Tag Archives: inspire

A Lesson In Leadership (again)

We were talking about leadership on last Saturday morning’s Coffee Chat Show and I was reminding you all that everyone is a leader in SOME way in their lives.  As parents we are certainly leaders for our children.  Below is one of my pieces on Leadership that was included in a book, it is one of my favorites and I wanted to share it with you again:

Often people think of ‘Leadership’ as something that comes with privilege, they assume that once a person serves in a leadership capacity, they enjoy a ‘charmed’ life.  They forget that REAL leadership is ‘power WITH’ not ‘power over’.  

When a calling has been placed on your life to lead, life itself sets out to equip you for it.  This usually involves challenges and circumstances that will bring you to your knees.   When you are in God’s leadership training you don’t get a manual or a letter in the mail, no email comes and no instruction booklet is available. Life just starts to kick the crap out of you, challenges materialize from all over and you can be sure they will include betrayal and disappointment.  

Many people ‘want’ to be leaders; they envision that being a leader is important, filled with glory and has a lot of perks…perhaps they even think that being a leader is where the ‘money’ is.  The truth?  Being a leader, is in fact, more difficult than any other task. Being a good or great leader?  That requires more work than most people can even fathom.

In order to lead you must be able to follow…happily and humbly.  You must be able to take direction and work within someone else’s framework even if you think you could do it better. If you can’t follow someone else then NOBODY will ever follow you, no matter how amazing you perceive yourself to be.  This is an important skill to understand, the act of following happily and humbly.  I promise you that every great leader began by following someone else first.

To lead successfully you lead by example, you first do the task that you wish to entrust to someone else.  You need to have executed that task with excellence to understand what it feels like to complete that particular thing successfully.  If you want to direct people then you have to be coming from a place that includes already doing that work, otherwise people will ignore your requests and resent you.  If you think you are too good to clean windows or toilets or empty trash, yet you imagine that someone ‘beneath’ you should do those things, then you are not leadership material.  Any attitude of ‘entitlement’ has no place in leadership.

I don’t care who you are or who you think you are—nobody is beneath you and you are not better than anyone else on the planet.  You may be different and you may have more advanced skills and you may make more money, however you are not ‘better’ than any other human being.  God created all of us equal and to be a great leader you will do well to remember this and to treat people accordingly.

Real leaders want to build people up and help them get to the next level in their lives; leaders know that their job is to leave everything better than they found it.  They make it their business to INSPIRE other people and contribute to them.  Leaders speak about possibility and they refrain from criticism and sarcasm.

There are so many people trying to succeed and lead and they keep forgetting the source of true leadership which is to lead by example.  You first must FOLLOW the disciplines that you wish to teach, you must walk the walk and succeed there before anyone will listen to you.  Sure, you can lead without doing this and whatever you are trying to do will fall apart, eventually it will collapse on top of you and you won’t prosper to your full ability.

You can’t sleep late, live like a slob, be rude, and treat people poorly, lack self-discipline and then get dressed up in a suit and go tell people how to be a success.  People may look like they are listening, yet you will lack the authenticity needed to produce results.  You can put lipstick on a pig, but it is still a pig.  

Gandhi said “be the change in the world that you want to see”.  Sometimes leaders think that they are an exception to this…

Be authentic, don’t try to teach what you haven’t learned.

 

See you Saturday for Coffee Chat at 8:30am EST.

XO, N.

Inspiration Is A Tough Thing

Inspiration is a tough thing.  Everyone is inspired by something different. And as my life continues to change and grow and along with maturity what inspires me often changes too.  Of course I am inspired to do well, succeed, set an example and all those things that come along with being a mother. So yes, my children inspire me to be the best that I can be no matter what stage or feeling I am in my life.

My personal inspiration that has been a constant through all the stages in my life is my maternal Grandma-Grandma Joyce.  She’s a tiny little character all but 4’10 on a good day! I never remember a day where my grandma wasn’t dressed to the 9’s and with her face carefully applied. I spent a lot of time with my grandma at her house when I was little, I would spend the nights there and she would let me dress up in her clothes and shoes. She lived across the gravel road from a river access and we spent a lot of time exploring the area. She had a huge garden, a beautiful koi pond outside her living room window, a huge yard that she would have Easter eggs hunts in every year with the eggs pantyhose use to come in, my bed time snack was always a bowl of cereal. To this day cereal still doesn’t taste as perfect as it did at her house. Her home was immaculate and her screened in front porch was my absolute favorite place to be! I don’t ever recall her raising her voice or a hand to me in all those years. When I became a young woman she gifted me with a book that she had written to me about advice, memories we shared, wishes and love she had. I don’t think it was until I read this book that I truly understood the torment she suffered in those years that everything in my eyes was absolutely perfect. I knew my grandpa had left their marriage and had remarried when I was approximately 10 years old but I never had a clue how upset my grandma truly was. She is a devout Catholic and getting divorced “back then” was shameful to her and she had to go through a lot of steps in order to get the divorce.  She too eventually remarried-I am not entirely convinced she remarried for love, I believe she loved him but that she also remarried to not be alone. I do not believe she was ever in love with him the way she is in love with my grandpa. My grandpa has since passed away as has my step-grandpa. My grandma is still alive and well, dressed to the 9’s and perfectly placed face. Feisty as all get out. She appears to be happy but even if she wasn’t-I don’t know that I would ever know. I admire and am inspired by that woman for everything that she is. She is 85 years old and complains little and loves a lot. She has taught me to get up each and every day and dress like you mean it. Misery loves company and that’s not the place to be. She is a woman who forgives but has her breaking point too. And she never ever seems bitter. She inspires me every day to be a strong, forgiving, loving, woman.

Love to All-Kim

Imparting Some Wisdom

For months now I have been trying to force myself to blog daily for you guys, or at the very least five times a week…you have only to look at the recent blog posts to see how miserably I have failed at this task.  It’s awfully hard to grow a blog site with no fresh content, just sayin’.

My problem is that my style of blogging has been to deliver a message, impart some wisdom that you might find inspiring, have and make a point with the post…yet over the past few years some days I don’t feel very inspiring and I can’t seem to dig anything out of myself that seems good enough to make a blog post out of…yet people continue to ask me to write.  This morning I posted a small paragraph on my FB public page and as of 7:46pm when I am writing this to you it has 2,100 likes, 56 comments and hundreds of shares etc…that tells me that I should probably get my head out of my ass and start writing again.  So, here is what I came up with…today I am launching “The Daily Discussion” which will be a blog post talking about whatever the heck is on my mind for the day.  I can only imagine that it will be a mix of all kinds of things as a day around here is better than a Seinfeld episode.  It is my hope that many of you will subscribe to and start following the blog as well as begin commenting on it.

Today started out with me fighting some ‘not so nice’ feelings about someone that treated me badly in the past hence my FB post this morning reminding myself as well as all of you that karma never loses an address and that it is my job to let God sort stuff out that seems unfair…at times that is sooooooo hard to do.  By making that post for all of you it reminded me also.

Then there was work and the kid who is affectionately called ‘boy’ and in fact when I don’t call him ‘boy’ and actually use his name he becomes immediately concerned, maybe after 15 years he actually thinks his name is ‘boy’!  Everyone in my world uses this term for him, so going forward when I reference ‘boy’ or ‘the boy’ you will know that is my son.  For those of you that have teenagers you can appreciate the joyful attitude that they have first thing in the morning and then again when you pick them up from school—NOT!!!  He’s a really good kid and I am grateful for that, yet like all teenagers he can use some attitude adjustments at certain times of the day…let’s hope he is not reading the blog!!!

A year and a half ago I moved from TN back home to Fairfax, Vermont because my mother was having a health challenge (she is better now)…I am an only child and when I got that phone call on Feb. 14th of 2015 in TN, I knew that I never wanted to be that far away again and receive a phone call like that.  So within 3 months I purged and packed and bought a house in VT and by May 2015 we were living here back in Northern Vermont.  That being said there is ALWAYS something to do here concerning work, the boy, the house or the land…so probably, like most of you I feel like I never stop and today is no different.

I did want to sit and get this first post done for you because it has been on my mind all day.  That’s my story for today, I will be back tomorrow and I hope that you will join me.

Sending you all love and prayers…