Tag Archives: journey

Dreaming Is Good

Dreaming is good.

I was on my third dream.  Or maybe it was my 5th dream?  Maybe it was all one dream that just kept changing so fast that in my slumber I didn’t recognize the connections. 

This is strange… I’m in a field yet a phone is ringing.  I didn’t realize if the phone was ringing IN the dream or IN my room.  It took a while for me to comprehend that the phone was actually ringing on my nightstand.  As I rolled over to locate it with my eyes still closed…. you see I didn’t want to open my eyes because then I might wake up.  Even if I opened my eyes just a little bit, I’d lose my place in my dream.  The dream that I was so rudely interrupted from.  I squinted with one eye and the clock said 3:00.  !?3AM?!  Who the heck is calling me at 3AM?  My eyes shot open only to find that it was only a phone number.  And in my phone…if a name doesn’t pop up when it rings…. Then I don’t know you.

I rolled back into my comfy blankets and tried to remember what was going on in my dream just 5 minutes ago.  I tried to go back there. I couldn’t put my finger on it nor could I return to the moment before the phone rang.  I was interrupted and now I was lost.  

It’s kind of like life and the dreams we have.  One minute we’re on a journey, answering the what’s, the why’s and the how’s.  Making lists and enjoying the excitement.  All the doors keep opening, goals become realities, it’s coming to life slowly…. and then there’s a hiccup.  A Huge Hiccup.  Like the phone call in the dream.  It takes you off your groove.  It lands you flat on your face.  Unnerved.  You are without words.

But unlike the inability to get back into your night dreaming, you do have the ability to pick yourself up, wipe yourself off and get back where you were with your life dream and continue from there.

xoxo,

Your God girl

Tracy

True North

My journey is long & narrow & tough to boot, but I’m on it… following my True North.

My TRUTH.

My Tru (eNor) th.  My Truth.  I’ve got my good gloves & tall boots on.

The opponent knows exactly how to attack me too.  Jabbing left and right. Throwing jealous thoughts, unworthy ideas and a who-gives-a-blankety-blank attitude to me at neck-breaking speed.  Does he lure you with an ex-husband, old lifestyle, broken bad habit.  Tempt you with food, shopping, romance novels.  Attracting you with anxiety, burdens and drama.

Have you ever allowed your ego to get in the way?  Let it have something to say? and sometimes… actually make time to listen?

I did.  But NOT anymore!   NOW as I fill my life with God’s ever-powerful grace & mercies, I get closer to my True North.  My raw, real, vibrant self.  And the more I am aware of and ready for the enemies attacks… the stronger I stand.  I’m vigilant at best.  Standing with the Truth in my back pocket, always available at my fingertips whenever I need it.  Now that I can see, hear and taste the lies, I’m not so gullible to listen.

When I get hit from behind, out of nowhere, ….and I’m heading down the rabbit hole, I am reminded of my Truth & I’m back on track.  “THIS IS NOT happening today!” with a big ‘Kapow’ in my voice.  The kind of Kapow that Robin explodes with, while fighting alongside Batman.

I have no room for the enemy’s lies or lurking.  I remember when I’d plummet and stay depressed for days.  Listening to the lies, believing them and saddling up with the enemy on his sissy seat.  But now, because of the courage, wisdom and knowing My Truth, which fills me up from head to toe, I can turn the other cheek, tell him to take a peanut and go away and press on with my day.

It is that “I know like I know, like I KNOW” understanding that I have and the many upswings, joys and victories that I hold on to, rather than give the opponent even one inkling of attention.

NOT TODAY!

xoxo

Your God girl

Tracy

Codependent Turned Soul Dependent: My Honest Journey

Growing up, I didn’t receive a lot of validation.  Oh, I longed for it, but it was seldom given.  It turns out, invalidation is one of the most important ingredients to the recipe for being codependent.

Codependency, in my case, rooted in my childhood from a few other things too.  Namely, a lack of nurturing, fear of parental anger toward each other and myself, emotional and “acceptable” physical abuse in the form of heavy-handed spankings and slaps across the face that sent me sailing across the room, and having an alcoholic father and a codependent mother who was also a child of an alcoholic father. Cycles do tend to repeat. There was a great deal of emotional trauma in my childhood, and only in the last couple of years, have I begun to understand the connection between those early years and my lifetime quest to find self love.

I did a really great job of covering up my inner conflicts for most of my life.  I married my high school sweetheart at age 23, made a successful career for myself, and had four beautiful children for which I found my purpose.  Raising my children was the most fulfilling thing I had ever known, and their unconditional love seemed to complete me.  Before I knew it, I was an over-achieving, perfectionist, super mom.  I was running my own business, working late at night to keep up on the bookwork, nursing my babies, running myself ragged keeping up on laundry, cooking, cleaning, raising a large garden, canning vegetables, anticipating every need for my workaholic husband, and the list goes on and on.  My need to please and prove was keeping everyone happy…everyone, that is, except for me.

The problem was, I was doing all these things hoping for validation and not necessarily doing them because they brought me joy.  Don’t get me wrong. I wouldn’t trade one single day of motherhood, and many of those things are non-negotiable.  Our children deserve to be loved and nurtured and well cared for.  My kids did and still do bring me more joy than I can ever explain.  Compounding the problem, though, was that no one was really validating me for any of these things anyway.  I didn’t realize back then that my own validation was all that I needed.   Instead of feeling fulfilled, I started pushing down disappointment and sadness, and, without knowing it, resentment and anger started to build.

I’ve since learned a lot about codependency, and one of my favorite teachers on this subject is Lisa A. Romano.  Lisa says, “Emotions are meant to flow.  When pushed down, we begin to rot from the inside out.”  I was a master at pushing the feelings down, and finally, all that rotting garbage began to fester.  It wasn’t pretty.  I first identified it as a midlife crisis.  Six years later, I now see it as a spiritual awakening, and as my other great inspiration, Brene Brown, describes it, my soul was breaking out of my body.  Oddly enough, that probably sounds a little more eloquent than rotten garbage oozing out of the trash can of my soul, but for those that witnessed it, they’d probably describe the latter.

It all started to rear its ugly head when my oldest two children were leaving the nest.  I didn’t understand what was happening right away, and I did everything I could to research it and try to fix it.  After all, I was great at fixing things, or so I thought.  It didn’t go quite as smoothly as I’d have hoped.  My marriage fell apart, and all of my repressed feelings started to come out sideways.  I went through a period of self destruction and tried to escape my reality and pain in a myriad of unhealthy ways.  I eventually hit my rock bottom and figured out I had to look within.  No one else was going to save me.

Fast forward, I’m finally recovering, but it is not without a lot of hard lessons and a whole lot of what I call tender loving soul care.  Coincidentally, that is the term I coined to describe my own blog.

As a new guest blogger for The Working Single Mom, I can’t squeeze my entire detailed journey into one article, but I hope that I am able to continue to tell you about my path to healing and inspire you to find some self love too.  As a mother, there is also room for personal happiness and fulfillment, creative living, and finding your other passions and purposes.  We are allowed to have more than one.

The key to my recovery has been facing my feelings, looking at deep wounds and sitting with that pain, a whole lot of inner child work, learning about my codependency, and working diligently to heal all of these areas.  I’ve learned a lot about self care and have started practicing mindfulness and meditation, yoga, and journaling.  I’ve worked with three online counselors at different phases of my healing journey. I have started writing as a hobby and a passion, have discovered a love of nature photography as a form of meditation and gratitude, and started antiquing with a dear friend as a fun hobby and a small business venture.  Not only that, I’ve learned to set boundaries in my life and surround myself with positive, healthy people.   And even though it still takes a conscious effort not to want to be validated for all of my progress and success, for cooking great dinners, and wearing my 50-year-old heart on my sleeve, I know I am healing, and I am finding joy in wholehearted living.

Yesterday, I took my two daughters to a Broadway show called Bandstand.  That in itself, was a new and enjoyable experience for the three of us.  There was a great line in the play, and it resonated with me.  It went like this, “Don’t sing because you want the lead. Sing because you need to sing.”

If you decide to read what I write, that makes me happy.  I hope that I can inspire others, however, I am not writing to gain praise and validation.  I’m writing because I need to write.  It helps me to heal, validate my own experiences, and most importantly, it feeds my soul.

If you were to sit down and think about what makes you happy, I can bet that many of you do not know the answer. When we are raising kids, we sometimes get lost in the shuffle.  A mother’s identity is usually just that; a mother.  I can tell you there is more, and it is not selfish to find what stirs your soul.  In fact, if you are taking care of your own needs, you will be better able to love and care for your children.

I write because I need to write.

I ask you now, not what you have to do, but what is it that you need to do?  Deep down, you know the answer.  Just listen and let that answer lead you. Your soul is begging you to ask the question.

Blanche Bouvier

http://tenderlovingsoulcare.com/

Learning To Love The Unique Me

I’m sitting here by myself at a local Mediterranean Restaurant.  I’m here for a little bit of much needed “me” time.  Of all of the places to spend my time, I chose this one because the music is great, the people are friendly, it’s not too loud, but most importantly the food is amazing.  I also chose this place because no one in my family likes this type of food.  I don’t have it often, so it’s kind of a treat to myself.  As I sit here enjoying my time away, I am reminded of just how different-unique- from my family I am.

I am an only child, I was born and raised in a very urban area in the north east, I love diverse types of foods and cultures, and I love all different types of music…well except for country.  All of these things are quite a bit different from that of my husband and children.  While we never really focus on things we differ in, as I sit and ponder these things it reminds me of how wonderful being different can be.

When you think of the word different, at times it can have a negative connotation to it.  Growing up, I looked at different as being weird or strange.  In this very moment as an adult woman, I see that the word different also can mean unique.   I always looked at things that were different about me as being bad.  For example, I have struggled with my weight for as long as I can remember.  I have always been curvy, but after having 3 children and being almost 40 years old, I am finding that it is much more difficult to get back to the figure I once had in my 20’s.  My body is different now.  Areas that were once firm are now jiggly, and my stomach is covered in stretch marks.  All of these things are very different from what is portrayed on television, in films, magazines and social media.  But guess what?  These things are unique to me.  My body is different, and my belly has stretch marks because I am different.  I have carried 3 people inside of my body and given them life.  I’d say that’s pretty special.  So while I may never be wearing a bikini, I am very proud of what my unique body has created, and I can maintain my health even if I’m not the size I was years ago.

I also used to hate that my parents were divorced.  They separated when I was very young and divorced when I was 12.  I have always been very close to my mom for this reason but growing up my closest friends lived with both their mom and dad.  No one else that I knew had to split their holidays or spend weekends away from home.  I used to always feel that this difference was so bad.  Now looking back on it, I see how special this really was.  This allowed me to have a relationship with my mother that not many people have.  It has also showed me the value of marriage and has allowed me to be able to give advice to divorced friends who are worried about how their children are coping.  This thing that set me apart from my friends as a kid has allowed me a unique advantage as far as my perspective on marriage and parenting as an adult.

So yes, I’m different.  I’m unique.  I’m special.  I’m me, and I love me some me!  I may not have all of my I’s dotted or my T’s crossed.  I may still struggle with some insecurities and overthink how I could have done or said something better.  I’m not perfect, but I am enjoying this journey of learning to love the once different, now unique me.

 

~1spentmom~

Let That S*&% Go!

Let That S*&% Go!…

What I am about to share may seem surprising considering I often riff about the fact I tend to hold on to things and over analyze.

However, in my journey of over analyzing I’m learning there is a whole lot I need to let go. I’ve talked about this before. Now that I’m actually doing it, it’s been kind of amazing the difference it’s made in my life.

Less stress for starters.

I have also started speaking up. Putting space between myself and things that aren’t working for me. People included.

Stress is a silent killer and it’s amazing the things that can help it creep in. It’s sad who might hold the door open.

It is also sad the things I have let get to me. It’s taken some very frank conversations with some people I love and trust a whole lot, to realize sometimes I feed into my self doubt and insecurities. I assume the worst. I listen to the voice inside my head and sometimes the voice of others who I absolutely should not.

Rather than take a moment and stop and think about what is upsetting me.

I believe the worst and for awhile there I had a team of cheerleaders agreeing with me.

Not to say there have been things that have happened that definitely have caused me to put the barbed wire up around my heart sometimes and unfortunately scrutinize things I just shouldn’t.

However…

Not everyone in my life is going to hurt me. Just because someone else did.

Not everyone is going to lie to me just because someone else did.

Not everything is going to fall apart.

Not everyone is out to get me.

I am lovable even when I don’t feel like I am.

This is whole thing, life it’s not a competition.

People who love and care about you should never make you feel like it is.

I should never feel like it is.

Because it isn’t.

It really is a journey.

A crazy, bumpy one with some serious twists and turns but at the end of the day it’s mine and as long as I’m happy and G is happy,the rest of it…

Well I’m letting it go.

I hope when you have those moments, or days you can too Mommas.

Much love.

<3Caprise

More Better Days

Don’t stop me if you’ve heard this already, it’s a good one. Do you realize that most of our “better days” haven’t even happened yet? That is actually quite amazing. I have been blessed enough in my life to have some awesome “better days”. Not all of them have been major accomplishments or even stacked with luxury. They all happened while just living out my life in real time.

I was able watch and beam with pride as my son and his team won a State Football Championship his senior year. I have screamed at the top of my lungs and jumped up and down while witnessing my daughter make a game winning PK in a shootout at a State Soccer Tournament. I have held babies, traveled to places with some of my favorite people, laughed until it hurt and tears streamed down my face, bought coffee for strangers behind me, seen some amazing sunrises and phenomenal sunsets. Talk about better days! I have had plenty…and I could go on and on.

I have also had my share of war stories. Having to pick myself up in times where I thought I couldn’t go on – maneuvering through some of the worst times of my life thus far. Feelings of insecurity, uncertainty, and shame. Feeling like I am transparent and that everyone in the entire world can see through me and knows my every fear and wanting to hide from the world because of it. But, I want more “better days”… and they are coming for me.

Recently, I have put a considerable amount of thought into what “better days” means to me. It means feeling more whole. More complete. Feeling more joys than sorrows. Tipping the happiness scale in my favor. The best part? I have a hand in choosing those better days. I get to choose how I respond to things that are not meant for me. I get to eliminate things that rob me of my joy, to bring myself peace. I don’t have to explain why and I don’t owe anyone anything for doing it. I get to hold out and know that I will indeed have better days – and I am ready.

Ready for those days to enter my life and burn themselves into my memory. Thinking of the times to come brings tears of excitement to my eyes. I look forward to seeing my children accomplishing their goals, watching them get married, holding my future grandchildren. I get to look forward to traveling to beautiful destinations that photos don’t do justice, and take it all in. When the time is right – experiencing immense butterflies with a first kiss, and at some point falling in love all over again. Driving with the windows down and the radio up while it plays my favorite songs on a warm summer day. Those are what “better days” are made of.

I get it, there will be some not-so-better-days ahead too. Dates on the calendar that we’d rather not remember. Holes and voids in our hearts left by those who should have loved us more. Missing someone who is gone too soon. Wanting to fall into bed at the end of the day painfully waiting for the day to be over. However, those days make the better ones so much more important. It aids them to be appreciated more.

Better days are on the horizon. I refuse to let them pass me by going unnoticed for what they truly are. I exercise my right to no longer feel as if I am required to walk with my head down and blinders on. There are more “better days” meant for me, and for you too!

I am putting up and waving my white flag in the wind, and giving up feeling like I don’t deserve the better days ahead. Instead, I am relishing in the appreciation and anticipation that I in fact get better days.

 

  • Jenn

Who We Are And How We Got Here

This is who we are and this is how we got here..

My eldest son, James will be 19 in December. He is on the Autism spectrum (High Functioning). When we had James diagnosed at the University of Washington Autism Center almost 9 years ago one of the things the neuropsychologist told my partner and I was the best thing we could have done for James leading up to his late diagnosis was to treat him “normally”. What this meant is that James had chores and household responsibilities appropriate for his age and was held responsible when his behavior needed correcting even when we knew something was different about the way James was seeing the world and digesting experiences.

I went home after that visit and cried for two days. I couldn’t even look at my son square in the eyes. See what the doctor at the UW thought was great about how we had parented James up to the point of diagnosis, was exactly what had me riddled with guilt. Guilt for every nag and fuss and sarcastic response or impatient look or tuned out tangent. I felt embarrassed for every time I pushed him to be involved in an organized sport or sit through a loud movie or make eye contact with a stranger. And the more I read up on Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) the worse I felt.

And then one day I got over it. I think it was during a conversation with my sister where she pointed out that I hadn’t been even close to being abusive or bad to James. I had been loving and firm, just like our father had been with us. And I knew I was doing my absolute best so on that day I decided that I was going to use my own parental compass and parent my kids exactly the way that I wanted to. Always attempting to lead with love.

For the most part, for the last 18 almost 19 years James has been nearly angelic. When my friends were having issues with their adolescent sons I was boasting about the cake walk I was on with James. The biggest challenge I had was securing supportive services for him through school. And the funniest part about that is I would work my butt off to secure a service and James would work even harder to prove he didn’t need it or very little of it.

It’s been my experience that finding support for non ASD presenting kids is hard. And let’s be clear, finding services for non neurotypical people is a monster effort and should be way easier than it is. But I feel like diagnosing and finding support for a non verbal child with classic ASD signs and symptoms is more straightforward than diagnosing and supporting a child that presents as neurotypical but does really quirky and sometimes dangerous stuff off and on. Most of my challenge around getting supportive services after our diagnosis was that at around age 13 James asked that we stop participating in the local Autism Awareness campaigns and walks and to stop advertising that we were an ASD family to our neighbors and on social media. I agreed but I found that after a while I felt closeted and shut off from other ASD parents and resources. The only support I had was on Facebook and the groups I joined never seemed to have parents or ASD members having similar experiences as us.

The other part of the challenge is that my son’s high functioning autism (HF ASD) has what we in my family call Cloudy Days. Meaning, we can go months without any significant spikes in characteristics commonly found with people on the spectrum and then one day I will notice that James is pacing (that’s how he stems) or he is having a hard time articulating his thoughts. When these “cloudy days” happen usually there is something that has lead up to it: over indulgence in processed foods, being overwhelmed at school, having a bad day at work, not feeling well or friend issues. I used to be able to anticipate these days because I was more in touch with what was happening at school or with friends but since James has started having more and more experiences that don’t include me, I am usually blindsided when his autism has spikes.

James is hyper aware of the stigmas that come with people’s lack of understanding of Autism as a spectrum and is sensitive to being treated like any other young person. So, I’ve tried to help him in any way I could. In some ways it has been a blessing that I was a very young woman when I had him. We share many of the same taste in music and pop culture and it’s not a stretch for me to understand his perspective on many things. Between my daughter (James’ younger sister) and I, we’ve become his social queue and societal support. My daughter specifically was great about breaking things down for James. And as he got older and learned behaviors became more automatic, James became a terrific social support to her too. They have a very special bond. In fact as I write this blog entry they are in the dining room cracking up over some YouTube video that they’re watching.

But over time, as it happens in every household with children, James has gotten older and includes me less and less in his decisions and requires more and more freedom. Freedom in his decision making and freedom physically from home.

You should know, I grew up in and around Los Angeles county in California. I’ve been around shaky situations and sketchy characters my entire life. I got a very normal 80’s baby city kid upbringing. But as a parent, I work really hard to raise my kids in cities with low crime rates and good schools. My kids have had very little exposure to all the danger that awaits them in the world. So the idea of my somewhat naïve 18 year old navigating around the city with his friends shook/shakes me to my core.

I’ve always been really honest with James about my concerns. And he is been great about navigating his new freedom with care. But like a boomerang coming back to it’s owner it appears that some of the heartache I dished my parents is coming back to haunt me.

Recently, I’ve been forced to wake up and think about the “support” I’ve been giving James up to this point.

  • Was I helping him when I agreed to lesson my involvement with the local Autism resource groups?
  • Was I helping him by not forcing him to socialize with other people on the spectrum?
  • Have I been a helper to him by being in every nook and cranny of his life, so much so that he may have had to keep secrets to have privacy?
  • Have I been the best mother to him without the tools of other ASD parents who have traveled this road before me?
  • Have I given him too much control over how we will live as an ASD family?

I’ve lost a lot of sleep and consumed many a cocktail mulling over these questions in the last few weeks. I’ve searched the internet and reached out to support groups in other states and none of what I find seems to speak to where I am or the questions I have. James is capable of taking care of himself. But do I believe I’ll need to provide a moderate amount of support for possibly longer than most parents of newly launched young adults? Yes. I believe he’ll get to any place he wants to be in his timing. But I can’t help but feel like someone out there has launched a teen with HF ASD into adulthood and being able to pick their brain for a while would help me so much.

I’m going to start a new blog series on my page documenting this journey of launching James into adulthood. Maybe someone that is parenting a younger child similar to my James will find these entries and they’ll help them. Or maybe I’ll just write these entries to get all the concern running through my head out and on paper so I can sleep at night. I don’t know. I guess we’ll just have to see what happens.

*Life Thief is a “real life” lifestyle blogger with a sassy mouth and real woman and mother sensibilities.

You can find her other blog posts at: https://thestolenlifechronicles.wordpress.com/

Single By Choice

One of the craziest journeys I have been on so far has to be choosing to be single. I was single by accident for a year before I chose to be single on purpose for another year before dating.

I made this decision to help in the process of bettering myself, and it has helped a lot.

Not only have I become comfortable being single it has also helped to weed out “guy friends”.

Some people never desire anything more than the thing or person they cant have.

So many of these friends found out I was single on purpose, and it went from a feeling of casual friends to feeling I had a target on my head. I’ve had to weed some of these friends out because the way they went about expressing their sudden strong interest in me was in no way appropriate and showed me how little respect they had for me.

Most of them would make inappropriate comments, one went as far as smacking me in the rear at work. It really opened my eyes to the fact of If I had not marked myself and my standards down over the years, I wouldn’t of ended up with the guys I had because I would have seen the red flags from miles away. Yes, whom I’ve dated Is 100% my fault.

For years I was pretty upset over what others have done to me, especially people that I have dated. Now i’m looking at everything with fresh eyes, I am the one who let them treat me like that, I’m the one who continuously held the door open to low quality men.

So for now I am still choosing to stay single, I am enjoying working on myself, and elevating myself. I will not have to save the person I want to be with, nor will they have to save me. That person when the time is right will understand what mutual respect is and what a healthy relationship looks like.

I am absolutely thrilled with my journey, even when the growing pains can get a little rough.

Happy and Thriving,

Ali

No One Has It Together

I have a big fat, mind blowing, earth shattering, life changing reality check for you. It’s something that took me a long time to realize and even longer to embrace. It’s also something I have to remind myself of on a regular basis!

Are you ready for it?

Really ready?

No one has their shit together. Not me, not you. Not your pastor, banker, mayor, doctor, librarian or hair dresser. Not your neighbor across the street whose entire yard and house make the homes from the latest edition of Home and Garden look sad and pathetic. Not the president of the PTA who is on every committee, and at every bake sale. Not your college roommate who just landed their dream job. And not even your brother’s, girlfriend’s, cousin’s, neighbor’s uncle that just won the lottery.

Newsflash! Everyone has something in their lives they want to be different. Just because their lives look great on the surface, doesn’t mean they have it all figured out! That neighbor with the perfect house may be struggling with overwhelming anxiety and OCD, and their spotless home and yard are how they cope. (Or may be a sign they AREN’T coping!) The PTA mom might be throwing herself into volunteer work because her marriage is falling apart. Your college roommate may have gotten their dream job, but also just got diagnosed with cancer. And let’s be real here, when has winning the lottery EVER actually solved all of someone’s problems?

It has taken me YEARS to get to the point where I no longer have to fight the urge to laugh in someone’s face, when they tell me that I inspire them or that they look up to me. My internal reaction is still “Oh honey, if only you knew!” Now, however I am able to step back and see what they see. A strong, capable, single mom with special needs kids, who works full time, finds time to volunteer, goes to church (albeit irregularly), gets to the gym (also irregularly) and manages some semblance of a social life. What they don’t see are the days that my anxiety is overwhelming, the times I lose my temper on my kids, the fact that my housekeeping style is best described as “there appears to have been a struggle” or the fact that I quite literally live on caffeine and carbs most days because I honestly can’t remember the last time I woke up feeling rested.

The more you start really connecting with other people, the more you realize that their lives aren’t as perfect as they appear on the surface. The stronger the person appears the rockier their past usually is. What you see is someone strong, and brave. What they feel is broken and defeated. Every time someone tells me they finally feel like they have their ducks in a row, they get hit with a life changing curve-ball. Heck, the entirety of my last few years has been one huge curve-ball after another!

Don’t get me wrong, by no means am I saying not to try! What I am saying, is cut yourself some slack. Stop comparing your journey to other people’s, and start appreciating the life you have. Stop striving for perfection and start being proud of your progress. If you aren’t satisfied with a certain aspect of your life, find a way to change it.

So, go out there. Grow. Heal. Learn. Embrace your beautiful disaster of a self. And most importantly, remember no one really has their shit together. We are all just winging it.

Embrace your perfectly imperfect self,

-Charli

https://thechroniclesofchuck.home.blog/

Twin Flame: Karmic Twins

In the process of finding our twin, we will come across karmic twins. These people have also been referred to false twins but I dont think thats quite right. When we meet our karmic twin(s) we most likely are almost in complete alignment. They will mimic the pattern we look for in twins, seperation, lost connection and strong strong connection.

They will throw us out of alignment to dredge up what still needs healing. Our true twins will trigger us too, but with karmic twins things will not come easily.It will not be easy to bridge the gap with this person. With a Karmic twin your souls will align 90% instead of 100% with your true twin.

That 10% doesn’t seem like alot, but its huge, and its the part that counts. I’m not saying you will find your true twin flame only when they are 100% aligned. If you find them before that and they are your twin you may go through another separation.

The amount of karmic twins you will encounter all depends on what you have left to heal before coming into union, and this will be different for everyone.

Don’t get disheartened in your journey, it’s a hard but beautiful journey. Each one of our journeys is unique, just remember you and your twin decided your journey to each other before coming into the 3d flesh world.

Always be unapologetically true to yourself,

Ali