Yep.. I was ghosted. You meet someone online, you start texting back and forth, then it leads to daily good morning texts to afternoon texts, to evening texts. You talk continuously throughout the day about everything. It continues for months..
Then it just stops.. no morning texts or afternoon texts. Nothing… just crickets. So I guess that’s what people say is ghosted. I was ghosted. I even confirmed with my friends …sure shit I was..
Most of the time, I am not the girl that initiates a snap or text. Maybe I’m old fashion or just want to feel wanted. I’m just a girl that really enjoys funny humor and communication. I enjoy getting to know someone.
So now I’m asking myself…what did I say or do? Was it because I didn’t initiate conversation? Maybe I should have initiated more texts.. but it’s a hard line to walk because I don’t want to be the annoying needy girl. Ugh… no one wants that.
Or was it because I don’t have the time to send a million selfies? Did I not use the right filters? Or was I boring? Maybe I wasn’t using the right emojis..But why the ghosting? Honestly I’m not sure I’ll ever know.
And sometimes you even start making excuses for the person that ghosted you.. like I thought to myself, “ ohh he must be really busy at work or he must be with his kids, or maybe he’s sick”…. Right. I have learned from my dating life when someone is into you and when they are not. And here I am now making excuses.
I have asked myself all those questions over and over…Why does it happen to so many of us all the time…The ghosting.. I just don’t understand how people can not communicate. Or maybe just could say that they are not interested, or confused, or dont know what they want… but something would be better than nothing at all.
It’s hard to start being invested in someone and then they just disappear. It really tugs at your heart, your self confidence and self worth at times. It definitely played with my insecurities. It doesn’t matter if you are 16 or 56, you still have the same emotions with getting to know someone. And after it happens once, how do you prevent it from happening again. I know I have my guard up a lot more now.
And I know I was guilty of ghosting when I was on dating apps years ago. I would chat or go one a date with someone and then eventually not respond. I didn’t want to hurt their feelings or have a tough conversation. So instead I would just not respond, instead of being an actual adult.
Then I learned it was better to just be honest if there was no connection, or if you felt you wanted something different. And with some people, I have continued on with a friendship.
But with others, I have had to discontinue all communication. I learned that I was looking for the easy way out. And I would avoid the difficulty. Not one of my best decisions…
So when it happened to me now. I just had to let it go. You might never know why you were ghosted. You just move on. Getting caught up in the why it happened will not get you to move forward. Some people are not able to communicate how you would like…and as much as you want a reason or answer, you might not get it.
Unfortunately, I still miss the person that I talked to daily…. The ghoster.. most of the time it was just meaningless humor and daily conversation. And I miss that in the craziness of my life…