Three years ago I had the idea that I should put out a yearly workbook to help you guys design a better new year…I worked on it a little but it didn’t materialize into form. Today I completed the outline for that workbook which will be in your hands by October. It was a process, one that I could not really see because back in 2016 I thought it was a failed idea. God had more things to teach me before that workbook would be all it could be, I didn’t know that then…I could not see.
Often we are in the middle of a process that is bringing us to greater good yet in the middle it looks like a hot mess…it’s hard, sad, confusing…we feel inept, like we failed and we think that life is not working out for us the way that it should. We want instant gratification and quick results…at almost 51 I can promise you that anything worth anything does not come without doing the work to earn it. Even though I know this and understand it, I still want everything to happen sooner rather than later and patience is still something that I ‘mostly’ lack.
I never used to be good at the “trust the process” thing…people would say that and it would piss me off…in my opinion the process should hurry the F up. That didn’t do any good of course, things take as long as they take and I saw that I could either learn to accept that and embrace it or I could just be aggravated all the time.
About 4 years ago I really started to learn the gift of trusting the process, by this time in my life I had seen enough things turning out well to know that if I was living my life right things ultimately would work out for me. To me trusting that life has a process means trusting that God is always working things out for the good and I can rarely see the whole plan at any given time.
That means that I have to let go of my burning wish to control every freaking thing and TRUST that things are lining up and occurring the way that they are meant to. This also means understanding that my way is the inferior way…my will and my way are simply the means that my mind uses to try and control every thing…I have come to understand that there are a LOT of things that I cannot control and I have exhausted myself for almost 5 decades trying to make things bend to my will.
Not anymore, after the car accident last year in August I clearly came to see that there is very little that I can control—-HOWEVER what was meant to harm me in all of that turned out to BLESS me—-every, single aspect of it. I learned so much from that reckoning. (For those of you that don’t know, I was driving along minding my own business when a construction truck and trailer jumped their lane and came at me head on…I saw it coming and I was able to swerve and avoid a head on, however they completely sheared off the entire drivers side of my brand new car including the wheel…by the GRACE of God I was able to climb out my moonroof and I made a complete recovery, replaced the car etc). That incident taught me truly that I had no control over some things.
What I learned was really how to trust the process, at the time that all looked like a terrible mess and as I said it turned out to bless me in every way and really, truly changed the game for me—-I learned so much about certain things—- it was a process that in the middle I could not see—-yet now a year later I understand what God was doing.
That incident, moving back to VT and leaving my corporate job are all situations that have schooled me in “trusting the process” in ALL of those things I could not see to the end in the middle, in ALL of those situations I did not understand the entire plan—I had to step moment-by-moment trusting that everything was working as it should….and it WAS…
My message to you…TRUST THE PROCESS…you are being led where you are supposed to go even when you cannot see…in these situations you must walk by FAITH and not by sight. Keep breathing, keep moving…better things are coming.
Did you ever notice when you ask God for patience things start to heat up in the world of impatience?
The grocery lines are longer, the red lights are more often and the little old lady that you let cross the street is going slower than a turtle. And THAT is how you will become more patient. In the middle impatient moments. Yup! How else would you learn? Only then can you retrain yourself toward being more patient. Only in a long line, while you’re late will you be pushed to your limit to see if you really can adapt to this new way of being. When you pray for patience, God is not going *snap* & give it to you, he’s going to create situations for you to hone your skills. To sharpen the blade, to heal the wound to humble the judgement.
You can do it. You just have to look at it with NEW glasses on. See the beauty in the moment, notice the children around you or the glimmer of the sun on the snow or the consideration you hold in your heart for those who just might be having a tough week never mind a tough day. Allow others the space to go at their own pace because you are full of love and kindness. Right?
You think I’m crazy? Okay… think about teaching a young child to walk. They put one foot in front of the other trying to understand how it all works to only fail and fail and fail. Falling after one step. Falling after two steps. It’s not coming too easy for them. They have to train themselves. Focus on what is working and what isn’t working and get better at it each time. This is how you will learn patience. One step at a time.
Try it. If you haven’t already….go ahead…ask for patience. Pray about it. God will deliver to you the perfect situations you’ll need to learn just that. Are you ready?
Your God Girl,
Having Faith in the younger generation…This past Saturday, I witnessed the high school graduation of my eldest daughter. I was so excited to see her get her diploma. Then, it was the feeling of: oh no, not another long and boring speechy occasion. You know the type. Superintendents, principals, student body, valedictorian, etc. I wanted to cry. Since my kids’ name is toward the back of the class, we had a long wait to go.
The salutatorian speech was everything that her parents could hope. Strong, fierce, determined. Justified with the fact that she is riding a scholarship from Stanford. Congratulations!
However, it was the valedictorian’s speech that really surprised me. This young lady had picked the very taboo subject of mental illness.
She talked about her struggles of dealing with depression during her high school career. The overwhelming sadness, not being able to sleep. Feeling like you just can’t get it. The drowning of everyday life and how sometimes you just can’t get where you need to be. Emotional pain and literally going thru the motions of life. This young lady stood at the podium and shared her story. I was literally blown away because she had the guts to take this challenge. A true mic drop moment.
We all have lessons to learn in this life. Whatever path we take, it’s ours. My lesson on this sacred day is to have faith in the younger generation. It called to mind that i am really not empathetic to the stars of tomorrow. How many times I curse behind them in the line at the coffee shop while they are adamant about watching the cell phones. Now, I will give a generous pause before I pass judgement again. Maybe the current generation knows more than what we give them credit for. This young lady certainly did. Just maybe, they could be a little bit better as well.
Striving for exceptional—-Tristen Ahlsey