Tag Archives: overwhelmed

Lost & Confused, Do The Next Thing

If you’re lost and confused, Do The Next Thing…

One minute my life looked like this and the next **SNAP** it looked like that.  One minute I was going in that direction and then **SNAP**, I’m going in this direction.

Have you ever been so overwhelmed that you couldn’t see right in front of your face?

So anxious that you didn’t have an answer to something simple?

So confused that you weren’t certain how you were going to make it through another day?

I did.  It was awful.  I couldn’t get out of my own way.  Why was I able to manage my life for the past 50 years so extremely well and then all of a sudden, I was lost in the middle of my days?  I couldn’t see the overload until it was on top of me and, but by then, it was too late. Some days, I couldn’t breath …or at least it felt like it.  I used to have everything all figured out and on task and in line.  And then  **SNAP**, I had no idea about so much.  And trying to keep up with everything was exhausting.

It’s called trauma.  It’s called PTSD.  It’s called “Do the Next Thing”.  That was my mantra.  “Do the Next Thing”.   Until I got on the other side of it.  Until I healed that part of me and could manage my life again, I just kept telling myself “Do the Next Thing”.  Every Day.  All Day.

Get out of bed…do the next thing. Brush my teeth…do the next thing. Wash my face…do the next thing. Have something to eat…do the next thing.  I kept it so simple.  I managed what I could manage.  I took on what I could take on.  I did what I could do.   And everything else waited.

So the next time you can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel and you’re feeling overloaded and lost and confused…..Do the Next Thing.

 

Your God Girl,

Tracy

Finding Reality Outside Of The Box

Finding Reality Outside of The Box

By Cassandra Burnham

Today I wrote a note for myself on my office whiteboard. It read simply, “Forget the Box”.

What is the box? It’s me. More precisely, my life. It’s the person everyone else wants me to be and all the crap they want me to take. It’s their opinions and judgements. The box is full of all of the expectations they throw at me and it’s tied up with the pretty bow that is the “perfect” mom, daughter, worker, parent, friend…. But it’s not who I truly am. And it’s not what I want my life to be. I’m not perfect and I don’t belong in the box. I don’t want to live the life they want for me and I’m tired of trying.

Perhaps you, too have lived “the box”. You might not have even consciously realized it or considered what it meant. But you’d know the feeling. The feeling of constant pressure and demands to fit the mold, be the perfect whatever. Feeling like you’re constantly bending to fit the image that others want to seestraight-A student, agreeable daughter, dutiful wife, flawless PTO mom or live-to-work, hard-cracking executive. It’s exhausting really, cramming all of that into one person and trying to live up to so many high expectations. Seriously, the box sucks.

For me, one day the box just got too full and I realized that I was tired of shining those ribbons and I couldn’t possibly fit anything else inside. I was done with that overstuffed piece of crap – tired of pretending and tired of it all. But I’d been in there so long, I’d forgotten how to express my own truth and live life on my own terms. I’d spent so many years trying to be the perfect student, daughter, mom, friend, worker – that I had no idea who I really was (other than spectacularlynot perfect”).

But here’s what I did know. I have tattoos, I swear and I hate doing repetitive work. I hate making decisions and I hate homework. I hate being controlled and I hate being judged. Most of all, I hate that all of the people who had put me in that box had spent years controlling and judging me – and worse I let them. And when I opened that lid, got past all of the things I’d been hiding that I thought were so shameful – all of that hatred and anger, I found a few gems. I realized that I’m kind and loving and I have a lot to give. Not only was the box full of other people’s shit, but it was also full of lies grounded in self-defeat and fear.

So here I am. Climbing out of the box, working on change. From now on, I will focus on the people who don’t constantly fill the box. Instead I will seek out people who feel my warmth and know my heart and accept me for every bad choice I make, foul word I say or action they don’t agree with. I’ll be kinder to myself in the form of time and energy devoted to me so that I can figure out what I want and need. And I’ll practice positive self-talk that doesn’t give space to the old doubts that led me to the box. I don’t know where this journey is going and it’s scary as hell. But it’s time to figure out what life is like outside of the box where aything is possible and the only limits are the ones we put on ourselves.

Forget the box. It’s on my whiteboard. If you know what I’m talking about and you’re still in your bow-wrapped prison, I invite you to step out with me into the sunshine. And remember, you let people put you there – only you can pull yourself out of it.

Overwhelmed & Finding Direction

“When my heart is overwhelmed, lead me to the rock that is higher than I”-Psalm 61:2

I struggled today with what I have to blog about or share. I am getting in to a rut where it seems like a lot lately has been about misery…only to bring in the year of 2018 with a BANG of more. Including but not limited to ICU, ambulance ride, non-responsive, leaking ceiling, ….not all of those things happened to ME, but have thus far- 4 days in- happened to someone(s) I love.

As you all know, we post many motivational sayings through the day on our Facebook page in hopes that even if it’s just one person the saying is speaking to, that one person needed it, and all is well within ourselves 🙂 I know that not everything we post is meant for everyone, and we weed through the comments-we do pay attention! 🙂 But if just ONE person….. I posted this one and it spoke to me, my heart is certainly overwhelmed at the moment and the madness needs to clear so I can move forward. This is one of those time periods in my life where I need to hand over my worries, concerns and pray for help and guidance and trust that there is a plan, as we are so always telling each and every one of you. There is a plan, I know this, but somedays we needed to be reminded ourselves.  I like to think that you all help me as much as we help you. And for this I thank you.

Love to All-Kim