I’ve heard the worst of the worst in my 40 years of life.
The other day I realized that single moms are rock stars, but not in the “we can do it” way that I usually mean this. Single moms live like rock stars, and we need to take care of ourselves like rock stars.
I was listening to a radio interview of a rock star when this came to me. Admittedly, this musician was not a guy from an ‘80s hard rock band. If so, the interview might have been about trashing hotel rooms. Instead, the singer was a 30ish woman who was a solo artist. She talked about how much she loved singing and writing songs and sharing them with her audience.
Then she shared how challenging touring was. She was in a different city every couple of days. Tour deadlines must be met, yet there were inevitable delays or lost luggage at just the wrong time. She stayed up late to perform, and often got up early the next morning to head to the airport. And no matter what happened, the show must go on.
Then she talked about how she loved her fans and how that made it totally worth it. And she shared how she did it. She explained that she would go to bed as early as she could when she was on tour. She would stay hydrated. She would bring her vitamins with her and do her best to eat healthy food. She would work out at the hotel gym. She would put in earplugs and read a book on the plane to have a little time to herself.
When she was describing this, it hit me. This is like being a single mom.
We are solo artists. We have a job (mothering) that we love, but it is not easy. It includes late nights often followed by early mornings. There are delays and sick kids and misplaced backpacks at just the wrong times. And no matter what happens, our show must go on.
So recognize that you are a rock star, and treat yourself like one:
● Get the sleep you need.
● Stay hydrated and eat healthy food.
● Exercise. It will help you to have the energy you need to perform.
● Create a little space (yes, just for yourself!) and read a book.
And if you think the rock star analogy is far fetched, just think about the rest of your band for a moment. A toddler can trash a living room as well as Guns N’ Roses ever trashed a hotel room. You and I both know it.
Rock on, Single Mom!
Liz Possible is a Writer and Single Mom Extraordinaire. She lives in Minnesota with her two teenage daughters and their cats, Beau and Phoebe. “Possible” is her attitude, not her legal name — but then you knew that. Follow Liz at her blog at www.lizpossible.com and her FaceBook page at https://www.facebook.com/MySingleMomLife/
Easter Sunday, a time for new beginnings and new seasons. Time to shed the things that aren’t working and start living the life that you want to live, doing that often means taking stock of how things have been and making adjustments as needed. Spring and Easter are excellent times to do this, so late last night I penned some life advice for myself and it seemed prudent to share it with you. Enjoy.
Life Advice after 46 years…
• Make sure that you feel ‘at home’ in your own home. This is your place of grounding and peace, if you can’t restore yourself there then everything else will be out of balance
• Keep things in order, houses, desks, closets, cars, papers, etc. Disorder brings disjointed states of mind…it is difficult to operate in excellence with disorder surrounding you
• Get rid of stuff that doesn’t serve you—relationships, items, whatever isn’t serving you is stealing your energy and holding you back (whether you want to admit it or not)
• Try new things…always
• Don’t worry so much about whether or not you are doing things ‘right’—life is a process…make adjustments as you go
• Be smart, read, learn…never stop learning
• Be funny and don’t be mean
• Don’t complain, criticize or make fun of…you get what you give
• Put away money for a rainy day
• Have FUN with your life, we only do this here once, make the most of it
• Cultivate your “REAL” friends, let the superficial bullshit go—it just wastes time
• Enjoy your own company
• LIVE—stop waiting for your ‘real’ life to begin, these moments right NOW—these ARE your life—so LIVE them OUT LOUD
• Feel your feelings and express them responsibly
• Respond, don’t react
• Remember your words have power, use them to help not hurt
• Tell the TRUTH—always—NO EXCEPTIONS
• See yourself as others see you and be mindful of how you treat people and remember karma never loses an address
• Be READY for whatever comes, always have a plan B, maybe C and D too
• Expect the BEST, you deserve that
• Remember that nothing is too good to be true, if you do the work you deserve the reward because you EARNED it
• Don’t enable people, let them learn like you have
• Keep your peace—no HIGH highs, no LOW lows—leaders are STABLE people, they keep their JOY in all things and they keep going
• Keep moving forward, don’t look back—you are not going that way
• Be aware of your blind spots, we all have them. Work on them and don’t let them trip you up—pay attention
• Don’t ignore the obvious just because you don’t like it, if it is being revealed to you then there is a reason—something there for you to see
• If you have children PARENT THEM, discipline them, teach them to produce results, teach them that actions have consequences. Kids don’t need you to be their friends—they need you to be their PARENTS—you are putting people out into the world, so make sure that they are ready.
• Be of service, help others.
• Leave things better than you found them
• If someone shows you a behavior, BELIEVE IT! Actions will tell you everything you need to know about someone. Words are just lip service.
• Don’t overthink. When in doubt, go with your gut. Period.
• If it doesn’t feel right to you, it ISN’T—-so don’t do it. Period.
• TRUST yourself.
• LOVE yourself
• Make peace with your past
• Forgive, not for them, for YOU
• Welcome your future
• Do your best
• And above all—TRUST GOD—ALWAYS—NO EXCEPTIONS!