One of my best friends is going through a rough, long separation. They have 4 very young children, and this has been an ongoing situation. A toxic, damaging, ongoing situation.
She is fighting like hell to get her normal back-not going to happen. Even if the two of them make it out on the other side of this together, stronger. What she refers to her normal, will never be their normal again, EVER.
I want her to leave him in a serious way. I want her to begin working on only her and her children. I see someone in her that I have begun to not even recognize. I have patience, and love for her because I have been there myself, many years ago, and I care so darn deeply for this woman. Where everyone’s situation is different I don’t like to compare my experiences to hers, I see myself in her, those many years ago. She is a strong, confident, independent, smart, beautiful, funny, loving woman! I say “is” because it’s all still there but I slowly see her losing everything she is. He has somehow begun to manipulate that perfect, beautiful woman in to something unrecognizable. A few months back I use to see remorse in his actions and words. I don’t see or feel that any more. I also love her husband,her husband and mine were the best of friends, I am not sure what happened to him. I don’t like it and think he is very dangerous.
She needs to find her way back to who she is and begin to mold her new normal in to what is best for her and the kids-what they WANT! Not the chaos, anger, bitterness, stress that this man brings. I am not sure what to do to help her. I wish I knew. I am not convinced she knows what I can do to help her.
I love her and she doesn’t deserve this.
Love to All-Kim