I am really learning to love my time alone…The last couple weeks, I have really started to enjoy hiking more by myself. Last summer, I would spend many nights hiking at the state park and I started to really enjoy it. Now that the weather is nice again, I have started my nightly hiking. This time, I have made a point to go by myself. I honestly am really starting to just enjoy this time. In addition, I just bought my state park sticker for the year and I plan to try new day trips with just me…. No friends, just me.
This is a time that I can use to clear my head and my thoughts…and there is a lot going on in my head most days. It is just peaceful and I am very content. I have many friends and can easily go hiking with another person, however I choose to do these things alone. I am not sure if its independence or I am just more content being alone.
It took me a few years after my divorce, to start doing activities alone. You basically have to start from scratch after being married for 13 years. I had to start watching TV alone, shopping alone, walking alone, eating alone… and it was hard to learn to do all of those things alone again. You have to really push yourself to do these things.
And many times you just don’t feel comfortable doing them. But then, I really started to enjoy that time alone…and then it turned into me looking forward to that time. And now after 5 years, It is a new feeling of happiness and contentment. I could really go on and on about learning to do things alone and not feel lonely. It’s a hard thing to overcome.
There is a difference between finding things to do to fill your alone time and planning things you love to do alone. What I am saying is that… after my divorce, I would find things to do to fill my time alone. I think many of us go through that period. And now I actually plan things to do alone.
I actually plan activities to do alone. I plan nights to hike alone. I plan projects to do at home alone. I plan these activities for myself just as if I was doing them with a group of people. I actually plan them ahead of time rather than dreading doing them alone.
Church is probably one of the most rewarding things that I have learned to do alone. This year, I joined a new church and I started going by myself when I do not have my kids. This was a huge step for me. At first I thought, people are going to think I am a complete loner…and then I realized there are many people that go to church alone. I learned that this was one of the most rewarding times of my week. Honestly, I would now pick going to church alone anyday.
I have done many small home improvements at my house. Very small improvements, which mostly include painting the entire house. But I have learned that I love to find little projects and see them through by myself. I am just more gratified from starting and completing the project by myself.
I know some people find doing things alone, scary or uneasy… I get it. I still have many friends that can not walk into a restaurant alone. For some of us, like myself, it is easy to do activities, hobbies, projects, by ourselves. We are the people that would pick a 3 hour car ride by ourselves over a road trip with 5 friends.
I think I have just learned to be really content with my life and surroundings. I have no problem now choosing to do something alone over maybe with friends. It does take time…it took me a long time to get to this point, but I really enjoy it now. I embrace this time alone.