Tag Archives: New Year

In The Face Of Disappointment

The new year has started and unfortunately it’s not the most positive news we all had wanted. But, it is what we have.

This is actually an amazing opportunity to focus on what we want and what we intend for the new year, in the face of disappointment. Disappointment is a funny thing. It often marks the end of some thing. When things don’t turn out the way we want, we will often give up.

Truthfully, it’s often how we handle relationships or friendships. When disappointed, we often say goodbye, or if we don’t say goodbye, we create distance.

If you think about it, disappointment surrounds us. It’s only a matter of time before we are disappointed again. We go shopping for some thing and it’s out of stock. We order a coffee and it’s not exactly how we wanted it. We stopped behind a car and a stoplight and when it turns green they’re not paying attention and you have to hit your horn. Too many of these in one day can ruin our day, but only if we let it…. And we don’t have to. Disappointment is only temporary it is never permanent. My wife wrote what she called a mind treatment that is very good to read in these type of times. I’ll include it here:

 

THE LITANY OF DISAPPOINTMENT

 

  •      everything, person and situation is a disappointment.                     

            it’s a matter of time eventually.

            disappointment is okay and i am still happy…

 

  •      disappointment is innate in all experiences.

            the greater determination the more disappointment.

            disappointment is okay and i am still happy…

 

  •      to see there is nothing that i really “need” makes attractive

            the possibility of detachment, otherwise,

            detachment would be a terrible punishment.

 

  •      disappointment is okay and i am still happy…

            can i be happy in the face of such great disappointment?

            yes i can.

 

  •      disappointment is okay and i am still happy…

           to the reactionary egoic mind, there is only disappointment.

            i can determine life is about being happy

            in the middle of all circumstances,

            even disappointment which is innate in life.

 

  •      it is possible to be prosperous, have goals, intentions and

            continue happily in the face of all disappointments.

 

  •      disappointment is okay and i am still happy…

            yes, everything changes and it’s perfect.

 

  •      disappointment is okay and i am still happy…

           i am fully engaged in all that life offers…

 

  •      disappointment is okay 

            i am still happy…and grateful

 

~Steve

2021-The Year Of Tweaking

Here it is.. 2021…And here I am wondering what am I going to do this year???  What is going to be my big resolution?? What is going to be my new goal? 

I have been trying to figure what is going to be my big goal or resolution.  I am a big advocate for working on yourself, making plans, setting goals, and striving to do better year after year.  I am all for that…I am like a sponge when it comes to working on self care and self reflection.  I live for new books, podcasts, journals, affirmations, etc.  I have been knee deep in it for weeks, thinking about 2020…Trying to prepare for the start of 2021. I went back and forth on what was really important to me for next year.  I think I was stressing myself over coming up with that one thing.  

However, do you ever get to a point where you just feel like enough is enough.. Why can’t I just be content with who I am?  Why can’t I continue to concentrate on what I love?  Why am I always searching for that one thing that might make this year the best yet.  

So then it finally hit me…what if I just concentrate on everything I have already been working on… continue tweaking and sticking to what is important to me.  Maybe I wont be the girl with the big list of goals this year.  Many I wont do epic things…but maybe I will get farther ahead with everything I have already been working on. 

I want to continue learning to just be content…  Ya, I should lose 5 lbs, but I probably wont.  I exercise daily and I am very active, but losing those 5 lbs is not that one thing that is going to make my year the best ever.  Mostly because I like nachos and wine.  I do not always need to come up with something bigger and better.    

I just want to continue being more content with just getting as much done in a day as I do.   I know my limitations.  I know when I get to the point of when I feel stressed and overwhelmed.  So, what if I listened to myself more and stuck with that.  

I want to continue moving forward down the path that I have the last few years.  I want to concentrate on not taking on too much.  I want to concentrate on just being happy.  Learning to just let more go.  I also want to remember to make that time for myself.  

The last year has been a up and down rollercoaster.. And what if I took 2021 to just stand still for a bit.   Stand still to regroup and focus on everything that has been important to me the last few years.  Remembering that less is sometimes more.  Remembering to take that time for myself.  Remembering to spend more time with my family.  Remembering to not rush through the day. And Remembering to say no when I want too…  

I think I got thrown off the track many times in 2020.  I would take on too much or become overly stressed about all the happenings in the world.  I forget what was important.  I would forget to let many things go, especially what I could not control.  I would worry to much about my kids, family, work, and figuring it all out.    

So It might only be a few things this year, but I am fine with that… because that’s what’s important to me.  Maybe this will just be the year of tweaking…taking the time to go through all that important to me… and tweak it.  

-snarky

Appreciation Post

Appreciation post….

It is Sunday night after the holiday. My trusty sidekick is at my feet snoring very loudly. I have finally decided to bust open one of the non alcoholic cocktails I got myself for a treat. It claims to be a take on a Whiskey old Fashion… not sure if that’s true. But it’s yummy nonetheless and filling the void I sometimes feel now that I don’t drink.

I wanted to say thank you …

To you all.

To those who stop here.

Read what we write.

Maybe you smile.

Maybe you don’t.

Maybe you can relate and that helps.

Or maybe not.

But a long time ago after feeling helpless too many times I made the decision to take control of something I could. Something that might make people feel better.

And that was telling them they were appreciated.

Cared about.

Thought about.

Missed.

Loved.

I could tell you all the ways I feel like my life has fallen off the tracks at one point. I could tell you how I got frustrated and hurt that everything didn’t line up to make a perfect picture I could post on Facebook and brag about on Instagram.

But the reality is that is my reality and I can’t control it.

And I really believe everything happens for a reason.

What I can do is cheer lead for the people who held my hand when I thought my world was falling apart.

Never stop thanking my friends who sat with me every weekend until I could sit alone.

Always wish everyone Happy Birthday.

Send someone a song. 

Say hello to a stranger at the store and try REALLY hard to smile with my eyes.

Tell my people I appreciate them.

Hug my daughter.

Tell her I love her.

Compliment someone.

Say please.

Say thank you

Over and over again.

These are things I can control.

These are things we need more of.

That small hi with me  making the eyes over my mask maybe I’ll at least get a giggle?

It’s a start.

I have no answers for this past year except I am happy to see it gone.

And move into 2021 with a Mr. Rogers quote as my mantra: the greatest thing we can do is to help somebody know that they are  loved and capable of loving 

 

Be safe

Much love 

Happiest of New Years my sweet wonderful Mamas

💚

Caprise 

Bless This Mess

As we approach the end of 2020 it seems an appropriate time to take stock in how the year was for us and how it can shape how 2021 will be.

I have been reading a book by Pierre Pradervand called The Gentle Art Of Blessing, a simple practice that will transform you and your world. It is a wonderfully written call to bless everything and everyone in our world. Even those people and events that we think are troublesome. 

His premise is actually quite simple. We can’t judge and bless at the same time. If someone cuts us off in traffic, rather than think badly or even cursing at them, we can bless them. 

“To bless means to wish, unconditionally, from the deepest chamber of your heart, unrestricted good for others and events.” It is another way of taking ourselves on to become who we truly wish to be, that is, someone who is kind and generous. I believe deep down that all people wish to be kind but fall victim to society’s conditioning. Said another way, we should be giving what we wish to be receiving. 

“When something goes completely askew in your day, when some unexpected event upsets your plans – and upsets you – burst into blessing. For life is teaching you a lesson, and the very event you believe to be unwanted, you yourself called fourth, so as to learn the lesson you might balk against were you not to bless it. Trials are blessings in disguise, and a host of angels follow in their path.”

So as we review the year we have just been through, let’s think about our trials as blessings in disguise. Let’s bless people and events, if for no other reason than to replace our judgment of them.

~Steve

Welcoming A New Year Of Growth

I am welcoming a new year of growth, a 41 year old single mother of two small children. Yes, you read that right – I was 35 when I had my first child.  My youngest child was born on New Year’s Day, and as this new year begins I am pondering not just her life, but my own.

My divorce from my children’s father was final last December (Merry Christmas to me!!), but I was doing the single mom gig for a long time before that.  Even before my marriage ended.  When I look back over the past few years there are so many moments that seem significant.  Separation, manipulative ex, mediation, divorce. I started dating again, and have met the most amazing man who is still in my life.

But it has been in this part year, in particular, that I have done and have learned so much.  In this past year there have been so many things that have changed.  My boyfriend and I have had to work through things as a couple.  I bought my home – the first I have ever bought alone.  I have had the difficult job of continuing to heal.  Of recognizing that some of the patterns and responses that I accumulated for years in a toxic relationship, while helpful and protective to me in THAT relationship, are no longer needed and in fact are hurtful to new and current relationship(s).  I have had to work on not just recognizing those patterns, but BREAKING those patterns.  It’s been a pretty grueling year, really.

But looking back now, and looking ahead into 2020!

I am proud of myself.  Proud for continuing to WANT to do the hard work of healing and moving forward.  Proud that I work, try to be the best mom I can be, and that I was able to save enough money to buy my house.  I am thankful that I have such a supportive boyfriend.  I have gained a whole new Mom Tribe of friends, acquaintances, and people I can lean on.  I have had to say goodbye to relationships that were holding me back.  I have been able to work on myself, focus on my personal growth, while also focusing on the needs and growth of my children.  While my past is painful, it has led me to here.  And here is a pretty good place to be.

So I look forward to 2020, with open arms.  May it continue to bring love and growth, peace and happiness.  May it do the same for you.

~H

A New Beginning

It’s finally happened, the 2010s are no more and the 20s are now beginning.

Since I am only in my teenage years, this decade has taken up most of my life. It has been a decade so interesting, that it’s hard to keep track. In these past 10 years, we’ve experienced major events in not only our lives, but in pop culture, politics, and news. I’d like to say that I’ve learned a lot in the 2010s. Not just academically, but also lessons that I could use everyday.

Most of the things I’ve learned are due to the mistakes I’ve made on the way. Unfortunately, there were times in the past decade that I didn’t learn from the mistakes I had made. With this new decade now beginning, I decided that it was time to change my habits and work on those things that I want for myself and for my future.

For me personally, I figured out that I needed to start challenging myself in ways I never had before. I’ll be working hard to reach my goals, and I’ll never give up on the hopes I have for myself.

This is exactly what everyone should be doing when entering this new decade. You must figure out your weaknesses and work on how to better improve in that significant area.

Finally, I want to stress the importance of having a positive outlook on what these years have to offer. Just as the 2010s were filled with unexpected surprises, the 2020s will not fall short in that category. Be open to new possibilities and to new beginnings.

Happy new year! -Dani <3

Bravery Is A Keyboard

Bravery is a keyboard…

As I do every Sunday I grab a drink, turn on some music, take my pit stop on social media and start writing.

When you read this it will be a new year. 

Literally 

A new decade

Literally 

As I mentioned in my last blog, I don’t do resolutions.  Guys,I struggle getting my laundry folded. The pressure of a new year, new me. Nope.

However, as I mentioned, I am going to do more things I enjoy.

I am also going to dig into that little catchphrase known as self care. 

I am going to be gentler on myself.

Gentler on those around me.

We all have a story to tell. 

Some of us just can’t tell it.

Over the last few years I have let my insecurities sometimes cloud my judgement. It’s not fair to me or the people in my life. 

 BUT….

I have found strength in a surprising place.

Here.

Every Sunday when I share… one less secret, one less brick holding up my wall.

You all have given me back the bravery I forgot I had.

For that I can’t thank you enough.

Happiest of New Years and New Decade Mommas 

<3 Caprise

New Year No Resolutions

New Year No Resolutions…

As I am preparing to write this I do what I always do and took a little pit stop on social media.

I was hit in the face with frantic last minute Christmas posts and resolutions.

I will be up front about two things.

I still need to shop and I am not making any resolutions. Maybe that’s one in and of itself.

Here’s the thing. 

Ok, a couple. I am absolutely lousy at keeping them. Resolutions.

I am already frantic, please don’t add to my stress. A task I may not complete. That’s stressful.

Also… sometimes resolutions feel targeted. New Year, New Me. What’s wrong with you right now?

Have you ever thought it’s not you?

A lot of times, I’m going to say at least for me. My year is bad because of things around me. The environment, things out of my control.

This was not a banner year for me. To say the least. From job loss. Loss of loved ones. Fractured friendships. A financial bomb.

But I still hope that each New Year is better. I always hope I grow. But at my core I should not be a new me.

Maybe fold my laundry right away so I have more time on Sunday to relax so I don’t feel so stressed come Monday morning.

Get every scrap of information before I make big decisions.

Focus on my humans. The ones who focus on me. Text, call…

Spend less time on social media. I really don’t need to know my cousin three times removed is into some of the things she’s into.

Take time for the little things. When is the last time you peeped a sunrise?

Sing loudly in my car. 

Snuggle with my dog.

Buy the special creamer for my coffee.

These aren’t resolutions. These are things I like to do. I just maybe don’t do them enough.

A new year is a great time to remind yourself to do those things, but honestly Mommas why not all year?

My hope for you is a wonderful holiday and if 2019 wasn’t your year, that 2020 will be.

Much love Mommas.

<3 Caprise

Resolutions & Goals, How Do We Get There?

A few days ago I blogged about not having the pressure of referring to my goals as “New Year Resolutions”…just something I do for myself….but I know that everyone sets some goals or resolutions this time of year for improvement within themselves and their lives.

Here are a few of mine:

1.Weight loss(and yes this is a cliche goal)

2.Family Vacation

3.Full-Time Business Owner(I sit at about half time now)

These are just a few and I have some mini goals that I will do to get to the final destination. I would like to know some of yours, if you are willing to share and not sure how to go about accomplishing them, maybe we can help each other?

Remember-you don’t have to change the world over night! Use the S.M.A.R.T process:

S-Specific

M-Measurable

A-Achievable

R-Realistic

T-Timely

 

Love to All-Kim

 

 

 

2018 Approaches Another Year To Put Behind Us

And here we go, the countdown into the Holiday Crazies and 2018…another year to put behind us and another year to create in front of us.  2017 was the end of a lot of things for me, mainly my corporate Executive Team position with Dreamstime.   Most of you know that after almost 15 years I stepped down to spend more time with my family and to do the work that I feel compelled to do in the world…it has been a time of transition and 7 months later there are still days when I feel complete and utter terror, however I also feel a sense of freedom and right choice.  I know without a doubt that I made the right decision and I look forward to starting the year fresh with my own company and not having to worry about what other people are doing.

I am starting to think about making a list of all the things that were accomplished in 2017 and all of the things that need to be left behind, behaviors, attitudes, conditions and in some cases people.  I am feeling like 2018 is going to be an amazing year filled with miracles that we don’t even expect.  Soon I will start talking to you guys about writing down goals for 2018, so start thinking about that—if you could accomplish ANYTHING in 2018 what would that be??

Also start thinking about what needs to be left behind you as we enter into this new season–and what in 2017 you are grateful for.  The more work we do on being complete and preparing for the new year that we want to manifest, the better things will be.  We will keep talking about this….

 

Noelle