Tag Archives: holiday

The Dreaded Day Of Valentine

The dreaded day of Valentine….This has always been a tough holiday for me. Since I can remember, I have struggled with being a single person on this day. When I was in college, I decided that I would start taking myself out on dates. I called them “Jesus dates.” It was just me and Him and we’d go and I would actually communicate with Him and treat myself to dinner and a movie. I continued these little dates about once a month or so regardless of the Valentine’s Day stuff and tried to value myself during these moments. It got me through young adulthood.

Then, as a full-on adult, still single with no prospects, I ran into an old friend who introduced me to a guy from another country. He was cute. He had a nice butt. I told him so. It was love at first sight.  I was in my 30s by this time. Our short whirlwind ended in marriage and our first Valentine’s Day was spent watching The Walking Dead. My husband bought me chocolates and he drew a picture for me. He drew the praying hands from scratch. He knew I was (and still am) a woman of Faith and drew the praying hands. I wish I still had that drawing. It was the first and last best Valentine’s Day ever.

Now, with about 10 additional years and two children in tow, it’s just me again. A party of one. With onesies… I have returned to being alone on this dreaded day, but I have kids now. They see everything.

EVERY. THING.

How do I navigate these waters without teaching them that I absolutely have no love for this holiday, for what this holiday currently means? I must decide every year to approach it head on for them. At some point, I’ll teach them the history, but in the meantime, I will have to show them how to love their peers and teachers. Last year, I bought my kids silk roses and mini hearts with chocolates inside. They turned around and gave the silk roses back to me when they saw I did not have any in my own hand. They shared their candy with me, too. The silk roses are still in my kitchen where they gave them back to me. This year, we went to the Dollar Tree and bought each of their teachers a customized gift. That was fun for the kids. It helped me not be depressed or angry this year as I pursue a divorce or reel from the loss of several friends or other significant relationships or jobs or what-have-you.

The Dreaded Day of Valentine is just another day this year. This is better than it being a day to look forward to hating.

~ALG~

Please Pass The Eggnog

Please pass the eggnog.

Holiday party season is in full swing. Which means I get grilled. You get grilled. There is not a single person at a holiday party,gathering or function who is safe except maybe someone’s Grammy. As she should be as she is a big part of why we are all gathered and typically in my experience brings the best baked goods.

Please pass the eggnog.

Sadly that’s not what this blog is about.

It’s about that uncomfortable questioning that comes each holiday season.

It makes me so uncomfortable my eczema flares up. This year I was hoping my flare was because of my new tattoo, but I’ve been going to the same guy for five years with no issues. Also, said ink is nowhere near my flare up location.

It was because I had a holiday work event with new people and I knew I would get questions about my plans for the holidays.

Which honestly is a perfectly acceptable thing to ask. It’s people’s reactions to my answers that can be tough.

At  this year’s gathering I was asked what I was doing for the holidays to which I said my family was visiting from the East Coast.

I then was asked if we spent time with my husband’s family.

No. I’m not married. Divorced.

Oh … you’re not married. Remarried?

No

Oh. Do you have a boyfriend.

Ummm… well kinda, it’s new so…

So just you and your daughter?

Well…

Oh that’s too bad.

Wait, wait, wait. First of all it’s not just me and my daughter. It’s her grandparents and aunt, uncles, cousins. AND even if it was just us, WHICH it has been many times we have traditions in place.

Like our gingerbread house that gets attacked by dinosaurs that we build every year no matter what. It gets attacked because frankly gingerbread houses are hard.

Cookie baking.

Hanging out in jammies all day on Christmas.

Going to a movie.

Pizza!

Yule log for breakfast!

My Christmas may not fit the mold but it’s mine and hers and even at what I thought was the hardest and worst she didn’t, and shame on me I shouldn’t have either because I had her.

At the end of the day as hard as it is to answer the questions and feel like it’s not perfect, remember and I believe Noelle sings a similar song on the regular… it’s about moments. It’s about time. It’s about each other.

I sometimes forget I have the best Christmas gift of all, she’s eleven, she’s almost taller than me and it does make me giggle that singing Jump Around at the top of my lungs embarrasses her a little.

In the meantime though, maybe pass me some eggnog with a little something extra in it.

Remember Mommas we got this and I got you.

Much love and Happy Holidays,

~~Caprise

Single Mom of the amazing Dbl G
Teacher
Sometime DJ
T-shirt collector
Henry Rollins Middle Aged Punk Prom Date

2018 Approaches Another Year To Put Behind Us

And here we go, the countdown into the Holiday Crazies and 2018…another year to put behind us and another year to create in front of us.  2017 was the end of a lot of things for me, mainly my corporate Executive Team position with Dreamstime.   Most of you know that after almost 15 years I stepped down to spend more time with my family and to do the work that I feel compelled to do in the world…it has been a time of transition and 7 months later there are still days when I feel complete and utter terror, however I also feel a sense of freedom and right choice.  I know without a doubt that I made the right decision and I look forward to starting the year fresh with my own company and not having to worry about what other people are doing.

I am starting to think about making a list of all the things that were accomplished in 2017 and all of the things that need to be left behind, behaviors, attitudes, conditions and in some cases people.  I am feeling like 2018 is going to be an amazing year filled with miracles that we don’t even expect.  Soon I will start talking to you guys about writing down goals for 2018, so start thinking about that—if you could accomplish ANYTHING in 2018 what would that be??

Also start thinking about what needs to be left behind you as we enter into this new season–and what in 2017 you are grateful for.  The more work we do on being complete and preparing for the new year that we want to manifest, the better things will be.  We will keep talking about this….

 

Noelle