Tag Archives: opportunity

Press Reset

My recent move across the country has not only given me a beautiful home with a peaceful back yard but a reset of my priorities and sense of ease,self-assurance and finding space to overwhelm my soul with the things that bring me joy.  It took great courage to pack up everything I own, say “goodbye til I see you again” to everyone I know and trust that there is something more for me with my life near my son.  It took being brave in the face of ridicule and doubt, it took perseverance to endure in the middle of being tired and doing it alone, It took great strength to endure when I was afraid and wanted to change my mind.  But here I am, on the other side.

In the middle of the “hard”, there lived a peaceful-joyful feeling deep, deep inside.  And every problem that was in front of me was solved, every messy situation was cleared, every door was opened and with every step I took it got easier and simpler and happier.  It kept working out.  I now know I was supposed to be here.  It all turned out well.  It is well.

When I set my eyes on God’s will and not my own…. I remember this truth “You are my daughter whom I love; with whom I am well pleased.”  Pleased not because of what I do, but because of who I am.  I am relaxed in myself.  There is no fast-paced life to run in, there is no keeping up with the neighbors, there is no comparison or competition or need to be better.  I am already better.  I am already beautiful and amazing and wonderful.  I don’t have to prove anything.  I get to Just Be. Living a simpler life in a slower community helps, bet the reset of ME is where it had to start ….choosing to reset.

 

Your God Girl,

Tracy XOXO

Rolling With The Punches

I have been rolling with the punches lately, these last couple of weeks have been filled with bad news and tough decisions.

The online schooling hasn’t been going the greatest for my oldest. Staying on track has been a struggle for my little guy and even with the amazing support of the school, he is falling behind again.

We have an opportunity starting the first of the year to enroll him some where else, and I am jumping on it!

With my real estate career, I started in the slow season. Looking at the number I knew I needed to find something part time for the off season. I needed something that was flexible enough for my career. One of my friends told me about and opening in her company as a school bus driver. Not only is it decent pay, it means no extra daycare costs! I am in week two of training, and I absolutely love it.

I also traded in my dieing car two weeks ago. Got a truck I loved and unknowingly to me had major issues. After two weeks with out a vehicle I finally have my truck back from the shop. Thankfully I found out the issues within the first couple of weeks so the place I bought it from covered all the repairs and the tow. In the process I found a great mechanic!

All in all things could be worse. During this time frame I learned how to better count my blessings instead of my problems. Also how to find the positive in any situation I may face.

Until next time…

Always be unapologetically true too yourself,

-Ali

In Case I Never See You Again…

In Case I Never See You Again…

How many of us conduct our relationships based on the phrase above?  I would guess very few.  We think there is plenty of time and plenty of opportunity to fix whatever isn’t working… in a relationship, in a job, with a parent, in a living situation…and so we say things to ourselves like “I will make concessions and settle for less than excellence today because I can do something about it tomorrow”, “I will stay here with him or her today because it is comfortable and easier and less confrontational and later I will experience real intimacy and real joy”, “I will hold onto my animosity and anger for you today because later on I will tell you how I really feel and we will make things right”, “I will withhold my heart from you today because you might hurt me and so I will not share my deepest love with you right now because I will do it later on when it seems safer”…and on and on and on……

Imagine with me for a moment that there was only today…what would not be acceptable to you then?  If there was only today would you waste one, single second withholding yourself, putting things off, accepting unacceptable behavior or putting up with no results???    Would you???

 Or would you throw caution to the wind and change some things…would you forgive people, would you repair relationships, would you get rid of things that didn’t work, would you take chances, would you STOP caring what other people think, would you love like your life depended on it???

Do you know that death is unbearable only when you have unfinished business with the people that died…do you understand that living also becomes unbearable when there is loads of unfinished business and a plethora of words unspoken?

In case I never see you again, what must I say to you right now in this moment to be complete?   What a different life we would have if we were complete in every moment…how that would change us…

Most of us are saving stuff for the right moment…the right moment is now…the world is an interesting place these days….funky people are doing crazy things and that requires some of us to remind others of us to stop waiting for the “right” moment—live your life RIGHT NOW…stop putting up with people and things that don’t work, stop withholding yourself from other people, stop killing your vitality and joy with undelivered communications and unexpressed anger…you think that nobody notices because you are being “nice” instead of being REAL…authenticity is what gives life and sometimes being authentic is very unattractive, however it is real and it is true and it is life altering…

Do you remember the Velveteen Rabbit…only when he was a mess and all his fur was gone and his stuffing was coming out, only then did he become “REAL”…

Real life and real love are messy folks…you have to roll up your sleeves and delve in…authentic is getting all the way in and being real all the way through…sometimes it feels great and sometimes not so great, but all the way along you feel alive…you have to get in there and mix it up—stop looking in from the sidelines waiting for the right moment to live.

It’s like the difference between mixing meatballs with a spoon because you don’t want to get “ all messy” and mixing meatballs with your hands…sleeves rolled up, rings off and you just dig into the bowl and mix it and then you shape the meatballs with your hands…

Careful, brittle people mix things with spoons, they shape meatballs with spoons…they don’t want to get dirty or sticky or messy and those people’s meatballs have dry spots and they don’t taste good because they carry the flavor of a person with an inability to fully experience life…NEWS FLASH : real life is messy, it’s fun, it’s heartbreaking, you can get dirty and broken and you can also experience true, profound JOY…

Live your life folks, mix things with your hands, get in there and roll up your sleeves…another holiday is coming, another year…will you be joyful this Christmas?  Will you be complete in every moment with the people that you love and even those you don’t?  Will you ask yourself what would I say now to this person in case I never see them again?

You would be such a gift this holiday season if you lived like that…instead of being stressed and pissed and harried, what if you were gracious and grateful and complete?  What a gift you would be to yourself…undelivered communications are what make us sick and tired and unparticipatory…

YOU be the GIFT this Christmas Season and love people like your life depended on it because it does…

I love you guys…go out there and LIVE OUT LOUD.

-Noelle

 

Correcting Karma…

Continuing the countdown to 50 and the soul searching that goes with it…

I put a post up yesterday on FB, asking if you could give yourself advice 20 years ago what would it be?   My answer was “take better care of people’s hearts and your own.  Some damage you can’t undo.”

My God– the damage that we can do to other people when we are broken and don’t know any better.  I am famous for saying that people do the best they can for who they are in that moment and I believe that even when it’s me making the mess.  I don’t make messes anymore –of people’s hearts or my own, at 50 I am smarter, wiser and more understanding of what is actually possible and what is not.  However, I was young and stupid once and broken and bouncing off walls and making messes of people’s hearts and my own.  Those were darker times…when I was broken and didn’t even understand that…my childhood was more something to ‘survive’ than something to ‘celebrate’ and that left its mark which wasn’t something I recognized until so many years later…

By the Grace of God many of the people that walked with me during those times are still my friends…I have a good collection of ‘lifers’ in my mix…and without them I would not even be here typing this to you.  They steadied me when I was floundering, they took me in, they loved me, they tried to direct me, they stood with me in my crazy and they never judged…

When I had my son I stopped the crazy train, I made a decision that I was not going to wrap him up in my dysfunctionalism and so I took him at 2 years old and moved away from everything and everyone that I had known for 36 years…we went South to TN and there I learned how to be stable and solid…I didn’t take child support, I had no family around me…just me and GOD and the friends that I made into family…and there we resided for 12 years until 2015 when I came back to New England, but that is a story for another day.

Last week I had the privilege of apologizing to someone that I devastated almost 20 years ago…by the Grace of GOD we are still close, yet I had never really had the opportunity to say how sorry I was for the way that I had left for no good reason…except that I was impatient, young, stupid, careless and broken.  This person has always taken care of me, protected me and helped me to be a better person…he certainly did not deserve the havoc I wreaked on his life all those years ago…to his credit he has never held it against me.  Yet I have never forgotten it and funnily enough (because karma never loses an address even when it is mine) a few years ago someone did the exact same thing to me in the exact same way and when it happened I knew it was karma coming to say “hey”…and so I took that hit as gracefully as I could and it taught me that there are some things you just cannot take back…

What I did learn, in all this, is that if you are blessed enough to be given a chance to repair karma, take it…that is a rare opportunity and I believe that it creates an immense amount of goodwill.  It takes a very self-aware person to realize when they have done damage to another human and then to apologize for it.  I think that it creates healing for both people and good things always come from a place of healing.

 

 

 

Self-Care On The Daily To Do List

 

Self-care is one of the most important things on my daily “to-do” list.  I rush around every day preparing breakfast, packing lunches, ensuring there are after school snacks in the house, checking homework, running kids to practices, making supper, shooing them into the shower, chasing them to brush their teeth and making sure they both have something clean AND wrinkle free to wear the next day. Be sure to insert 9+ hours of work and 2+ hours of housework into that timeline.  THIS is my daily routine with the exception of ONE thing.  Although that small thing may only last 5-10 minutes each day-it keeps me grounded and stress and anxiety at a minimum.  The days I have slacked (and there are very few) on self care aka “Me Time” is more than noticeable to those around me, in my performance, my attitude and with my children.

Depending on the season, my mood, my finances…my daily self-care ritual is always changing.  It doesn’t have to be expensive to get some quality “Me Time” but if given the opportunity to spend some money on yourself, please don’t hesitate. I used to fight with myself on spending a few dollars on getting my nails done, or on that mascara I have wanted for months, those leggings that are my favorite color and would go great with the top that I already have.  I then decided there was no point in the guilt of occasionally purchasing something for myself when my children have all their needs met and some of their wants, the bills are paid, some money in savings etc. Those $15 leggings end up being worth their weight in gold due to the way they make me feel!

In the real world most of us don’t have the opportunity very often to spend that extra $15 so I have found ways to self care on a budget that work just as well and maybe better.

*Reading 10 minutes of the book you’ve been wanting to start.

*Favorite cream in my cup of coffee.

*Writing myself a “love” note and sticking it on my mirror.

*Making sure I too have fresh and wrinkle free clothes in the morning.

*Waking up earlier than the rest of the house and drinking my COFFEE in quiet.

*Picking Lilacs from our bush and giving some to the neighbor or a friend.

*Listening to really loud music in the car on your way to work.

*Painting my fingernails/toenails a funky color.

*Homemade facial mask.  See some of my favorites here.

*Applying my make-up in a new way.

*Go for a walk

*Youtube Zumba workout

Honestly, they all seem like simple things and they really are but when it comes to your mental and physical health-that is something you just can’t put a price on.

I would love to hear some of your ideas on self-care, I am always looking for ways to improve mine.  You can comment here or email me kim@fortunatopartners.com

***PSA from Noelle

In order to populate the blog daily with new content my Staff will be joining me in writing blog posts each week, Kim (VP of Special Projects) and Kirsten (Director of Operations) will be sharing their insights and words of wisdom with you as well.  These are people dear to my heart and I trust that what they share with you will be useful and insightful.  We will label the blog posts from now on with the author so that you are clear on WHO wrote WHAT.  Thanks.  – Noelle

Posted by Kim (VP of Special Projects)