As I typed that title I am chuckling because I am not a relationship guru.
Not even close. I am actually the poster child for what you should not do in relationships. We could take a jaunt down memory lane but I’ve done that before with some of you who have been regular readers.
I am not sure that there is value there.
But I have been revisiting my past relationships a lot lately because one of my good friends is going through the proverbial ringer in hers.
As I have listened and shared I have started putting my actions and choices under a microscope.
How I have had a pattern of being involved with emotionally unavailable men because I have the mindset they are easy to walk away from. I don’t have to put as much of myself out there.
Notice I used the word HAD.
That is not the case in my current relationship. My person always asks how I am. He gently teases me about how surprised I get when I share something and he hears me. It doesn’t end up in a fight.
Here’s the thing, I’m actually not the relationship guru in this story. He is.
I will be very honest and raw here, after my divorce I didn’t think about getting married again. Ever.
I put all those dreams away. Between my divorce and some really ugly relationships I didn’t think it was in the cards for me to meet someone I felt comfortable planning a future with.
There are days I still have a hard time.
I had this conversation with my friend. I do not like to consider myself a broken person and I definitely don’t think anyone should use their experiences as an excuse for bad behavior.
Whether we like it or not it shapes us.
In my case.
I’m an over thinker.
Obviously I am catch. Lol.
Yet here I am telling you about the most patient human in the universe.
He also asks me about the most important person – my daughter.
I have no idea what is going to happen but what I am learning is every subsequent relationship is an opportunity to start over, to grow. RESET.
I don’t need to be in a relationship.
I am also learning I’m lovable.
Much love Mommas