Tag Archives: negative

What’s Driving Your Life?

What’s driving your life? What you allow behind the wheel is a huge factor on the quality of your life. Are you fear driven? Constantly worrying what can and will go wrong? Do you find yourself expecting more and more negative things to happen?

Whatever you let run your main thought pattern is what you will manifest into your life. Whatever you tell yourself is true because you will make it true, you will attract it to you.

It takes courage to shed the negativity. Most people hold onto it almost as a security blanket. Thinking its “safer, to not get their hopes up” thinking that staying negative protects them from more painful disappointment. Negative thinking is a trap and I urge you to find the courage to escape.

Letting positive curiosity and wonderment drive you. It’s scary, its raw, it is an amplified joyous life. Finding your inner peace, being aligned with yourself helps you overcome the turbulence of life’s ups & downs. Find your passions, talents/gifts and harness them. Do not fear failure, never regret trying and giving your all. The only true failure in life is never starting and then collecting regrets.

Fear is a chain we need to break, but it is also a sign. Anything worth doing in your life is going to be scary, or downright terrifying.Nothing  good ever comes from our comfort zones; The fear pushes us out of our comfort zone and kick starts our growth, that fear and adrenaline is the first building block of anything great.

To keep building our life, the path we are meant to walk we have to keep growing. Whether We will become or create something spectacular, or watch it crash, burn or hide from it all depends on what we have driving us.

Keep growing loving and learning,

Ali

Letting Negativity Steal Your Joy

Negativity- what a nasty little critter. It can steal the joy of any situation and have you at odds with yourself and the people around you. The more excuses you make for negativity in your life the more it will multiply.  I am currently in a situation where I am surrounded by negativity quite often and I used to react to it with more negativity.  It just ended up compounding on itself and became unbearable.  Until one day I stopped reacting to the source of the negativity, I started to feel bad for that person. also instead of judging that person, I decided to declutter myself.  I did that by starting a daily gratitude list. Also Instead of engaging in negative things I just walk away. If someone is throwing a pity party I don’t enable and I don’t argue I walk away. If the news gets too negative If i can I shut it off I will, if not I leave the room and go listen to some peaceful music.  Not engaging in a battle of wills doesn’t mean you surrender to the negativity, It means you value yourself and your peace more.

Our life/reality is shaped entirely by how we look at and accept things. NO one else can feel the exact same feeling as us, our feelings are ours, same with our thoughts. We cannot change other people, and we can only change circumstances and environments so much. The one true thing we have control over in this life and can change is ourselves. When  you see something in someone else that bothers you, please take a moment. Stop analyzing that person and their behaviors, and instead reflect on yourself, why does that bother you? Why are you allowing that person to interrupt you peace? You may be surprised that negativity may be feeding off of your of insecurity or personality defect. The quickest and most surefire way to eliminate that situation is to work on yourself. Remember Negativity is the thief of joy, and it can only rent a space in your life if you allow it. Today I choose to be grateful. What are you grateful for today?

 

-Always be unapologetically yourself,

Ali

Refrain from Criticism

“Speak ill of no man, but speak all the good you know of everybody.”

-Ben Franklin

Nobody likes criticism, which means that it is counterproductive to everything.  Criticism is negative by nature, so it never produces a positive response and usually serves to make people feel inadequate or unhappy.  We live in a culture that feels free to criticize everything from product ingredients to politicians to body type and size.  All the criticizing we are doing as a culture doesn’t seem to be making anything better and it certainly isn’t creating a spirit of good cheer.

A dose of the daily news right now will leave you feeling somewhat hopeless.  Most of it is criticism in one form or another.  We listen to that and then we start out the door on our own personal criticizing crusade…the husband/boyfriend/girlfriend/wife didn’t do this or that, the kids didn’t pick up, the traffic is terrible, the coffee line is too long, people can’t drive, work isn’t rewarding, we feel fat, we look old…the list goes on and on throughout the day.  The criticisms aren’t limited to other people or things; often we are most critical of ourselves.

When we are done finding fault with ourselves, we happily continue onto what is wrong with everyone and everything else.  We all do it; even the most intelligent, transformed people easily fall into the trap of criticizing.

It is such an automatic response for us that most times we don’t even realize how critical we are being until the words are out of our mouths.

Good to remember that until every, single part of our lives is in impeccable shape we have no right, nor invitation to find fault. We all have room for improvement and we don’t like it when anyone points that out to us, so what makes us think that anyone feels good about our criticism?

What if instead of criticizing we praised and acknowledged or just kept quiet?  There is something to that old adage, ‘if you don’t have anything nice to say then don’t say anything at all.’  People know when they need to improve something; they don’t need us to point it out.  Right now people need encouragement to do better, to be better.

Just for today try and refrain from being critical of yourself and everyone else…either give praise or be silent and see how that feels and what miracles can occur from that shift in behavior…

Have a good Saturday.

-XO, Noelle

Negativity Does Not Serve The Future

LOL…maybe we should be calling this the bi-weekly discussion…I have got to do better with this posting new content…so much negativity out there right now, seems like a good time to talk about serving the future…so here we go…

Gurdjieff ([1877-1949], priest, physician, teacher, author of ‘Meetings With Remarkable Men’) tells us that to live in a truly creative and dynamic way; we would have to think in a completely new way.  He encourages that to be completely fulfilled, we must engage in our own conscious evolution. In his work he also speaks about conscious labor and intentional suffering and about the importance of undertaking the burden of responsibility for serving the future…

Gurdjieff’s student J.G. Bennett “…adopted as a major theme of his life and work the teaching known as “The Fourth Way”. This is very simply that in the face of a threat, whether environmental disaster, war and conquest, or economic collapse, those persons who are able to do so must accept the responsibility of guiding and supporting the less resourceful, but not through the conventional institutions of government or religion, but rather on the level of new ideas and attitudes, inspiration and spiritual regeneration. As many Sufi teachers have done, he hinted at a world of experience in which the laws are quite other than those governing the material world – in some cases, the reverse. Those who are able to decipher this riddle must inevitably dedicate themselves to serving humanity, and the future of our world.” (www.jgbennett.net)

Those of us that understand that there is far more to life than what we can physically “see”, understand also that we have a responsibility to encourage other people not to be limited by their own thinking.  I speak often of the fact that you should never, ever judge or evaluate a situation by the way that it looks in any given moment—you should only ever operate from your intention about what the outcome will be.  So many people are stopped in their tracks because they think that the obstacles they encounter are “real”…they fail to understand that what makes obstacles “real” is believing that they exist.  There are people that are never stopped, people that never quit…if one way gets blocked up they find another…these are the people that succeed and know how to live ‘outside the box’…these are the kind of people you want to know.

I mostly live in a conversation called ‘what’s next…what else needs doing’, the past few weeks I have been living in a question called, “What is your Legacy?”

It is interesting that when you begin to engage in this discussion your life and what you have done or not done shows up in a whole different light…complaints and grievances don’t hold much water in the Legacy conversation…25 years after you’re dead nobody is going to care that your back hurt or you had a cold or a headache or that you were too tired to do the laundry.   Some people have told me that their children are their legacy and that is certainly true for all of us that are parents, however, for me that isn’t enough.

I want to leave something that breathes on long after I checked out…something that is dedicated to making people’s lives better, something that educates people and teaches them how to succeed…something that helps those that need helping… something that makes a difference…

My life will change from living in the question, “What is your Legacy?”…do me a favor and take a moment to answer that question for yourself…honestly.  How are you giving back, who are you helping, and what are you serving besides yourself?  How do you serve the future?

I have a theory that if people lived in these questions life would take on a whole new meaning…if people lived for a purpose bigger than themselves the small annoyances they suffer would become much less significant.

Certainly not the average conversation, but average conversations never create much growth or much action—they also don’t cause you to think much.  I leave you with my favorite quote by George Bernard Shaw:

This is the true joy in life, the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; the being thoroughly worn out before you are thrown on the scrap heap; the being a force of Nature instead of a feverish selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy.

 

George Bernard Shaw, Man and Superman, Epistle Dedicatory

 

Forgiveness and The True Concept

It occurred to me today  that many people in the world have a hard time with the true concept of forgiveness.  Not only do individual people have problems with forgiveness, countries have issues with it as do political parties.  Many of us feel that our anger, animosity, hatred and bad feelings are JUSTIFIED and God help anyone who tries to tell us otherwise.  Given an opportunity most people will tell you about who did them wrong in life and if you watch closely you will see in the telling of that incident the true story of their lives…

Usually in the re-telling of the bad divorce, the lost election, the abusive childhood, the business deal gone bad, the unexpected death or the ultimate betrayal, a wise person is able to see the sadness and disappointment that reside just beneath the anger.  Anger, sadness, hurt and disappointment held onto over time become vehicles for that which is against life.  The darkness in the world feeds off of these type of emotions and truly that is the only thing that gives life to the darkness.  If people could come to understand that holding onto past hurts is actually stealing their health and vitality perhaps they would learn to LET GO.

That is my working definition of forgiveness, letting go.  My coaching on forgiveness does not involve over-looking or forgetting what has happened—it involves letting it go, so that the incident no longer has any reactive power over you.  When you can maintain your inner equilibrium no matter what befalls you, you will have achieved a level of mastery unknown to most.  You cannot control the behaviors and actions of others; however you can control your reaction to them.  You can decide to be hurt or offended or you can decide not to be—the choice is always yours.  People are doing the best they can for who they are in the moment and mostly they are not even conscious of how their actions affect others—people are pretty self-absorbed.

I suspect that the average person fails to understand the cost of holding onto anger and animosity.  The cost is not just an individual one—not only does holding onto yucky stuff kill your health and vitality it also doesn’t help the collective consciousness of the world.  Don’t be foolish enough to think that the fight you are having with your brother has no effect on what is happening in Iraq or in Israel…energy is collective.  Your hatred of your business partner or the guy who cut you off on the highway or the opposing political party goes forth into the ethers as energy…in this case BAD ENERGY.  Your nasty attitude is not only effecting you, it is effecting all of us….so QUIT IT!

I’m not suggesting that we all run around wearing orange robes giving out flowers—I am, however, suggesting that we all (myself included) begin to take a deeper look at what anger and animosity we might be holding onto and how that is affecting our quality of life.  It is easy to see what righteous anger and hatred is costing other countries (as people are literally dying to be right)—is it as easy to see what it is costing us as individuals?

Being angry takes up a lot of time and energy, it also affects your health and state of mind…

So next time you are feeling really hot under the collar and your blood pressure is rising—ask yourself –is it really worth it?