Tag Archives: individual

Do As I Say, Not As I Do

Do as I say, not as I do…

As the Mom of a tween girl I spend a lot of time reinforcing.

Reinforcing about how she looks.

How she’s doing in school.

How her friends feel about her.

How her crush feels about her.

About who she is and who she wants to be.

If I could bubble wrap the kid I would. Except that will do her no favors.

I work really, really hard at helping her find all the positives in life. Focusing on the things that make her unique, not letting things get to her.

Yet… when it comes to myself.

Kinda dropping the ball.

Big time.

So much so, that today for example after having honestly one of the most relaxing weekends ever with said tween, I let an email wreck a good portion of my afternoon.

First, I know I shouldn’t check work emails.

Second, I shouldn’t check work emails.

Let’s just say between the content and who sent it. I stewed.

Then … I thought about some of the advice some of the ladies on this page have given. I thought about what I’d say to G.

I flagged said email and let it go. Or tried to. I thought about what about the email made me mad.

For a hot second I  felt sorry for the sender for spending a beautiful Spring day on work and rather than be angry realized I now have one less task facing me on what is always a busy Monday.

It wasn’t that hard. Taking a step back. Shifting my mindset. If there is one thing I tend to lose sleep over, it’s definitely work. If I can find ways to change how I react … Mondays at a minimum will be easier and who doesn’t want that?

I’m not saying I will be able to do this with everything but if it gets a few hours of a Spring Sunday back. I’m all for it.

Happy Spring, Mamas!

<3 Caprise

Embrace Yourself For Yourself

Embrace who you are.

It’s easy to feed into the negatives of becoming mature and beyond but let’s acknowledge there is some positives.

Aaagghh the blessed relief of just being yourself! With maturity comes that awesome stage where you can  just be yourself .You have given up pretence and are starting to accept the real you. For example I have given up the idea that to be productive you have to be a morning person .There are those that love the mornings ,up all bright-eyed and sparky however I have embraced the night owl in me.In the past I would have set myself busy morning goals forcing myself to race around to reach them meanwhile feeling at my worst for the day.In the morning my spirit animal is a sloth,slow moving and blinking in the sun versus a quick, alert owl at night. Now in my Forties I am realizing , I DON’T HAVE TO ! I can rearrange things most days so that when not working I can laze about in the morning and refuse to feel guilty.I have achieved a lot in the evenings and hope the new realisation brings more.

Experience also gives you the ability to see beyond first appearances, to look deeper and see the moral , character and  humour of someone.It gives you the chance you look for what you really want in friends and other relationships.Experience teaches you the people in life who make you genuinely laugh are treasures.

The joy of knowing your own mind, likes and dislikes. It is a freedom from the early years when one was more prone to worrying about others opinions and just wanting to  be the same as your friends.The need to please has “left the building”.You start to embrace all your weird and wacky ways and love each and every one of them.An appreciation for uniqueness and individuality begins.You know what you want and you wont be talked out of it.If I want to give up wearing mascara after years of itchiness,  , wear what I want not according to trends, read late into the night ,watch British mysteries on TV and sleep in, I WILL….I know what I like to watch, eat, read and where I enjoy going, so all that adolescent angst about who you are is over.You know who you are and the freedom is in giving into that.Embrace all that is you!

~Toni~