy.  Tousled hair and a smile, LBD and heels, even barefoot in a man’s shirt – a woman owning her femininity is what grabs the good ones.  When you feel sexy, you look sexy, and men like sexy.

6th shot – Optional – for the moms:

If you are a single mom, you must mention this fact in your blurb.

You also have the option of putting a photo of your kids with you in your pics (do not put a photo of just your kids.  It is super creepy and just wrong). This is a personal choice.  If you are divorced, assume your ex will come across this photo – because I promise, he is Tindering as well.  Ask yourself if this will cause unneeded stress in your already strained relationship (even though he has a photo with your kids in his profile pics). If you decide to include a family photo, use it as your final shot.

You don’t want to give the impression you are pimping out your kids in order to get a date.  Personally, I did include a family shot for several reasons:  I think I am a good mom and am proud of this; my kids turned out great and I am proud of them; and the photo shows we love each other.  Most importantly, the shot was taken in Southern France, so if a dude recognizes we are on the beach in Nice he gets bonus points!


– Don’t use photos without you in them. (We’ve all seen sunsets and puppies.)

– More than six shots make you a narcissist.

– If the photo is blurry, you are hiding something.

– If the photo is over or under exposed, you are hiding something.

– Dudes don’t care about your baby picture (or any picture that isn’t you NOW).




You have 200 characters to make a blazing first impression.  Something is better than nothing, but less is more.  Do not use deep quotes or song lyrics.  Do not be too specific.  Lead with what efficiently sums up the type of person you are and list an interest that gives a dude something to connect with. Then briefly state what you are looking for in a man.



Do not leave your blurb blank.  In Tinder speak, blank blurbs mean you just want to get laid.

Do not say you are looking to “Netflix and chill.”  This is Tinder code for you just want to get laid. (Unless this is what you want, and if so, see WARNING: Stupid Girls.)

Consider the following two blurbs:

  1. “Fun-loving astrophysicist enjoys scuba diving, salsa dancing, and Fargo. Seeks honest, intelligent man for coffee, conversation, connection – and perhaps more, should the stars align (pun intended). No hook-ups please.”
  2. “I.T. professional, Stanford grad, sports fanatic; enjoys yoga, the outdoors and a good Hemmingway novel; vegetarian, but not overtly so; non-drinker, but able to limbo. Seeks fun and relaxed partner. Hoping for LTR but happy to date.  No hook-ups.

(NOTE: LTR is a Tinder acronym, aka “Tindernym,” for lifetime romance and/or long term relationship.)


These blurbs have it all: personality, profession, sport, hobbies, a dash of wit, and relationship goals.  These profiles will get hundreds of hits.

Now consider this blurb:

“Overwrought, unemployed single mom with deadbeat ex seeks guy to take her to dinner, so she can get blindingly drunk, forget her problems, and make out in the car.  No hook-ups.  Gluten free.”

Unfortunately, this profile will also get hundreds of hits.

Finally, there is this blurb:

“Happily married, gorgeous movie star with rockin’ bod, billion dollar company, perfect children, and the initials Jessica Alba seeks YOU! Middle aged man with a paunch and mid-life-crisis who refuses to grow up and give any decent woman a chance because he thinks he can get me.”

Still, the same amount of hits.  Let’s face it, dudes don’t read the blurbs. Or worse… they do and don’t care.



* Go to the App Store on you cell phone.

* Tap on the free Tinder application.

* Done!


* On your phone, open your Tinder app.

* Go to “settings” (the nuts and bolts icon).

* Once inside, tap on your photo over “view profile.”

(This will show you what your Tinder profile looks like.)

* Tap “Edit Info.”

* Pull photos from Facebook and arrange them as desired.  Insert your “blurb.”

* Once completed, tap out to the main menu and go to, “Discovery Settings.”

* Select the parameters of your potential mate.

* Tap out and tap on the flame.



If you would like to read more of P.Charlotte’s musings, you can find her here:


Also be sure to follow her on Instagram and Facebook at pcharlottelinsday.