Tag Archives: inspiration

Everyone Has Soulmates

Everyone has soulmates of all different shapes and sizes of them. Soulmates are levers for change and growth, for learning in our life. Not on the same scale as twin flames, but still very important.

Best friends, lovers, family. People who have had large impacts on your life, views and feelings.

Each one has a single lessen for you, and most of the time even though they are dear to you once that lesson is learned they get removed from your life.

They are simply a catalyst for change, and growth. Some stick around, and they end up playing a huge roll in our life after we have learned what they were send to teach, but majority leave soon after. When you try to hang on to a soulmate that tries to leave it can be painful and the relationship can become very toxic.

This lack of permanency in our life does not affect the value and important of soul mates they are a crucial part of our lives and should be cherished.  If you know someone who keeps going in and out of your life take a look and see the difference in yourself during those times and I can almost guarantee you’ll find the lesson that you haven’t completed.

Always be unapologetically yourself,

Ali

Punk Prom

As I’m writing this I’m also celebrating the year milestone of meeting my celebrity crush. A certain punk icon turned writer, actor, and speaker.

Up until meeting him I tried and failed several times to get him to be on my radio show when he was in the area.

Always I received a polite email from his manager that his schedule prevented him from doing so.

I’m gonna be honest, I volunteer at a community radio station. I don’t think I’m a high priority for any musician when they’re in town. But that doesn’t stop me from asking.

I always ask.

I almost always hear no.

And… I’m ok with that.

So… when said punk icon was coming to speak nearby- I bought tickets and made a weekend of it. Two nights before the event I received an email that because I bought premium seats I was also invited to a meet and greet.

Yup… it was happening.

The meet and greet was only a half hour and there were a whole lot of guidelines to follow.

Of the folks in the room I’m here to say I was not like the others and was uncomfortably aware. However, I promised myself I was going to be me.

Before you went up to meet said icon his manager reminds you of the rules.

I smiled and shook my head.

My turn came and it was surreal. It was kind of crazy that voice.

We argued a bit about a song he wrote.

Then it was time to take the picture…

I asked him if we could do something different.

He said he would try.

Could we do a prom pose?

This very serious man got the biggest grin.

He was all in.

Afterwards we talked some more and he waved at us when he got on stage that night.

Later that week I sent him an email with the picture thanking him.

A few more emails. Some incredible advice and from this whole experience I gained this…

It is incredibly easy to not be you. It is incredibly easy to be so afraid of no, you never ask. It is incredibly easy ESPECIALLY with social media to buy into all the things everyone thinks you shouldn’t be.

To buy into all the things you shouldn’t do.

We all do it.

But if I hadn’t been unapologetically myself… well, for starters I wouldn’t have gotten to take a prom pose picture with Henry Rollins.

I wouldn’t be writing this blog

I wouldn’t be going to California at the end of May- my first trip without my daughter. She’s eleven (!)

Every day I have to remind myself.

Don’t listen to the static.

And I’m gonna remind you right now Mommas… you are fantastic. You are amazing. You are all that and a bag of chips.

You are not free salsa. You are guacamole Mommas. GUACAMOLE!

<3 Caprise

Damage and The Inspiration We Can Find Within

Damage….

Generally speaking, I try to focus on finding the good in bad situations…looking inside yourself for strength and finding your own way towards a better tomorrow.  Some days, though, I find myself struggling a little with that perspective in parts of my life.  Can you relate?

At some point, I realized that there are some things in my past that I will likely never fully recover from.

There are things that I have experienced that can’t be erased from my mind…can’t be erased from my heart…can’t be erased from my soul.  They may not affect me every day of my life, but there are certain key times that they rear their ugly little heads and cause me to re-live certain nightmares all over again.

There are certain sounds that trigger these memories…sounds that are common to television, movies and even some events with friends.  There are also certain stories and scenes from the same sources that cause the memories to flash through my mind.  I can’t very well run away and hide from life, but there are, without question, times that I would love to do just that.  I have come to realize that the proper support system in this arena is so very important to us all.

And the beauty in that is this:

I have always tried to reach out to the so-called unlovable.

I have always tried to have compassion for the bully.

I have always tried to hold understanding for those whose stories I do not know.

I have always tried to live my life with a healthy dose of grace.

In these things that have always been a part of my day, I find motivation to be better…a better version of myself…a better friend to others…a better model for my child.

In these things that I have always tried to live, I find a better understanding of my calling to live them.

So many people in this world get to know each other on the surface.  They come to friendship based on surface facts.  And when some life event unfolds in a way that catches them off guard, they run away before ever attempting to understand it.  So many people in this world define their love for each other in spite of things rather than because of things.
What if…what if we could all learn to love each other because of things instead of in spite of things?
What if…what if our pasts could be used to better know and love and look out for each other instead of as weapons and excuses against each other?
And that…that brings me back to the beauty in this all.
There are moments of pain in my life that I cannot avoid.  There are moments of the same that I cannot erase.  But these moments…are moments of opportunity and moments of potential for greatness.  These are moments sitting right in the palm of my hand, for which I fully control the direction. These are moments that I choose to learn from, that I choose to love from, that I choose to be better from.

We all have our moments.  What will you do with yours?

~Tanya

You can follow Tanya at http://sunshineandbluemoon.blogspot.com and, as always, make it a great day!

Find Your Purpose

FInding your purpose

Recently, my daughter and I went to a church service with friends and the topic was Personal Brand Identity. It was an interesting topic to think about. We watched a powerful video about Tim Shaw, a former Tennessee Titans player, who talked about the fact that growing up his brand identity in high school and college and for much of his professional career was that of a great football player. When his body began shutting down and he was diagnosed with ALS, his brand identity changed from a football player to a person with this ALS disease. It took this significant event in his life for him to realize that he had let other people’s perceptions of him become his identity. He came to the realization that he was who he had always been, Tim Shaw, best friend to God.

This story really struck me and I could completely resonate with his words. When my ex-husband and I first separated, I struggled with telling people what was going on in my life because of how it would look to others. Growing up in an Indian household and in the Indian culture, I knew that you keep family things to yourself and what you present to others is a great reflection on not only you, but your parents and how they raised you.  Even once we decided to divorce, it was difficult to talk about what was happening with certain people because of the fear I had about how they would perceive me. Over time, I realized that I had nothing to be ashamed of and that if these people were my real friends, they would still love me and support me because I was me, not just half of a couple. Some friends did fall away and distance themselves. This was one of the things I had feared and it made me feel sad and disappointed and question what was wrong with me. I didn’t understand it at first – I was the same person, wasn’t I? I had to learn that it was ok because they couldn’t be the kind of friend and supporter I needed; I had to make sure that I was surrounding myself with people who were positive and supportive and encouraging.

I was married for almost 18 years and my identity during that period was that of a wife and later, a mother. When the divorce happened, I lost my identity as a wife and that was extremely difficult. It was time to start over and rediscover what I liked again and who I really was as a person. I remember my friend telling me that when she got divorced, she went to the grocery store and was almost paralyzed because she didn’t even know what to buy anymore because she didn’t remember what she liked. She got so used to buying groceries that her husband liked and now she was confronted with the realization that it was just about her and what she wanted. That feeling can be extremely scary and overwhelming at first, but eventually it gets easier and can even become freeing.

For me, a huge milestone in this journey of rediscovery was my Zumba class. I had always loved to dance growing up so this was a perfect fit. At first, I was hesitant to walk into a class by myself where I didn’t know anyone (this was completely out of my comfort zone). The instructor was so welcoming and even though it felt like everyone else knew the routines so well and I had no idea what I was doing, I came back. The more I came back, the easier it got and eventually, I actually knew some of the routines. It took some time, but Zumba allowed me to rediscover my love of dance and without even realizing it, my self-confidence and self-esteem grew to the point where I went from dancing in the back of the class to closer to the front. I even lead dances in my class now and was recently certified to become a Zumba instructor, something I never thought I would do. Most importantly, I gained a whole new support system of wonderful and encouraging friends who I can count on for laughs, inspiration, good food and good times.

I have also found solace in reconnecting with old friends who knew me in high school or college before I got married. There’s an odd feeling of comfort and nostalgia that I can’t describe when I am in the presence of these old friends. I’ve made it a point over the past few years to call up an old friend and catch up or find a way to visit old friends when we’re traveling. It has done great things for my soul.

Each person has to find their own milestones and triggers in their journey, but it’s important to take the time to find out who you really are on the inside – your brand identity, or your purpose in life; God made each of us with a purpose in mind and it’s our job to find out what that purpose is. I’m still working on finding my purpose, but for now, maybe it’s being a desi single working mom who’s doing the best she can to make her girls proud and show them that they can do anything and helping friends who are struggling along the way.

~Laxmi~

 

Follow her at her blog, https://onedesigirlsjourney.wordpress.com/.

GOALS

Many of us have goals in our heads of things that we want to see happen. Yet they never quite make their way to paper nor do we achieve them. This weekend I am launching my new class, “The 7 Ways to Create Good Fortune” and one of the points that will be covered is setting goals and actually writing them down, working with them in an ACTIVE way, and how to reach the end result.

In preparing the materials for the class I did some research into the power of actually writing down objectives and backing them up with action plans. As a result I came across this study and it was really interesting to see the importance of writing down objectives and creating a plan.

In 1979, Harvard Business School did a study on the graduating class and their goals. Here is some of what they found.

  • 84% of the class had set no goals at all
  • 13% of the class had set written goals but had no concrete plans
  • 3% of the class had both written goals and concrete action plans

10 years later, the 13% of the class that had set and written down their targets but had not created concrete plans, were making twice as much money in comparison to the 84% of the class that had set none at all.

The 3% of the class that had both written down goals and a plan, were making TEN TIMES as much money as the rest of the 97% of the class.

The Harvard MBA Business School Study on Goal Setting

Pretty interesting, right?  I will be talking to you more about your goals. How to set them and how to make them work for you.  Start thinking about what you would like to achieve in 6 months, 1 year, 5 years. WRITE them down! This is your first step in the beginning of how to create your own personal good fortune.

 

Imparting Some Wisdom

For months now I have been trying to force myself to blog daily for you guys, or at the very least five times a week…you have only to look at the recent blog posts to see how miserably I have failed at this task.  It’s awfully hard to grow a blog site with no fresh content, just sayin’.

My problem is that my style of blogging has been to deliver a message, impart some wisdom that you might find inspiring, have and make a point with the post…yet over the past few years some days I don’t feel very inspiring and I can’t seem to dig anything out of myself that seems good enough to make a blog post out of…yet people continue to ask me to write.  This morning I posted a small paragraph on my FB public page and as of 7:46pm when I am writing this to you it has 2,100 likes, 56 comments and hundreds of shares etc…that tells me that I should probably get my head out of my ass and start writing again.  So, here is what I came up with…today I am launching “The Daily Discussion” which will be a blog post talking about whatever the heck is on my mind for the day.  I can only imagine that it will be a mix of all kinds of things as a day around here is better than a Seinfeld episode.  It is my hope that many of you will subscribe to and start following the blog as well as begin commenting on it.

Today started out with me fighting some ‘not so nice’ feelings about someone that treated me badly in the past hence my FB post this morning reminding myself as well as all of you that karma never loses an address and that it is my job to let God sort stuff out that seems unfair…at times that is sooooooo hard to do.  By making that post for all of you it reminded me also.

Then there was work and the kid who is affectionately called ‘boy’ and in fact when I don’t call him ‘boy’ and actually use his name he becomes immediately concerned, maybe after 15 years he actually thinks his name is ‘boy’!  Everyone in my world uses this term for him, so going forward when I reference ‘boy’ or ‘the boy’ you will know that is my son.  For those of you that have teenagers you can appreciate the joyful attitude that they have first thing in the morning and then again when you pick them up from school—NOT!!!  He’s a really good kid and I am grateful for that, yet like all teenagers he can use some attitude adjustments at certain times of the day…let’s hope he is not reading the blog!!!

A year and a half ago I moved from TN back home to Fairfax, Vermont because my mother was having a health challenge (she is better now)…I am an only child and when I got that phone call on Feb. 14th of 2015 in TN, I knew that I never wanted to be that far away again and receive a phone call like that.  So within 3 months I purged and packed and bought a house in VT and by May 2015 we were living here back in Northern Vermont.  That being said there is ALWAYS something to do here concerning work, the boy, the house or the land…so probably, like most of you I feel like I never stop and today is no different.

I did want to sit and get this first post done for you because it has been on my mind all day.  That’s my story for today, I will be back tomorrow and I hope that you will join me.

Sending you all love and prayers…

Cheers to the ‘Broken’ People…

Broken people and by ‘broken’ I mean that you have lived through things that didn’t work out the way you intended, relationships that broke apart, people that betrayed you, let you down, disappointed you. Or you have literally lived through being broke as hell and clawed your way up out of that. Or you were faced with something that you thought you couldn’t survive and YOU DID. By ‘broken’ I mean that things broke apart, that the perfect picture in your head was shattered into a million little bits and you had to recreate it, you had to get up and go to work anyway…you had to take care of your kid or kids anyway…you had to dry your tears, swallow your anger and get back out there and play ball.

 

Cheers to us, the ‘broken’ people…because we are stronger, fiercer, wiser, smarter and more well prepared for REAL living than the people that fall down and get into bed at the first sign of trouble, the ones who cry and whine about how life isn’t fair, the people that think life is a movie with no shitty scenes—those people will have a hard time in this life, they can’t cope…when the shit hits the fan for them or the wind blows their hair out of place or someone swears at them, they come undone, they crumble, they fall down and have no strength to get up and figure it out.

 

We are not like that…we can face down the devil himself if we have to, swords drawn ready to do battle…we are the warriors…we are the people you want standing watch over your soul, we are the ones that can turn any circumstance around because we know that life is what you make of it. If you hand us lemons we will make the best damn lemonade that you ever had and we will drink it with you, celebrating all the way.

 

So STOP wondering why your life isn’t perfect, stop thinking that there is something wrong with you because stuff is happening in your life and start standing strong in who you are. Start understanding that your ‘brokenness’ means that you are stronger than you ever imagined, that you can face down any obstacle, conquer any fear. Let the perfect people have their perfect lives, we know the truth…at the first sign of trouble they are done for and then they will be seeking out the warriors to figure out how to survive.

We are stronger in the broken places, every time we were bent to the ground our roots grew stronger and now nothing can knock us down…so CHEERS to us

Tennessee This Is Where I Leave You…

In 24 days, I will end an eleven year season in the state of Tennessee. As I was packing today I felt like I was walking through time, remembering all of the events of the last 11 years here. Ending a season is always bittersweet and I think it’s good to recall the lessons learned within each season of your life. That being said, I thought I would document the lessons learned in Tennessee and share them with you.

 

Here we go…Lessons learned in the last decade:

 

  • You CAN, in fact overcome ANY THING with prayer and a change in your thinking about the circumstance or situation…and I do mean ANY THING
  • I am stronger than I thought
  • I can survive betrayal of the worst degree and not be bitter
  • I can forgive people without having to keep them in my life
  • I can pray for people that have tried to harm me
  • I can be alone and be happy
  • Being alone is better than trying to turn myself into someone I don’t know to stay with someone that I don’t belong with
  • GOD does, in fact, have everything under control
  • GOD makes ways where there are no ways
  • Trusting GOD will never, ever fail me
  • Never get involved with someone that is not free to be involved, if someone is doing something else know you are worth enough to walk away until they finish it.
  • Never start a relationship on the tail end of an old relationship
  • Don’t jump from one ending to a new beginning, take a space to heal, breathe and evaluate
  • Work hard and then work harder
  • Be yourself no matter what
  • Do not enable
  • Do not over give
  • Let people sit in their shit sometimes because that is the only way that they will learn
  • Don’t try to fix people, it won’t work
  • Watch ACTIONS, don’t listen to words and when you see red flags in the actions, freaking PAY ATTENTION
  • TRUST YOUR GUT
  • TRUST YOUR FIRST REACTIONS to people, there is a warning there, HEED it
  • If it doesn’t feel right, it isn’t—walk away
  • Don’t make excuses for dysfunctional shit just get away from it
  • Be kind to people
  • Stop complaining and realize that words matter—life and death in the power of your tongue—choose words wisely
  • Don’t settle
  • I need to listen more sometimes and talk less
  • Pay attention to people and think about how they will feel before you say or do something that effects them
  • I am not easy to help
  • Everything has a price
  • My relationship with GOD is my most important one
  • The people that really love you will never walk away from you, no matter what a shit you are
  • BE GRATEFUL

 

Really, I grew up in Tennessee, I came here at 36 for work with no family and a 3 year old son…I was scared to death yet I knew that I needed to make my way as a single mom and the opportunity was one that I felt led to take. I can remember lying in bed on nights during that first year scared as hell wondering how it would all turn out. I had lived around my family my whole life and now I was here in a new place with nobody. I just kept praying and putting one foot in front of the other and I made a whole life here, made friends that became family and it all turned into an amazing season…there were some hard parts, even some terribly devastating parts…yet looking back over the 11 years—all in all it has been an amazing time of being blessed and being able to bless so many others. I came into my own here, in Boston (my hometown) we would say that I made my bones in Tennessee.

 

Now just like GOD called me here 11 years ago, He is now calling me back to New England and so back I go in 24 days to see what this new chapter will bring.

And so Tennessee this is where I leave you…thank you for keeping me safe, thank you for teaching me that I can do more than what I thought I could, thank you for all of the people that you sent into my life here, thank you for the memories and the lessons, for the people I have loved and for the people that taught me lessons, thank you for teaching me to trust GOD more, thank you for all of it, the good, the bad and the ugly parts…you have made me what I am now and for that I am so grateful…until we meet again…

 

 

Ranger UP!

Ranger up! What you have right now is a product of what you have spent your attention on in the past.  Whatever you give your attention to and whatever you speak is what you will manifest. Don’t be fooled into thinking that what you watch, read and talk about doesn’t matter— IT DOES.  Your life will manifest itself as you lay it out in your thinking, speaking and acting.

If you don’t like what you see in front of you start changing your actions…you can’t expect to sit around and beg God to change your life when you are polluting your mind with crap and sitting around waiting for money to fall out of the sky…get up off your ass and make a change…read some affirmations, get to the gym, take a walk, help someone else, stop whining and complaining that life isn’t working out the way you wanted it to.  YOU are responsible for what happens in your life, not your parents, not the government, not your ex….YOU!

Nobody is going to solve your issues except you…this is the cold, hard truth and it is also the key to setting you free from what is stopping you in your life.  GOD is WAITING for YOU to DO SOMETHING!!!!!  So get moving…RANGER UP, quit complaining and start being part of the solution.  Now GO!

 

RANGER UP! JUMP!