Tag Archives: loving

A Little Love

There are three quotes I’d like to share with you that I have been thinking about today:

“Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does. Love is a battle. Love is a war. Love is a growing up.”-James Baldwin

“Love is an ENDLESS act of forgiveness.”-Peter Ustinov

“All things that exist in truth exist forever.”-Marianne Williamson

Most people don’t understand that in all their relationships they are the decisive element. We decide whether or not to be offended, to be loving, to be kind, to be vindictive, to be generous, to be forgiving…other people do what they do and we decide how to react to that. The mainstream seems to teach us that love feels good and that it makes you sappy and happy all the time and if you are unhappy then you must be in a bad situation be it romantic or otherwise…and so we have created a culture of folks that walk away from jobs and friends and relationships when they stop feeling “happy”…

What if real love was REAL WORK? What if loving your job, your kids, your friends, your relationships, your house, your pets, your country, your neighbors meant working to recreate that happy, sappy feeling day after day? If we thought or understood that loving is really an endless act of forgiving and giving then wouldn’t we change the way we think about it? Consider that the real purpose of us all being here together is for soul growth and not for personal gratification or indulgence of the senses…consider that perhaps it is your job to use your relationships with people to further humanity as a whole instead of just using them to see what you can get for yourself…

Imagine a culture in which people put other people before themselves as a practice instead of just once and awhile to prove that they are not small selfish clods of ailments and grievances.

So many people that I know spend SO MUCH time worrying about who they can be with and what they can get out of it…people always seem so amazed at the way that I take care of the people around me, they think me so generous…the truth is that I was taught early on that it isn’t about me…it is about what I can do for whoever is around me…it is about serving humanity to make things better for everyone…if we all lived like that what a different place this would be.

I wish that people would think prior to just reacting…I have a good friend that is recently divorced and every time his ex-wife pushes a button he reacts…he isn’t about serving her, he is about what a XXXXX she is being…I have a news flash…she will never change…he will have to change. Those people in your life that you believe deserve whatever it is that you are serving up to them…they are not really the ones being harmed by your behavior—you are. Your angst, your anger, your hatred, your unkind words…all those things you feel are valid…all of that just comes back to create chaos in your own life…negativity breeds negativity—universal law—always true…

I realize that we are not all going to start running around being nice to everyone and handing out flowers in orange robes…and I have my moments where I express my own disgust for people, places and things, however I catch myself and I know better and I keep trying to do better…that is all I am suggesting, that we think, that we look to see how we can forward the action of things instead of killing them with our negative actions and words…

The first step to changing any behavior is to first recognize it—you can’t hope to shift something that you can’t even bring to consciousness…

 

XO, Noelle

Unconditional Love

In order to begin this conversation with you; I must first define the word – Unconditional.

Webster’s defines unconditional as without conditions or reservations; absolute.

My question to you —is there such a thing as giving too much or loving too much?  My answer to this is, NO—if the giving and the loving are unconditional.  Unconditional loving and giving are I’m afraid, rarer than you may imagine.  There are people that love so that they will get something in return…love, money, happiness, sex, material things etc…there are unspoken conditions on their loving and when the other person fails to deliver, the love is taken away in punishment.  The same is true for some folks in the giving department…they give and then they expect something in return and when they don’t get it, problems arise.

There is also the case of the person suspect of being unconditionally loved or given to—this indicates an inability to receive on their end…you see in order to be a balanced giver you must be able to receive as graciously as you give…there are those that only want to give and become very uptight when on the receiving end of gifts or love.  They wonder what the other person is “up to” giving all these gifts and expressing all this love, they become certain that things cannot be as simple as they seem—there must be some ‘ulterior motive’ to all this generosity…

Funny thing is if you gain a deep understanding of how life really works you would love and give yourself SILLY…for those of us that get it there is nothing else to do but give and give and give and love people unconditionally…really and truly that is what we are here for…to share…to share ourselves and our ‘stuff’…

So many people walk around so tightly wound up about what is ‘theirs’ and what hoops have to be jumped through in order for someone to gain their love…there are times when we see what people are really made of and sadly those times mostly come when tragedy strikes…do you remember how loving and generous people were with each other after 9-11-2001?  Strangers helping each other however they could, sharing, offering love, strength, help, money, clothes, food…anything — we all gave anything we had and we were glad to do so…we allowed ourselves to feel love for people just because and it made us all stronger at a time when we needed it most…well what happened folks???

Did our need for generous hearts subside???  No, in fact it seems to me that we could use generous hearts more than ever right now—-we could use a lot less complaining and criticism and a lot more unconditional giving and loving.  Look around you—the world needs a lot of help from people that understand…there are so many things that we could say are wrong, however when do we begin to say what’s right with everything?  That kind of looking starts with you…there is good in everything, you just need to have faith that it is there and then you have to be willing to SEE it…sometimes it takes awhile…

We have to wake up, we have to be responsible to make things better for ourselves and everyone around us—there is nobody else folks, this is our job.

It is IMPOSSIBLE to:

love too much, give too many presents, celebrate too many things, be too forgiving, be too generous, be too happy, see too much good, help too many people, give too much money, volunteer too much, serve too much…

Nobody ever died from giving too much of themselves, actually it enlivens and empowers you…maybe you should give it a whirl, may make you live longer…when you get busy contributing to other people your own small grievances hardly show up anymore…

I leave you with a quote from St. John of the Cross:

“A generous heart will never care

to go part way; it won’t be cowed

if there is passage anywhere,

but set out on the hardest road;

nothing can cause it misery,

and with faith soaring like a cloud

it feeds on something I don’t know

that one may come on randomly.”

 

~Noelle

Divinity In Action-Loving The People That Have Harmed You

Christmas Countdown, Day 15

People tend to review things at the close of the year…and often that leads to thinking about people that have behaved less than stellar toward us…so here are a few of my thoughts on that…

The being able to stand in the face of someone that has betrayed you and love them and bless them is a great gift…this is Divinity in action, this is the stuff you can’t learn from books…these are the lessons that come from looking into ourselves and seeing how we can emulate God-like qualities…loving the people that have harmed you as you love the people that are easy to love is a level of mastery…this loving is called unconditional love and it is the way that God loves us…no matter what we do or how horrible we are God loves us still…shouldn’t we be loving each other in that same way?

That really is the only thing we have to take with us from this life—the way that we love each other…you know that saying, “you never see a U-Haul being pulled behind a hearse…”

God-like qualities are lessons in forever; the rest of it is just fluff… Oh and loving them doesn’t mean we need to stay around them or let them continue to treat us in ways that don’t work…just to be clear some people need to be loved from far, far away…