Tag Archives: helpful

A Little Help From My Friends

A little help from my friends.

Captain’s log it is day ninety of this can’t do much business.

Wait… that’s not how I start these blogs for you.

This week’s background music is Foo Fighters and covers of various Foo Fighters songs. Right now the Color Morale is doing a very punk version of Everlong.

My ears are happy. The magic elixir is working.

Last night I hit my ceiling and crawled right into my head. I am a person who lives by timelines, even though I’m pretty laid back I like deadlines. This upside down world has ravaged that.

I had some pretty big dreams for this summer and they aren’t happening. 

I am over seeing my face on a computer screen. 

All that aside, I did something I don’t do obviously enough of. I reached out. I am part of an online Moms group. The two big things we have in common, we are Moms and we all have  a seriously wicked sense of humor. 

That’s it. We are otherwise all incredibly different. I posted this morning- how I was feeling. I was raw. I was true. My heart very much on my sleeve.

Within minutes messages , than another, than another. Each one with words of encouragement. Support. Humor. 

So… emboldened by that. I posted on another group this time not to talk about the fact I was feeling like Eeyore but to talk about my favorite group. The distraction of conversation about how we all collectively were bummed their tour got canceled but excited about possible new music – was what I needed.

Feeling really brave, I group chatted a few women I have gotten to know through common interests. Again, we are all remarkably different but they have lived lives and the words, what I needed. 

I found a quote that I am holding onto tightly during this: “a diamond is chunk of a coal that did well under pressure.” When I shared this with one of my oldest friends she said her husband says “some days are diamonds, some days are coal.” Then she told me there is no shame in being a coal miner some days.

We have a tendency as women to say we are ok when we aren’t. To apologize when we’re sad and think that’s somehow a mark of weakness.

I’m not sure where we learned those lessons but they’re wrong.

When people care about you, they want to be there for you.

Let them.

You take care of everyone else  Mommas.

Let people take care of you.

Be safe

Much love

<3 Caprise

I Could Use A Hand

Have you found yourself in a situation where you really could use a hand?  A helping hand?  A strong hand?  A loving hand?

Did you sit around and wait for one to show up or did you ask for help?  If you’re not one to ask for help, I get it….then please don’t be the one who complains because nobody is there when you need them.  People CANNOT read our minds.  AND if they’ve never been through what we’re going through, they really don’t have a clue as to what’s needed.  Truly.

Until someone goes through the loss of a loved one, they cannot imagine the rollercoaster that you are on when you lost your sweetheart.  They really have no clue what would calm your never-ending mind babble, tend to your achy breaky heart, comfort your whirlwind of why’s or come visit to offer a quiet long hug.  Really.

A mom who is raising a girl has no clue what it’s like to raise a boy.

A woman who did not go through menopause has no clue what a hot flash is like.

A sister who has never been a Troop Leader cannot fathom the joy of the troop getting a WIN.

What’s in your way of asking for help?  Pride? Ignorance? Selfishness? Lack of Trust?   Whatever it is… think about the people who said “If you need anything, let me know.”  They MEANT it!  They are waiting for you to take them up on it.  They really really really want to help but have absolutely NO idea where to start without stepping on your toes.

Are you able to offer a helping hand to someone?  If you are, be sure to follow-through.  Or if it’s a really CLOSE friend…then just show up.  I remember when a friend did that to me… It made my day!

Go make someones day.


Your God-girl


Gratitude Is Like A Birthday Present

Is it my birthday

Gratitude is like birthday presents. It comes in all different sizes & packages. It comes from places you expect and places that surprise you. Some gifts rock your world while others look like they were a re-gift from the 80’s. Some are given with the fullness of authentic love while others are backed up with an obligation attitude.

To express gratitude takes effort. To stop in your tracks and have the thought is good, but then to speak the words… that takes a conscious act of the heart.

It could look like this:

A small size gratitude could look like a 20 second thanks while you’re running between errands and someone held the door for you.

A medium gratitude might look like a surprise as someone gives you a treat you never would’ve imagined, & you blurt out a laughter within the Thank You.

A large size gratitude comes from deep within your soul where truthful thanks exist. You take a minute to give an honest word of thanksgiving, you look the person in the eyes & you let them know you mean what you say.

The true spirit comes from a thankful heart. A heart who knows things could be worse, acknowledges it is exactly how it is supposed to be right now and it is GOOD. How do you do that you may ask….. What is there possibly to be grateful for in your tragic drama-full life.” You say. An attitude of gratitude can be practiced every day starting with little things, meaningful details, acceptance of mediocrity. A good way to get yourself in the mood is to start a journal and write down 3 things your grateful for every day and see where it takes you

Start here: ….. toothbrush & toothpaste, a hot cup of coffee, clean clothes, hot shower.

It could take you to a happy place you never knew existed.

Your God Girl,


Chicken In A Can

Was I paying it forward out of love for my fellow man or out of fear from my past?  Whichever it was, it made me smile.  Made him smile.  And caused another to take notice.  I was grateful that I could help.

I must have made a decision when I was a young girl, to never be without money.  Never to be in a position of NOT affording life.  Life as I had been living in.  Life as a young girl in a safe, warm, loving home had at her fingertips.  Life was good.  Until I was introduced to chicken from a can, powdered milk and big jars of peanut butter. I don’t really remember why and I’m sure my mom explained it to me…. but as a young girl… I did not like that one bit.  And That…. I think is the reason I promised to NOT be without money.

I was in the grocery line the other day and the man in front of me didn’t have enough on his food stamp card to pay for his groceries, so he started to take things out of the bags.  As I stood there….it came from deep down in my belly right out of my mouth…. “oh NO, that is NOT happening”.  “Oh no.  Uh uh.  Put those groceries back in your bag.”  And I paid for them.  No thinking, no contemplating, no wondering, just BOOM ***  “Pay for it.” Is all I heard in my head.  It must have been surmountable to him because he couldn’t say thank you enough.

I was grateful I could help, grateful he got to keep the food he needed to eat, grateful for God’s good and wonderful ways.  And so so so grateful for the cans of chicken, powdered milk and big jars of peanut butter from childhood.


Your God Girl,


How to Handle Fear

In all my years of coaching people it has come to my attention that it is difficult for people to make progress stick…they make some forward movement during the class or the consulting appointment and then they return to their ‘real lives’ and all the good insight that they had vanishes…

So I am developing some new pieces of work called MAPS





These will be short ‘tools’ that people can use to remind themselves about how to effectively handle or change a particular circumstance or behavior, I will be posting them here as I create/write them and then perhaps I will turn them into a downloadable workbook for sale on the site.  Each MAPS will have a simple bullet-pointed list of points to help you remember the best way to navigate through something.

In the first one we will talk about FEAR.

Handling Fear

  • Recognize that most of the ‘fear’  you experience comes from pulling in experiences from your past… as in something that has happened reminds you of something that did happen in the past and that past happening scared you or rendered you unable to respond…so now you see the fresh circumstance, however it really isn’t ‘fresh’ because you have already connected it to the past and now you are reacting to the past, which takes away all your POWER in the present.
  • Be VERY clear that you have the power to CHOOSE how you relate to the past. Every response is a choice, we can make the conscious choice of how we respond in the present to the past.  We can choose to see things that happened as different than they felt when the event actually took place.  As in a formerly challenging childhood could now be viewed as an excellent training for the adults we have become.  It is OUR choice when it comes to deciding what stories we tell about the past; do you choose to be a victim of the past or do you choose to hold the past as a blessing or a learning experience.  How we ‘frame’ something has everything to do with how much power it has over us.
  • CHOOSE to frame the past in a different context, one in which you kept your power. A context in which the past was a contribution to you rather than a detriment.  Everything comes down to the language we use to describe it, words are powerful tools.  The words that we speak about something go forward into the future to create the circumstances and those circumstances will solidify themselves exactly how we spoke them.
  • Understand that by recreating and re-framing your relationship with the past you will actually do away with most of the things that you fear. If you are no longer reacting to the past, then you are free to respond to what is actually happening in the present.  Reactions are devoid of power, when you react you are like a puppet on a string…locked into something from the past and not free to use all the tools available to you as an adult to RESPOND to the situation at hand.  All of your power comes from the ability to remain peaceful and respond.
  • STOP worrying about stuff that has not even happened, stop playing the ‘what if’ game and stop thinking thoughts that scare you. Understand that you have the ability to create your life the way that you want it, fear is a false construct and it’s time for you to leave it behind.

~XO, Noelle



Finding Benevolence In Chaos

When you are a single mother, most of the time you are fearful that you won’t be able to make ends meet. Trying to hail mary a check at the grocery because your pantry is empty. I have been there so many times. We are constantly reminded, “the struggle is real”.

Lucky enough, I was able to find a job at a local trauma hospital. Watch out local market, here we come!

I saw things that  will not settle in my psyche for a long time. Along with severe accidents, there were things that were amusing. A nice balance of good and bad.

Over time, I was able to somewhat shield myself from the chaos. After this, I realized that I was going to be given a huge life lesson.

Originally, I thought I was not able to feel compassion for others. I was too involved in my own life to pay attention. It was then that my heart opened up and my lessons were about to be learned.

Most of the reps would take the easy cases. They would shy away from the others. Since I had a job to do, I took the ones that they didn’t want. Compassion 101.

While a family was waiting for their person, I checked and offered what could be done to make them comfortable. Tissues? Ice water? A warm blanket? It was only 2 minutes of my time. Later in the night, they had thanked me for being so sweet.

I took the unruly kids to the snack drawer and loaded them with treats. They were thrilled!

Eventually,I scouted out the patient’s that needed kind words or special treats. It was my lesson because I began to see the blessings of kindness. My little ole heart had started to open. Indeed, not everyone was a jerk.

Compassion and kindness are free. Most people appreciate small gestures. Take the time to smile. Practice, practice, practice. Go thru the lesson to get the reward. At the end of the day, embrace your blessing. You won’t be disappointed.

Striving for exceptional – Tristen Ahlsey

Doing Good For Others Is Doing Good For Yourself Too

Doing good for others is something everyone does, or should be doing. It doesn’t have to be something HUGE…a smile, or a wave is doing good for others, and it certainly makes you feel great about yourself seeing someone happy by something you have said or done.

Our school did the 12 Days of (insert school’s name)’s Christmas. I LOVED it. It was something new they did this year, and it was highly encouraged for students to participate. Saturday’s and Sunday’s were left off the calendar and the 12 days consisted of 12 days of school.  One day was a food drive-“Bring a can(s) of food for the local food bank”,  “Be an Angel and tell someone how much you are blessed to have them and why”, Wear a Christmas hat for $1 donation to the local food bank”, and so on….There were 12 days of the kids doing good for someone. Some days were simple things, such as wear Christmas bells to jingle in the Holiday cheer(poor faculty with all the kids in bells..lol)and my daughter said it was so cool, fun and made everyone happy and in a good mood. She said it was exciting to see the food piling up in the hallways from the can drive, and that all the different hats worn was really neat.  “I wonder why it has to be limited to around the Holidays?” I asked her. She wondered the same thing-she said doing good made her feel good too! I have talked to my children a lot about even the simple, free things for someone else can make a world of difference for that person and yourself. It’s not always about giving something, although if you can, please do! Take a moment and think about when the last time was that you felt good about doing good? Not just an every day chore but something above and beyond the normal of your every day routine..an out of the way gesture?



Love to All-Kim