Tag Archives: intentions

What Is Intent?

Intent is a word that I have been tossing around in my head all morning.

If you are anything like me, a conversation like this has gone on in your house:

 

Boy Child: “I didn’t intend to knock over the Christmas tree. I’m sorry, Mom.”

Me: “But surely you did not intend NOT to knock over the Christmas tree, you were doing handstands right next to it.”

 

You try having that discussion with a straight face, I dare you.

But intentions are two fold, aren’t they? On the one hand you have the outcome that you intended to happen and on the other you have the outcome that you did not intend to prevent. Sometimes they are equally important and they have a wide range of applications.

For instance, I did not intend to gain back the 30 pounds I lost 2 years ago, but we have established, in my last post, that I did not intend to stop it either.

We also get ourselves into trouble when we assume someone else’s intent. Even in our closest relationships in life, we do not always know what outcome the other person is looking for in their actions. We tend to assume we know and we can do a lot of damage that way.

I read this story today (I will put a link at the bottom) where this young man kept getting annoyed because a college mate would always put stuff on his desk and then have to clear it off when he arrived. This was followed by a high five. The student was irritated every day. He could not understand why the other man would not just keep his stuff to himself and he really did not want to high five first thing in the morning, until he showed up late and heard the man telling another student that the spot was reserved for his good friend. He had been holding the desk for him all that time and considered him a friend.

The story really motivated me to look deep into the intent behind people’s actions, because the truth of the matter is that we are not all walking zombies as the media would have you believe. We are people, and we do things that matter to us. My son wanted to do handstands, that was important to him. It was not important to him that the tree remain standing, because he was not focused on it. It was important to me to feel numb and not important at the time to watch my weight. It was important to the student to sit in the same desk every day, and maybe it was important to him to have something to be irritated at first thing in the morning, but the other man was motivated to be kind to another human and make a friend in class.

So maybe we need to look deeper. Maybe the guy we went on the date with last week who wore too much cologne and laughed too loudly at his own jokes was nervous. Maybe his intention was to mask that. Maybe when we feel our parents are overstepping their bounds, their intentions are to help us not make the same mistakes they did, not to annoy us. And honestly, maybe life needs more handstands and high fives.

So, I’m going to stop and appreciate them and try to figure out just where they come from.

https://www.upworthy.com/viral-tweet-classroom-seating?fbclid=IwAR3RVUWmJfPdZbPrn6tiGrnXl-XN_U4AV2mFlkOx7BzeB-4wGz79lMOwqOE

 

Stronger Than Yesterday,

Alice

An Eye Opening Experience

I knew that entering into high school would bring many changes to my life. Not only was I prepared for the academic challenges I’d be facing, but I was ready for the social challenges that would come along when entering a new school. One thing I knew for sure was that those I had considered close to me at the time would stick with me through it all…or so I thought.

Recently, I went through something that I would never wish upon someone else. I had an experience that truly opened my eyes to the genuine intentions of some of the people around me. Someone that I considered quite close to me for so long, made me feel as if our friendship was of no value to them. They treated me with little respect, and made it obvious that my feelings did not affect theirs.

To be honest, I really had never experienced something on this level, and I was in complete shock for many of the following days. It wasn’t until this moment that I became aware that not everyone in your life is rooting for your success or happiness, even if you have always rooted for theirs. It was also a wake up call to see who was really there for me and who actually cared about my well-being.

I’m positive that this will not be the only time that something similar to this will occur, but hopefully this experience taught me something valuable about surrounding yourself with people who care about your happiness and how YOU feel.

My advice is to really figure out who these wonderful people in your life are, and to spend time building your positive friendships. I also suggest that you distance yourself from all the negative people that want to bring you down.

-Dani<3