Tag Archives: listen

Be Her

Be her….

Do you have girlfriends you can call who will support you in your greatness? Girlfriends who will send you love over the phone or be with you to give you hugs? Girlfriends who understand no justification is necessary and love you even in the mess you may find yourself in?

Girlfriends know what to say and how to be and what to do. They sit when times are tough, they lend an ear when your words won’t stop, they hug when you’re falling down. They laugh from the belly when you do something Crazy. They watch your kids when the sitter leaves you high & dry. They bring a meal when you can’t get out of bed. They cry with you, giggle with you and rant on & on with you. Girlfriends know what to do.

Are you that kind of girlfriend? Do you stop your nonsense to lend a hand? Do you reach out when you’re tired because you know your bestie is having the worst day of her life? Do you care and love and give and hold? It takes a lot to step up and be that kind of friend. It takes courage and compassion and selflessness.

Be the one who someone calls because she knows she can count on you. All Day.

 Be the one who puts smiles on faces, sends birthday wishes & opens her arms to others.

 Be the one who at the end of the day puts her head on her pillow, down right knowing that she stepped out and gave of herself to another with nothing but honest, authentic giving.

Be Her all day long. Truth. Real. Raw. Your giving opens up space & gives permission for your girlfriends to Be Her too.

 

Your God Girl,

Tracy

An Encouraging Word

Never underestimate the value of an encouraging word.

The simple act of encouragement is so often taken for granted.  So many of us want to believe that we encourage our family, our friends, our co-workers and our general fellow man.  Sadly, though, many of us fall short.

Think about your everyday conversations.  Do you listen and smile casually, leaving yourself with the impression that you’ve participated in the conversation in an encouraging manner, when you haven’t really offered any encouragement at all?

Have you asked questions about the potential negative outcomes of a friend’s excited effort under the guise of “helping them think it through”, unknowingly (and, in all fairness, most likely unintentionally) crushing their excitement instead of offering encouragement?  Or, have you in fact shared an encouraging word commending someone for a job well done or offering them a word that says “I know you’ll succeed in this venture”?

Many of us listen to and participate in conversations and, when we leave said conversation, truly believe we have been an encouragement to the other party / parties involved in the conversation.  However, if we take a hard, honest and objective look at these same conversations, we will find that we haven’t really been of any encouragement at all.  Sometimes, we have in fact been the opposite or completely neutral.

At various points in my life, I have been blessed to have some genuinely encouraging people in my circles.  I would venture to say that they have been quite scattered, but present nonetheless, and the difference it has made in my life is absolutely priceless.  Several years back, I went through a dark period that left me very unhappy and in possession of very little self-confidence.  Having people in my life then that were constantly encouraging me was such a blessing.  It’s not that they were necessarily going out of their way to come up with extra things to say in each shared conversation, but these people truly made a habit of being encouraging to the point that it was simply a part of who they are.  Having this kind of people in my life has really broadened my appreciation for words of encouragement.  I find myself being more encouraging to others as well, which is just a happy little side effect.

You never know how big an effect the smallest words can have on someone’s day, someone’s week or even someone’s life.

Take a moment to really think about your everyday conversations and see where you may have room to work some encouragement into your own daily life.  I guarantee you the benefits will be reaped by not only those you encourage, but by you as well.

~Tanya

You can follow me at sunshineandbluemoon.blogspot.com and, as always, make it a great day!

 

A Bunny Makes A Great Listener

As I am feeding fluids to my daughter’s new bunny with an eyedropper, I am abruptly reminded of my daughter’s first years where I had roughly the same fight each day. This bunny means so much to us and I tell him this. He needs to stick around.

There is no accurate way to describe the heavy, sick feeling of desperation and terror that accompanies having an infant who cannot breathe, who cannot nurse or easily drink. This bunny forces me to remember just how much I hate that feeling. “I can’t lose this one” should not be a mantra for your life yet it was mine for a very, very long time.

This little bunny reminds me of the painful past we both survived.

This little bunny reminds of all we do as Moms.

How we beat ourselves up, turn ourselves inside out, drag ourselves to work and back, power through a stomping child’s tantrums, emergency room visits and the landfill of toys that is your house.

This bunny reminds me of what I have done.

With complete certainty, I knew my daughter was meant for me. She was my Rory Gilmore. It was going to be rainbows and puppy dogs forever. We would hold hands and skip off into the sunset.

So why can’t we get out of our own way? Why can’t we just enjoy each other each day?

Sucked down in the muck of trudging to work (and school), the sadness of leaving them only to have your hopes dashed at the end of the day when, excited and happy to see your child, you get a possessed Linda Blair instead.

Why can’t I handle her moods better and create a warm-happy-daydream evening for us every day?

I dream of long vacations where there are no time constraints, no looming job over my head, no homework, no chores, no mess. When we do get a vacation every few years, it is bliss and flies by in a blink. So how do I create a vacation kind of bond with my child? How do I feed that tethered link of love and connection every day?

The answer I have is to listen.

Listen with my nose in my phone? Nope. I must listen with my whole being. Listening with all of my heart and my eyes wide open is like directing a beam of light shining down on her that says,
“I care. I give a crap. I want to know what you do, how you think, what you dream about.”

Obvious, right?

My challenge, see how long you can listen to your child without putting away groceries and turning away, without putting away clothes, cleaning up a mess. Just stop. Maybe it is not always feasible but the times you can, do it. Make it a habit. Research suggests it takes 21 days to form a habit so try for 21 days to take moments of the day to stop everything and listen.

I know. I am the only one that keeps us on a schedule too and in the morning I often say,
“You can tell me in the car.” ”You can tell me after we get home.”

Sometimes she just needs me to stop and I feel I have forgotten this.

This little bunny is part of my elaborate plan for everyday is a vacation, when you are doing what you love with the people you want to be with. This means mom-daughter bonding moments in the care and cuddling of bunnies and road trips to rabbit shows. We joined 4H, which means among other things, visits to farms, joining a rabbit club, holding and posing animals. “I recommend 4H for every child. There are limitless opportunities to grow and learn with 4H. Real world opportunities for kids to master their future. And for us, 4H is the vacation in everyday life that we get to repeat every week.

A lot rides on this little bunny. My daughter now has a little furry person of her own to worry about, to care for, love and cuddle. Who will hopefully drink.

Thank you little bunny. Good talk.

Bernae

TWSM’s Book Review of ‘Fools Rush In’ by Kristan Higgins

This is the FIRST full audiobook that I have ever listened to and will review. I must say that I was very pleasantly surprised.  I chose a Kristan Higgins book because she is well known for writing what is called ‘women’s fiction’ and as we know that’s right up my alley…I haven’t written a book review since High School people so away we go…

Meet our heroine Doctor Millie Barnes. She has just moved back to her hometown of Eastham and has an executable game plan to win over the man she has been in love with since High School (who by the way has NO idea that she even exists), Joe Carpenter who is…you guessed it…a CARPENTER!  Millie is determined to drop a bunch of weight, get asked to be a doctor/partner in a local family practice and undergo a makeover that turns her into a beauty queen. Millie was the proverbial ‘ugly duckling’ in High School on Cape Cod and she is convinced that making all these changes to herself and forcing Joe Carpenter to fall in love with her will complete her life.  Millie could not be more mistaken as we all know that sometimes what we want isn’t what we need or what will makes us happy…

One of Millie’s dear friends is local Policeman, Sam Nickerson. Sam was married to Millie’s sister for a long time until she cheated on him, skipped town with another man and moved to New York. Millie’s sister left behind her son as well as her husband and Millie was left to pick up the pieces of her sister’s shattered family.  I don’t want to give away too much so suffice to say that Sam plays an interesting part in the overall story.

We are also introduced to Millie’s family, a few other close friends and her co-workers and it’s easy to quickly get invested in rooting for Millie as she finds her way from who she thinks she SHOULD be to who she is really MEANT to be.

‘Fools Rush In’ is an unconventional love story as well as the story of our heroine finding herself and coming to terms with shedding the past and all that goes along with it.  It’s a fun, light listen (on Audible’s Romance Package) and it made driving back and forth to Cape Cod in Summer traffic much more enjoyable than normal!  I highly recommend!

Here is a link to the book in Audible for those of you that are interested:

https://www.audible.com/pd/Romance/Fools-Rush-In-Audiobook/B016WNRNOY?qid=1531421132&sr=sr_1_1&ref=a_search_c3_lProduct_1_1&pf_rd_p=e81b7c27-6880-467a-b5a7-13cef5d729fe&pf_rd_r=EYY6JZRZYKCJHBNEKPWD&

Additionally here is a link to TRY Audible’s Romance Package for 30 Days for FREE:

http://audible.com/twsm

***Although this isn’t part of the promotion, I am currently part of a paid sponsorship for Audible’s Romance Package. Also please note that I truthfully LOVE the books that I have been listening to and this endorsement has been one of my favorites!